Thanks to all who weighed in (on blog and off) about grad school. It’s kind of a moot point since I’m not in a position to go for a fellowship right now (because I still need to make money) and I wouldn’t go to grad school if I had to pay for it. But it’s a maybe someday kind of thing. Hearing that I may not need that degree to do what I want was encouraging. I know that if my book sells that this will go a long way to building my career, which is one reason I want to write it. I want to get to the next stage in my life as a writer and I feel like having a book is the next stage. I’m not thinking much beyond this proposal (because I want to revel in the experience of having one out) but I am thinking about what I can be doing to support that proposal (and my interest in adoption) and help me grow into other projects if that book doesn’t sell.
Here’s some stuff in my head right now:
- Brett’s doing the taxes and I made more than I thought last year. Although I was technically full-time freelance, I was really working part-time and I made a very nice income for a part-time worker. That made me feel much better about things. What hurt us was that when I went full-time in 2007, I wasn’t making enough at all and we ran through the cushion we’d built to support us while I got things up and running. Then when clients paid out late in 2008, we had no cushion and went into debt and I didn’t make enough to pay ourselves and pay back that debt so Brett had to go to work. But I was short by much less than I thought — we are not as bad off as I feared.
- I had coffee with Alicia who had encouragement and good advice about doing workshops. She knows whereof she speaks since she gave me my first workshop gig. I left our meeting more excited!
- In my continuing critique of the past year, I realized that all of my jobs came via networking. ALL OF THEM. None came from marketing/cold calling/warm calling. So I’m going to work on developing my connections and let word-of-mouth bring me work. In other words, I’m going to fret less and trust more (having Brett at work to pay the regular bills gives me the freedom to do this). And with the cushion that is Brett, I won’t take work that I don’t want this year.
- Some of last year’s mistakes were necessary so that I could figure out what I was doing, like joining too many networking groups because I bought into the “it’s a numbers game” message even though I don’t like networking. I’m good at relationships and I’ve done better by focusing on relationships and easing up on the glad-handing strangers. Lesson learned. Of course I had to spend a lot of money and time to find it out and because I’d invested so much money and time, it took me longer than it should. (I kept trying to make it work, going to lunches and brunches and coffees and spending a lot of money on business cards that I gave away and that only got me on other people’s pitch lists.)
I have not, by any stretch, closed shop. I’m still here slugging away but having Brett bring home a paycheck is giving me room to put to work what I learned in the past year.
I am very grateful to Brett. (I should probably tell him that.)
Now that 2008 is over, I will say cautiously that it was a good year, even the terrible last quarter. Because sometimes a person has to fall flat on her face to look back and see what was tripping her up.
I am feeling very hopeful.
(Seriously — having that number there in black and white and knowing that I earned it on my own, flying free has gone a long way to making me feel better about it all.)
I’m headed out to the Dames Bond end-of-the-year celebration tonight. I love Mary B and I always love the Dames Bond meetings. She’s done such a terrific job of infusing the group with her warmth and generosity! I’ve made some great professional and personal connections there (including Katawi; MotoMedics; Cindy Dunigan, whose new site will debut around the new year; Brenda Direen and it’s where I first met Liz Lessner) but the real value has been the supportive spirit and camaraderie that makes every meeting a pleasure.
You guys know that in-person networking can be hard for me but Dames Bond is the exception to my rule!
I think tonight there’s gonna be some torch singing, too, which my jazz-centric, showtunes-loving heart adores. I just need to figure out what I’m going to throw into the raffle!
I’m not writing lately. I had a minor breakdown about it yesterday (to Brett’s exhausted distress). But there isn’t any time. Between work and life (you know, feeding and clothing and otherwise making sure people are able to walk around upright) there really isn’t time. Or space in my head.
- Our cable is gone so I’m not watching television.
- The election is over so I’m not obsessed with political blogs.
- I AM trying to get back with my exercise routine but I figure that’s not negotiable seeing as how if I drop dead from a heart attack there won’t be any writing anyway so I probably should try to get and then stay fit.
- I’m neglecting the kids about as much as I feel comfortable with in order to get the work and working out done.
Oh I don’t want to do this — list the reasons I haven’t been writing. I wanted to whine about NOT writing. Because I’m not. And I’m frustrated.
Here’s the more positive part of it — I’m back in touch with some of my writing friends who went missing when their own busy lives took over and I’m meeting some new ones. I’ve got a writers event to go to on Wednesday (thank you Lia!), which I’m really looking forward to and hopefully the peer pressure will do me good.
For me, a lot of writing is a head game. I can find time even when there isn’t any when I have time to think. I’ve been jacking up my work efforts so much that all writing thoughts tumbled right out of my mind. Brett says I should pull back on the networking/marketing a little bit and focus on writing but damn, it’s hard to do. I get worried that I won’t be able to make my financial goals and the holidays are staring at me with their greedy little eyes. (Not to mention Noah’s birthday just a month after.)
Oh me of little faith!!
Thanks to Susan and Phoenix Rising who shared some links with me to share with you:
Queers United: Listing of Prop 8 Protests and Rallies
Join the Impact (their twitter) Columbus doesn’t have a listing yet but I’m keeping an ear out. I’ll be seeing someone from Stonewall Columbus on Wednesday (I think) so I’ll ask her about it.
No on 8 has far-reaching social media presence
Also Mormons Stole Our Rights and Gay Marriage for All!
Yesterday we homeschoolers headed out to a Wexner Center school program for the Frog Bride. Afterwards the performers had a Q&A session and the kids asked lots of great questions (Noah wondered why there was only one actor in the show). Me, I wanted to know how in the hell those guys make a living and if it’s a real living or one where they still need to borrow money from their parents.
When I did that talk at the GCAC, I told the artists that they need to become their own patrons. The way I see it, people who get to live purely creative lives are few and far between and PARENTS (particularly mothers) who get to live them are even fewer. But many of us can live partially creative lives if we play our cards right. I mean, I’d rather sit around all day and think deep thoughts and write those deep thoughts down then stare at my page and sigh and go daydream for awhile and then come back and edit before I go back to staring into the middle distance. Unfortunately I have to make a living and I also have to wipe tushies, buy groceries, yell at people who leave their soccer shoes in the middle of the kitchen floor, discuss the merits of High School Musical II vs. High School Musical I and otherwise live my life outside of my head most of the time.
I have been itching lately to write but life has conspired against me. Having lots of work is a blessing even if it’s a creative curse and in this economy I’m grateful for my over-scheduled calendar even if it means I’m feeling a little run ragged. So it goes.
I’ll admit that I was feeling jealous of that guy hopping around the stage like a Frog Bride and jealous of the musicians accompanying him but I was also feeling inspired.
What I told the GCAC crowd is that creatives are good at finding creative solutions, right? We can find inspiration in odd places (like catalog copy or writing up a brochure) and we can also build skills when we stretch our corporate muscles. Plus we’re driven enough that we manage to squeeze the good stuff in around the mundane details of actual in real life living.
At least that’s what I tell myself when I’m cursing my calendar but blessing my billing. There’s time for everything if I’m willing to work in fits and starts. (And neglect the children some — they don’t mind. It means more television for them!)
But this freelancing I’ve been doing, I’ve learned a lot that’s benefitted my creative career not the least is to find opportunity and (important part) be willing to reach out and grab it. I’ve also learned a lot about marketing, a lot about networking and reminded myself of how much I enjoy public speaking and direct service with clients. To grow myself professionally I’ve had to stretch myself personally and since a creative career is a career (meaning I’ve never wanted to be Emily Dickinson) what I’m getting out of this less creative one has so far served me well in other ways.
Anyway. This is a buck myself up post because I’m itching to write this one essay and just haven’t had the time AT ALL and am looking at more work coming down the pike.
