When your “yes” means nothing
Jul 31, 2008 Adoption
This is something I just learned.
Let’s say you’re an adoptee born in the no-man’s land between 1964 and 1996. (When “Adoption Records are Sealed and Only Opened by a Court Order” thanks to H.B. 84.) Let’s say you contact the adoption professional who oversaw your adoption and give him/her written permission to share your identifying information with your first parents. Let’s say that your first parents have also met with this adoption professional and have also given him/her written permission to share their identifying information with you. Can the adoption professional share said information now that s/he has the two signed release of information documents? No. No.
Your consent doesn’t matter because it’s all about the court order.
Some of the arguments I’ve heard about not opening records is that it wouldn’t be fair to the people at the other end of the search (I don’t buy this but there — that’s one of the arguments). But in Ohio, the government is so worried about “protecting” people separated by adoption that even when everyone WANTS to find each other, Ohio says no.
Now the adoption professional certainly could blow off the law and hand the info over but then said adoption professional is at risk of getting his/her license revoked if someone gets angry at them for breaking the law. Given how emotional adoption discussion tends to be, it’s not beyond comprehension that some angry person might get said professional in trouble if they got wind of these mututal consent reunions.
So you get a court order, right? Or at least you try. Only if you talk to adoptees who have tried to get court orders, they will tell you about judges who say, “I’m holding your original birth certificate right here and I’m not giving it to you. Do you know why? Because you have no right to betray your real parents like this.” Or they say, “You should be grateful that you’ve had a home with loving parents and you should let the past lie.” (I know — it’s insane but it’s true. It all depends on what judge you get.)*
Anyway, I just learned this (I thought mutual written consent superceded the law) and thought I’d share.
*If your first parent or a biological sibling also goes to the court then the two of you might be able to hook up. But you can’t just hook up in your old lawyer’s office unless s/he wants to risk their law license.
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Tags: adoptee rights, adoption records, adoption reform, birth parent rights, open records
Miss Oklahoma is one of the good guys
Jun 11, 2008 Adoption
When Kelsey Cartwright’s father wanted to learn about his biological parents, he learned the papers that would tell him who had put him up for adoption were sealed from his eyes.
“We worked for a few years to get it open,” Cartwright said Sunday, a day after being crowned Miss Oklahoma at the 36th annual scholarship pageant in Tulsa.
Cartwright said she will use her father’s experience during her yearlong reign as she promotes open adoptions during appearances at schools and before civic groups across the state.Cartwright, the 20-year-old daughter of William and Kelli Cartwright, said her father’s search for his past was confusing and frustrating.
“You never know what to do next,” said Cartwright, of Collinsville. Oklahoma has closed adoption laws and procedural and legal barriers keep adoption records sealed — even from adopted individuals who want to know the truth about their biological parents and their own heritage, she said.
“You’re stuck with that. But there are steps you can take to get your file open,” Cartwright said.
Read more here.
I’m not much for beauty pageants but this year I’m rooting for Miss Oklahoma.
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Tags: adoption legislation, adoption records, adoption reform, kelsey cartwright, miss oklahoma, open adoption, open records
HB 7 open records shot down
May 9, 2008 Adoption
The open records language has been removed from HB 7. This is despite moving testimony supporting the right of adopted people to have copies of their original birth certificates and absolutely no testimony against it. That’s right — Ohio’s elected public officials rate the concerns of imaginary people over the concerns of those folks who actually exist, actually vote and get in their cars and take the time to testify.
By refusing to grant access to this basic human right of a non-falsified document that the rest of us non-adopted people can freely take for granted, the Ohio house health committee says this:
- Adoptees are perpetual children who need to be protected from their curiosity about their shameful births.
- Adoptees should be unduly grateful to the people who take them in since everyone knows that adopted kids are damaged goods.
- Birth families are disposable and inconsequential.
- Yet birth families must be protected from the prying eyes of their adopted away relatives.
If you are not adopted, the friend or family member of an adopted person, a birth family member or the friend or family of a birth family member you need to know that this says something about the way the Ohio house health committee thinks of you, too.
They are saying that basic civil rights are conditional; that the government should have more control over the very truth of your existence than you should; that unexpected pregnancies and the women who have them are shameful; and that the government isn’t here to protect your rights but to shield you regardless of your wants and wishes.
In other words? We should all be concerned.
Join Buckeyes for Equal Access (or your state’s equivalent) to learn who you should contact to let them know that EVERYONE — not just the non-adopted — has a right to his or her true, unmodified, unfalsified birth certificate.
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Tags: adoptee rights, Adoption, adoption reform, bastard nation, HB 7, ohio HB 7, open records
Don’t let the bill die!!!
Apr 29, 2008 Adoption
From Marley:
Another hearing for Sub HB 7 is scheduled for the House Health Committee tomorrow at 4 PM in Room 017 of the Ohio State House. l We need further testimony in support of returning obc access to the bill, which was recently stripped of all access language. All reference to access was removed, although no public testimony was given against obc access.
We specifically need testimony from Ohio bmothers and adoptees from the sealed and secret years 1964-1996.
Please take a minute to write letters to the committee, submit testimony to Kara Joseph for distribution to the committee. If possible, please come to the Statehouse to testify in person–or just give us support. The Health Committee needs to see that Ohioans support adoptee rights!
See last week’s action alert for details of tomorrow’s hearing: http://bastardette.blogspot.com/2008/04/betsie-norris-from-adoption-network.htm
Go here for talking points. http://bastardette.blogspot.com/2008/04/ohio-buckeys-for-equal-access-action.html
Also see the BEA page for background and lots of links about Ohio adoptee rights (or lack thereof) : http://www.myspace.com/beaohio
Due to opposition leader Matt Huffman’ extreme animosity towards me, (I didn’t do anything to him–really!) it is counter productive for me to testify before the committee. Submitted testimony is just about finished for Buckeyes for Equal Access. Unfortunately, most of our members are not in the Columbus are and cannot come to the hearing. If someone could read it person, it would be greatly appreciated. I will be at the hearing, however, and will be available for questions.
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Tags: adoption. hb 7, open records
More things that make me cry
Apr 24, 2008 Adoption
Many birthmothers historically have had little to no agency in the outcome of their pregnancies. The very notion that my aunts freely chose legal anonymity in the 1980’s is fairly ludicrous. Closed adoption was the only option- legally, socially and certainly within the context of my large Catholic family. Women like my aunts were rarely given the opportunity to acknowledge their pregnancies let alone acknowledge the impact of adoption on their lives.
Almost two decades after my aunts placed my cousins for adoption, I too faced the same social stigma as a young, pregnant teen, and I continue to shoulder the difficult stigma of birth-motherhood.
This is part of the testimony of an amazing woman who I have been fortunate enough to know. Please please go read the rest at Marley’s blog.
It’s been a rough emotional day for a lot of reasons but it’s good to know that there are so many amazing people on the planet and that I get to number some of them (all of you) as ones who make my small life better.