this woman’s work

Three new questions up over at Open Adoption Support!!! Questions include: advice for an expectant mom thinking about placement, how to manage holidays and adopting older kids from foster care.

Also, got word that my panel proposal for the American Adoption Congress conference in Cleveland next spring is a go!

Open Adoption: Promises and Truth

Sunday, April 26th 2009

8:45am to 10am

I’m working to line up some fab women (who perhaps you might know! I’m just sayin’!) to share their stories of living open adoption as first and adoptive parents, talking about their expectations before the adoption and the real life challenges and of course the need for more open adoption support.

Once I know for sure who will be there (I have fairly firm yeses from two) I’ll let y’all know.

I’ve been on the hunt for an agent but not talking about it here because I didn’t think any agent would appreciate being live-blogged but I’m going to go ahead and talk about it now.

I got the names of several agents through editor/writer friends and decided to just run through the list. I’ve made it through four now and think I’ll stop. This was the feedback:

• First agent had no comment about the proposal but said a couple of snide things about open adoption. Obviously she passed on the project.
• Second agent LOVED the project, thought it was terrific but also thought it would end up on parenting shelves and this is not really what he represents. He was very encouraging and gave me the names of four other agents who have represented complementary projects. Note: these weren’t referrals but still, his response made me happy.
• Third agent sent a form rejection.
• Fourth agent wrote me several times over the course of the last month or so expressing excitement over the project and letting me know that it’d gotten over each hurdle. Last response came on Monday: they really love the proposal and think it has legs. BUT. It’s a memoir. They think I need to write the whole book before they can pitch it. If I’m willing to do that, I should get back to them. (In other words, there’s no guarantee that writing the whole book will get them as my agent but it will help.)

And this is probably true. I probably do need to write the whole book. Yes, people get book deals on a narrative, memoir-ish book without writing the whole book first but it’s a harder sell.

I’m processing this need to write the whole book. I was wringing my hands about it when I got the letter. (Ok, actually I was crying.) I don’t exactly have a lot of spare time to write a book because of this whole need to pay the bills thing but then who does? I know a lot of writers and most of them are writing books they don’t have time to write. I mean, it’s not impossible. And it might be fun. So I’m feeling better about it.

I figure I’ll work on the book and maybe look for markets to place some of the chapters as I go. I’m thinking smaller lit magazines to cement a stronger creative nonfiction reputation. I want a respectable career that lasts. I can always make money writing about socks for fashion purveyors so I’m less worried about trying to make money in my creative writing life. Yes, it’d be nice but for the kind of career I want, it’s not really about money.

I thought about going to the next name on the list of agents I’ve still got sitting here but I’m going to try this on now. I’m going to try writing some more. It makes me alternately excited and exhausted to think about it. I’ll let you know how it goes.