How to feel old
28Jun2006 Filed under: The Story of My Life Author: Dawn1. Go to myspace because an evil friend sent you the link to a mutual friend.
2. Get a pseudo-membership so you can access blogs and pictures.
3. Begin to see stalking possibilities and commence stalking.
4. Locate ex-boyfriends: no surprises.
5. Locate ex-friends: no surprises.
6. Look up children you used to babysit for and see they are all in college and apparently have full-grown faces and bodies.
7. Say out loud to the screen, “Why, I used to wipe your tushie and now look at you trolling for dates on the internet! And such language! Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?”
8. Turn off computer sound because the stuff the kids these days are listening to just sounds like so much noise.
I. Am. So. Old.
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About Me
I have two kids and a delightfully odd husband, Brett. My children are Noah (born to us in 1997) and Madison (born to her first mom, Pennie, in 2004 and brought to our family through a domestic, open adoption). They are my inspiration and also the reason I don't get more done around here.
I'm a writer and sometimes I get published, which is a nice thing. I write for joy, I write for money and when I'm very lucky, both things happen at the same time. My work appears in national publications including Yoga Journal, Disney's Family.com, Utne, Wondertime, Brain Child and Salon. Currently I am working on a book about my daughter's adoption and seeking representation for the proposal. I also own Smart Cookie Communications with my husband.
Twitter:
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- Test fireworks going off at game. Kids are getting antsy.
- Off to the clippers
- @mombrain CONGRATULATIONS! Glad that bus finally hit you! :)
- Fresh blog: It's raining http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=3442
- @larak: We had an old jukebox growing up so for me it's Abba, Disco Duck, Conway Twitty & don't it make my brown eyes blue.
Lilian
June 28th, 2006 at 2:22 am
Yeah… that’s why I won’t go into myspace. Ever. (that and the fact that for Brazilians the thing is Orkut - which is “milder”, I hearsay, not Myspace).
Leslie
June 28th, 2006 at 3:24 am
LOL! I love my Elvis Costello. I play it and old Bruce Springstein very loud when I’m in the car by myself. I also want to grow my hair out to really really long and let it go grey. Then I’m getting some more tattoos. Really.
MomVee
June 28th, 2006 at 11:45 am
Oh, I hear you. Here’s another one: we came home from church last Sunday with a cheeseball 90s-vintage “hymn” stuck in our heads, so to get it out Rick put “Pyromania” on the turntable (specifically “Rock Of Ages.”)
“This album came out 23 years ago,” he said.
barb
June 28th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
i just want you to know that “Dazzle” (in your itunes) is one of my favorite Banshee tunes…
orrielynn
June 28th, 2006 at 1:38 pm
old. you dont know from old.
talk to me when you walk from your living room to your BR to get something and once you get there you cant remember what you came for. walk back to LR, remember, return to BR, and forget again.
let me know when everything, and i mean everything, is 6″ south of where they used to be.
tell me when you wake up in the morning and it takes your old bones
five minutes to get into sitting position.
i wanna know when you stand up and your left knee buckles from that old knee injury.
let us hear when every doctor you go to is ten years your junior.
and finally, give a yell (if you have the strength) when your aged bladder cant hold water for more than two hours and awakens you five times during the night.
now, THATS old.
Schnozz
June 28th, 2006 at 6:45 pm
Myspace makes ME feel old, and I only graduated college four years ago. I think Myspace is often about everything you leave behind in maturity … namely, the desperate need to be popular and call attention to yourself. (Says the blogger who spends hours every week broadcasting her thoughts to strangers.)