I was just lying down with Madison for a tiny bit to get her to fall asleep for nap and — oops! — fell asleep.
Hebrew school and religious school start this week, which means extra work time for me. Since Madison is still adjusting to the babysitter this will be a help. I’m having a hard time getting focused when Jasmine’s here. I’m trying to work on an essay about walking away from infertility treatments but I also want/need to keep pitching so I’m thinking I could use some time for one and some time for the other. Plus I need to get this office-area cleared up.
Season change-overs always make me get anxious to move into some sort of transition myself. I like fall best even though it’s 88,000 times busier than spring (what with all the classes starting and holidays looming); I’m not sure why this is. Maybe it’s because it’s time for all those good one-pot dinners. Speaking of which, I also need to get my freezer filled back up so I’ve been reserving cookbooks at the library like mad.
My head is full of domestic things.
Question from this weekend courtesy of andrea:
Short version: I’m working on a presentation a conference in October, specifically about the experiences of mothering a special-needs child on the internet (I loathe the term special needs, by the way, but can’t think of a better one). The further I get into it, the more I uncover the gritty dystopian reality of the blogosphere, to wit, that we’ve imported all the traditional power dynamics of “real” life onto our “virtual” spaces and have proceeded to exclude, prejudge, ignore, dismiss, etc. with abandon. (I’m sure you can tell I’m brimming with enthusiasm for this topic.) (It’s going to be a JOY for the audience, I can tell.)
Anyway.
My question is, do I have my head up my ass?
Am I seeing things? Am I making it all up?
My answer: I’m sure you’re on the money and I’d like to hear more about what you’re seeing. I rarely leave my cozy little home and immediate neighborhood here on the internet community (I like living in my bubble) so I’d like to hear more about what you’re discovering, please.
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About Me
I have two kids and a delightfully odd husband, Brett. My children are Noah (born to us in 1997) and Madison (born to her first mom, Pennie, in 2004 and brought to our family through a domestic, open adoption). They are my inspiration and also the reason I don't get more done around here.
I'm a writer and sometimes I get published, which is a nice thing. I write for joy, I write for money and when I'm very lucky, both things happen at the same time. My work appears in national publications including Yoga Journal, Disney's Family.com, Utne, Wondertime, Brain Child and Salon. Currently I am working on a book about my daughter's adoption and seeking representation for the proposal. I also own Smart Cookie Communications with my husband.
Twitter:
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- @mombrain CONGRATULATIONS! Glad that bus finally hit you! :)
- Fresh blog: It's raining http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=3442
Andrea
September 5th, 2006 at 10:56 pm
Well, that’s a relief.
So far the only concrete bit I have (because I’m still in the process of crunching numbers for the rest of it) is that communities tend to link within themselves, first of all–no great surprise. So moms of regular kids tend to link to other moms of regular kids, and moms of kids w/ Downs tend to link to other moms of kids w/ Downs, and so on. The problem being, first off, if you are a mom of a regular kid it’s a lot easier to get links from outside of your community, and your community is a lot bigger, so you end up w/ way more links overall. And since success and status on the blogosphere tend to be measured in links and/or traffic, that’s a big advantage.
It also looks like it’s a lot easier to break down that wall if your special-needs child is not disabled. The two SNM blogs on my blogroll that break the pattern involve kids who have some sort of issue, but it doesn’t affect their physical abilities, cognitive development or social skills. Whereas blogs by moms of kids who have some sort of condition affecting one of those three things are not as popular.
I’m now in the process of looking at traffic and ingoing/outgoing links, and it looks to be shaking down the same way. I haven’t looked at other factors, b/c my talk is supposed to be on SNM blogs, but my hunch is if I looked at it by income or class or race or whatever, you’d see a similar pattern.
I think the reason this is bugging me so much is b/c it’s already so easy to be isolated in real life if your child faces issues above the norm, and then to have it reinforced on the supposedly democratic sphere of the internet is just infuriating.
PinkPoppies
September 5th, 2006 at 11:50 pm
I am curious why you think the Intenet is democratic. I have never found it to be so, from the first incarnation of usenet groups to list servs to blogs. There is the illusion of democracy in that anyone who has a computer, or access to one, can self publish.
The fact is you still need money if you want your page to look reasonable, and more than anything you need time. If you are a mom with few resources, I think you will make different choices from someone who has time/money. Once you factor in privilege, education, means and opportunity, a very different picture of the blogging world emerges.
My close reading of a wide range of blogs – mommyblogs, adoption, infertility, politics, recovery, etc to name a few – shows me a world where most blogs operate very autocratically. Especially if you look at a) how comments function in separating and grouping individuals, b) how cliques emerge, and c) how the status quo is maintained by long time readers who identify personally with the blogger and rush to defend by shutting down conversations.
I often wonder how many comments never see the light of day due to the blogger’s moderation. I wonder how many people never comment or stop reading after they see petulant displays usually observed on playgrounds (although I have to be honest, I have seen better behaviour on the playground than in the blogosphere recently). If we really look at the meaning of democracy, and certainly within the North American (US/Canada) context, it means being free to speak, I truly do not believe that the blogosphere functions as a democracy because there is too often such a rush to shut down debate and discussion. Consequently I hold no hope that what you see on the ‘net is reflective of the diversity that we may glimpse in our real world lives, if we choose to catch those glimpses and embrace it whole heartedly.
However I do believe, that even with these problems, the absence of the blogosphere would be a very real threat to democracy if the sharing of information across all kinds of lines. It is a conundrum that I think is worthy of further exploration, and I for one, would love to know more about the kind of work you are doing.
Best Pink