If you’ve written me and I haven’t written back it’s because I haven’t had time to give your email the attention it so richly deserves! You know how yesterday I took off? Today I’m accidentally taking off, too. Brett is back at my dad’s still painting and Noah is still at his playdate (it turned into a sleep-over). Madison is dancing to Jack’s Big Music Show right now, thus allowing me to update my blog but that’s it. There won’t be any time for work. Hopefully tonight because I really want to work on my friend’s new wordpress site and I could always be working on my chapter. But this afternoon will be about niece Lucia’s 3rd birthday party!

I’m trying to figure out if my state of grouchiness is PMS or related to a need to change some behavior. I’m leaning toward the former. Plus I need to exercise. Brett took me off couch to 5k because he thinks I need to walk some being that my shinsplits are so damn bad. I think they’re worse because I’ve been limping to semi-limping for a year. (And my toe? Still hurts if I step on it wrong so I have to concentrate to walk correctly but in a way that doesn’t hurt it — in other words, I still catch myself semi-limping.) Walking is less fun that “jogging” (I put that in quotations because one could not call what I do actually jogging). I’ve been downloading podcasts to ease the boredom.

Ok so it’s PMS and the need to walk, this grouchiness. Also that sage burning we did when we first moved in didn’t seem to work. The house seems to be living in its own state of grouchiness. I told you all about the bad dream I had about the guy who lived here? Let me find it in my archives. Here it is.

We’ve since found out that the man who lived here wasn’t nice in lots of other ways, too, like poisoning the dogs belonging to the neighbor behind us. And we both still feel him here. I don’t know if he’s dead, which is to say I don’t think we’re being haunted — I think it’s left-over bad energy. (I’m not a woo-woo person so writing this, I’m kinda cringing but it’s what we’re feeling about the place.)

Our last house had been a rental for the past 20 years and it felt blank to us — no matter what we did, the house seemed neutral. Friendly but neutral. This one feels like it wants to be friendly but can’t quite let itself. Anytime we do any home improvements, we notice an immediate positive difference. But it still feels … off.

I’ve got a friend who might know some house clearing people (that’s clearing not cleaning) and I’m thinking about it. Except it’s hard to rationalize what with our current budget freeze. But I tell you — we think about moving all the time even though this house has many things we love and it’s in a location that’s perfect and even though there’s no way we could afford to move and the house needs too much work to put it on the market anyway. But still, we think about it a lot. And that makes us sad because we loved our old house right up until the end despite it being small, cramped, without insulation and in a location that was no longer working for us.

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