Good things
Oct 10, 2008 Friends
Watching Abby’s kids is easier than watching just my two because they’re keeping each other entertained. Thanks Abby! Thanks for loaning your kids and thanks for volunteering to make Obama our next president by helping out at the rally!!!
I used to think I couldn’t even bother to try to make friends with Abby because our kids didn’t match up right. See, when it comes to parent-friends, if your kids don’t match up right it’s not worth hanging out because the kids will just clash and make the grown-ups miserable. Abby’s daughters are two years younger than Noah and her youngest daughter is a year older than Madison. Age and gender, I assumed, would keep us apart.
But! Fortunately boys mature later than girls and Noah has never been hung up on gender as a prerequisite to friendship so eventually the big kids discovered each other and lo! A friendship was born. I believe video games is what brought them together but maybe it was Neopets. I can’t really remember.
Anyway, they are bestest friends now and Noah’s day isn’t complete without at least one speaker phone call with them.
Then Maya, her youngest, is willing to play with Madison (even though Maya is more mature — she is, I’m not being facetious) so that means both our big kids and our little kids happily playdate, which means the moms can playdate, too! Oh joy!
Now Kristen, I’ve know her for 11 years now — she was my La Leche League leader. I was at the first meeting she led solo (I remember they gave her a mug filled with chocolate to honor her new leaderhood the day I came). Her oldest, Jake, was then her only and he was two. I remember this because she said, “This is my son, Jake. He’s two and he is all of that!” meaning that he was the two-est two he could be. (This was true! Jake has always been the most Jake-est that he could be!) Noah was about eight months old. So there, too, I thought, well, I love Kristen and we’ll be friends but I won’t see much of her because our kids don’t match up right.
When Molly was born two years later, they still didn’t match but then Ginger came along about six weeks after Madison’s arrival and our daily friendship was cemented! And as it happens, the boys mature late thing works for us there, too, because Noah likes hanging with Molly now, which is something that didn’t happen until they both his these tween years. (I mean, they’ve known each other all of their lives but it’s only been this summer that Molly and Noah have had anything to say to each other and now they’ll happily spend the afternoon just hanging out.)
Becca asked where this spate of socializing came from and I wrote her back and explained it so I thought I’d explain it here. Although Thursday has always been Thursday because that’s when homeschool gym is and so there’s a lot of meeting up at parks after or trading kids or carpooling. And before THAT we used to have a rotating playdate at people’s houses and that happened to be on Thursdays, too.
I guess Thursdays are just my days. (And I like Thursday, too, because of the T and the R, which make it a nice purpley-green color in some stable but friendly serif font.)
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Just a tad gloomy
Sep 8, 2008 The Story of My Life
I’m fighting a low-grade depression with bouts of full-fledged anxiety and have been for the past few weeks. Some days are better than others and some evenings are downright swell. But this is an afternoon of mumbling melancholy. This makes it hard to write.
Of course I haven’t been writing much of anything lately unless you count blog posts and client communications (I don’t count them) and this has a lot to do with my bad mood. The new (to me) elliptical trainer helps. Thursday night potlucks help. Kids in general help (except when they’re hanging on me when I’m trying to read or pounding on the bathroom door while I’m trying to take a bath or fighting with each other when I’m on the elliptical trainer and I have to take my iPod earbuds out and scream back at them as best as I can considering I’m a little out of breath and all). But except for those times, the kids are a bright spot to the day. Same goes for their father — generally bright spot — although he also has his moments. (Don’t we all.)
I must be having my midlife crisis because I spend a lot of time thinking about the things I should have done and the things I wish I’d done and the things I better have left undone. This is coinciding with similar feelings from Brett so sometimes in the evening — now that we gave up cable — we play regret roulette; basically spinning our wheels and mourning our choices.
It would be nice to get through this personal growth time, (which is how I tend to think of these downward spirals) and get onto the next phase of living my life. But I’m waiting for some things to resolve and a bunch of those things are out of my control. So I’m waiting. Fidgeting. Feeling sad and scuffling around the house.
Lemme tell you, the state of politics isn’t helping any.
I’m feeling very woe is me.
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Tags: anxiety, Brett, elliptical trainer, kids, potluck, REGRET, sad, Writing
Gone all day today
Aug 19, 2008 work work work
Came home to 109 blog posts in my reader. Yikes. Luckily my inbox wasn’t as bad because I checked in all day in my iPod. God bless the iPod Touch.
Got to talk to Julia tonight after a long, long time. Way too long. Life is better with Julia in it!!!
Tomorrow isn’t as busy. I’m getting started on a client project that’s been waiting on some info and I need to prepare for a workshop I’m giving Thursday morning and a training I’m leading Thursday afternoon. Also I have an interview thingie in the morning. Then Thursday potluck!!! Then Friday will be quieter ’til late afternoon when I’ve got a phone conference then Madison has her first soccer practice and I think there’s dinner with friends (not sure about that part). But! Still quieter because at least tomorrow I don’t have to leave the house at all on Wednesday and not until late on Friday.
I got a great pep talk from my dad this afternoon after my meeting. He helped me focus on how to do some things I wanted to do but wasn’t sure how.
Sometimes there are lights at the end of tunnels!
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Tags: blog, client, interview, iPod touch, Julia, my dad, phone, potluck, Thursday, work, Workshop
Back in the saddle
Jun 13, 2008 Friends
I’m back on-site today. Usually I don’t go in this much but there’s a serious push to finish the project and I am nothing if not a pleasure to work with — flexible, reasonable and cheerful about putting on work clothes to come in and do another bang-up job for my clients. (Note to possible future employers.)
Last night was our regular Thursday get-together only it was at my house and I was severely lacking forks. This woke me in the middle of the night when I went, “Oh god, why did I not find a way to get more forks?” But these people — they have all of these kids and I forget that kids need forks, too.
Turns out we women-folk all have the same mothers so we discussed that and traded mom stories. Abby has the best perspective and I’ve decided to defer to her in all things boundary related. She says she’s just had the most therapy but I don’t know; I’ve had a lot of therapy, too, and I’m not as smart as she is. And I have some years on her so you’d think I’d be more together by now.
There’s something else I’m trying to work on now, which is divorcing my actions from the hoped-for results. In other words, I’m trying to do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do instead of because I’m hoping it will make this other thing happen. It sounds so simple but I catch myself always thinking, “How can I put this in a way that will make them want to help? If I share it now instead of later, will it make them do it the way I want them to?”
Next up: Ceasing to hold people responsible for not being psychic and not acting the way I expected/hoped for/wanted. I feel like it’s awfully easy for me to store up a lot of little hurts over unintentional lapses. (And I sure hope that the forkless few at the gathering last night will be able to extend the same courtesy to me. Sorry, Joe, with the wee crab fork that I didn’t even know was a crab fork but thought it was just a fork that Madison decided would be hers because it’s baby-sized!)
I was avoiding a situation for a long time because I wanted a good outcome but avoiding was making things worse. Turns out that even when I made myself take action that the outcome wasn’t so good but at least it was — I think — what it had to be. I don’t know. But I’m trying to let go of any residual hurt and see the situation for what it is instead of what I wanted it to be.
Ahh well.
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Tags: abby, client, Friends, kids, Kristen, LLL, on-site, potluck
