I know they say (they being the kind of experts that women’s magazines interview) that multitasking makes you less effective but I don’t know if I buy it. I do know it makes a person feel crazy because I spend most of my life multitasking. Right now I have eight applications open on my desktop — all with projects in progress — and that’s my reality (often have more, rarely have less). I’m typing this, Madison is talking to me (hold on while I answer her) and I’ve got dinner in the oven and a load of laundry in the dryer. When I’m done typing this, I’ll go back to juggling several online and offline conversations, work on several open documents and listen for the timer to go off to tell me to go flip the turkey burgers.

I know this isn’t unusual. I know that’s work in modern America.

Problem is, by the end of the day my head hurts. (Although this could be because I need new glasses.) And even when I’m not actually doing several things at once, I am thinking about several thing at once. Freelance jobs, volunteer duties, kid demands, marriage requirements, friendship obligations and regular old work. Sound familiar? Thought so.

My imaginary internet boyfriend Jay Smooth had this terrific New Year’s Resolution:

Spend as much time as possible doing one thing at a time.

I’m tempted to steal it except that I’m not sure if I could do it. If I didn’t do a zillion thing at once, how would I get it all done?

What I am working on is not working when I’m not working. If I’m reading a book, I try to be reading that book and not worrying about work. If I’m listening to the kids, I try to be listening and not planning my work to-do list. So far this has been ridiculously difficult.

I know that work too much. If I see a little spot in my day or a little space in my brain, I volunteer to do something outside of my job. This isn’t always the smartest thing I could do because my job is plenty. So I’m trying to cut back and say no to things even things that sound great and fun and awesome. Operative word here is trying. Trying means sometimes failing and I’m still practicing. Eventually I might get good at it but not yet. Right now I’m pretty bad at it.

But the other part of it is that I like work. I like problem-solving and planning and I adore my kids but when Noah starts talking about the relative merits of his new handheld PSP versus some other gaming system or Madison sits me down to watch her perform her acrobatic ballet in three parts, my mind wanders. It takes tremendous effort not to start thinking about the people I need to interview for an assignment or a marketing plan I can’t wait to get back to but I keep trying. I keep on trying.

From Jackie by way of 11D:

What dream jobs have you considered but never actually pursued? And second questions: what jobs have people said you should have, but you never did?

My dream jobs all fall under three categories: Writer, teacher or counselor. And in some way shape or form, I’ve dabbled in all three.

• Obviously writer has always been central (as a kid up until college I wrote fiction and poetry; in my first post-college job I wrote grants and training manuals; once I became a stay-at-home mom I started writing essays and service; then I started writing corporate stuff, too.)
• Teaching is something I picked up at about six, deciding to teach the preschoolers in the neighborhood to read. I made a lesson plan then gathered them up and brought them to my house where they ignored me and played with my Putt-Putt Train Set instead. Now I’m content to give workshops and would like to do more of them.
• About every three or four years I think about going to grad school for my MSW but am brought back to reality by the salaries earned by MSWs but I loved working at the shelter. I sometimes catch myself thinking that being a therapist might give me more time to write (only I think it would suck this introvert’s energy dry).

Other than wild pipe dreams like Broadway superstar, I haven’t seriously considered other jobs. And I can’t sing so that puts the Broadway thing on the back burner.

Jobs other people have told me I should do are, not surprisingly, journalist, teacher and therapist. I guess I’m all obvious like that. Oh and my mom said I should be a lawyer because I love to argue. After taking a class on the talmud, I can see how arguing about the law would be fun but I was never interested in it as a career.

I can’t decide if I’m boring or impressively aware of my strengths and interests but I guess I don’t care. I do know that writing is the most important thing for me but still struggle to figure out the life that will let me do the most of that. I think that will be a life-long struggle and honestly I think the struggling is the point and that plateaus are for sissies. (And trust fund babies — lucky trust fund babies!) (I don’t mean it about the sissy part. I just tell myself that to stave off the bitterness.)

Now my first coffee is in my gullet and I need to fire up the crockpot, put on my tights and head out the door. It’s Monday, which means it’s an on-site work day.

Thanks to all who weighed in (on blog and off) about grad school. It’s kind of a moot point since I’m not in a position to go for a fellowship right now (because I still need to make money) and I wouldn’t go to grad school if I had to pay for it. But it’s a maybe someday kind of thing. Hearing that I may not need that degree to do what I want was encouraging. I know that if my book sells that this will go a long way to building my career, which is one reason I want to write it. I want to get to the next stage in my life as a writer and I feel like having a book is the next stage. I’m not thinking much beyond this proposal (because I want to revel in the experience of having one out) but I am thinking about what I can be doing to support that proposal (and my interest in adoption) and help me grow into other projects if that book doesn’t sell.

Here’s some stuff in my head right now:

1. Brett’s doing the taxes and I made more than I thought last year. Although I was technically full-time freelance, I was really working part-time and I made a very nice income for a part-time worker. That made me feel much better about things. What hurt us was that when I went full-time in 2007, I wasn’t making enough at all and we ran through the cushion we’d built to support us while I got things up and running. Then when clients paid out late in 2008, we had no cushion and went into debt and I didn’t make enough to pay ourselves and pay back that debt so Brett had to go to work. But I was short by much less than I thought — we are not as bad off as I feared.
2. I had coffee with Alicia who had encouragement and good advice about doing workshops. She knows whereof she speaks since she gave me my first workshop gig. I left our meeting more excited!
3. In my continuing critique of the past year, I realized that all of my jobs came via networking. ALL OF THEM. None came from marketing/cold calling/warm calling. So I’m going to work on developing my connections and let word-of-mouth bring me work. In other words, I’m going to fret less and trust more (having Brett at work to pay the regular bills gives me the freedom to do this). And with the cushion that is Brett, I won’t take work that I don’t want this year.
4. Some of last year’s mistakes were necessary so that I could figure out what I was doing, like joining too many networking groups because I bought into the “it’s a numbers game” message even though I don’t like networking. I’m good at relationships and I’ve done better by focusing on relationships and easing up on the glad-handing strangers. Lesson learned. Of course I had to spend a lot of money and time to find it out and because I’d invested so much money and time, it took me longer than it should. (I kept trying to make it work, going to lunches and brunches and coffees and spending a lot of money on business cards that I gave away and that only got me on other people’s pitch lists.)

I have not, by any stretch, closed shop. I’m still here slugging away but having Brett bring home a paycheck is giving me room to put to work what I learned in the past year.

I am very grateful to Brett. (I should probably tell him that.)

Now that 2008 is over, I will say cautiously that it was a good year, even the terrible last quarter. Because sometimes a person has to fall flat on her face to look back and see what was tripping her up.

I am feeling very hopeful.

(Seriously — having that number there in black and white and knowing that I earned it on my own, flying free has gone a long way to making me feel better about it all.)

An awful lot of ‘em clash with 2.5 so if you don’t want to upgrade yet, don’t. Give the design people some time to catch up. I went through three or four here before settling on this one (having trouble with widgets in some of them) and this one seems wonky with pictures.

I also redesigned Smart Cookie Communications to leave out some of the sales-y stuff because I’m down on the sales-y stuff right now. I had a blog on there but am too busy to keep it up so I squelched it. Now to a list entry:

1. I know I said I’d post the results of the survey YESTERDAY but I want to try to figure out a helpful way to share the information and haven’t come up with it yet.
2. Brett got a part-time job today. We want a predictable amount of money coming in to ease our budget and decided this is the way to go. The biggest challenge will be working around our one-car status and also if he works nights, that cuts back on my networking at night. But that’s why God created relatives (i.e., free babysitters). And it gives me an excuse to cut back on networking. Heh. (Plus his hours will be flexible.)
3. Being in Portland reminded me of how active we used to be. The day before I went into labor with Noah I walked three miles to go see a movie and visit Trader Joe’s. (1.5 miles each way.) We lived on the third floor, too, and I thought nothing of it. No wonder I put on weight very quickly when we moved back! It inspired me to get my exercise regime back on track. And to work on using our car less.
4. My sister and I spent this morning chatting on the phone and debunking family myths. This is probably the most useful thing about having siblings; Brett and his brother did the same thing during our visit. My sister is a big-hearted person and the family myths hit her harder than they seem to have hit me. I don’t know why it is — she worries more and feels more responsible than I do and this makes her a lovely relative to have but is an awful lot of pain for her. Maybe it’s a birth order thing. (Brett — also the oldest — feels the same way about a lot of it.)
5. I also want to find time to write about other people’s marriages/partnerships because I find them fascinating. Don’t you? Isn’t it weird how people end up together and stay (or don’t) together?
6. Madison is at a mommy (or in this case, daddy and big brother) & me gym class today. It’s free so heck, we signed her up. She would only go if Noah came, too, and he was game so off they went. She’s wearing a pink undershirt that she calls a ballet shirt because it’s sleeveless and a brown and yellow striped skort that she got from Karoline. She looks cute and mis-matchy. I hope she has a good time.
7. Tonight my friends Kristen and Abby are taking me out for helping them with their blogs! I’m going to order the most expensive thing on the menu because they’ve been a lot of work! (Especially that Kristen!) I kid. I don’t even like the most expensive thing on the menu. On principle, I can’t. I’m like that. You guys know how I am about money. It’s sad.