this woman’s work

I didn’t think we’d get in, honestly. I didn’t realize the venue was as big as it was and I figured we’d never get in. See, when they said they were holding the rally at a high school stadium, I was picturing the kind of high school stadium where I went to Friday football games with rickety wooden bleachers and a shaky chainlink fence around the field. Apparently high school has changed a lot since I was a kid because this stadium reportedly holds 20,000 people and is sturdy enough that when thousands of people start stamping their feet on the metal benches the edifice doesn’t even shiver.

Kristen made t-shirts (it was Abby’s idea) so we’d all be matchy-matchy with great big Obama symbols on our chest and red and blue stars (the t-shirts were white, natch). We decided to bring the middle kids (Noah, Lena, Liberty and Molly) because the big kid (Jake) had better things to do and we knew the little ones wouldn’t last.*

Kristen and Abby, being much more organized about these things than I am, decided to treat it like tailgating so they packed up a couple of coolers, a big bag of homemade popcorn, two big jugs of ice water and a bag of candy. Oh and homemade chai (Martha Stewart has nothing on Kristen, which if you read her blog you already know). She also wrote Obama 08 on her van, which got us some thumbs up on the freeway.

We got a good parking spot then took our place in line. The kids huddled up under shade trees with their Nintendo DS games and a good helping of the food. We chatted with some folks we know and haven’t seen forever then started making friends with the rest of the people in line with us. Some people came over and took pics of the kids in their matching t-shirts and there was a lot of that spontaneous friend-making that happens in a crowd before an event only better since there was also that team-spirit feeling.

We waited about six hours. We got there at 12:30 and the speeches started at around 6:30. We were inline for about four hours and then the rest of the time we were in the stadium. That sounds awful, right? Hot sun, crowds, uncomfortable seating but it was great. In some ways it was the best part. (Kristen said it felt like a Dead show only without all the drugs.) We chatted with people and laughed and shared out some of the chai. We signed a petition and chewed on ice cubes and Kristen took a ton of pictures. Once we got in the stadium (Noah set off the metal detector become of some hardware in his pants, but he took it in stride) we ate chik-filet and laughed some more with neighbors. We had good seats — about 13 rows up with a view of the whole filled-up stadium. We watched the lines still stretched back to the parking lot and watched the volunteers scramble with a new game plan because they didn’t expect that many people. We saw one of our new line-friends get picked to be up on the stage (he didn’t even have the yellow ticket you needed to get an insider view — he got handed one at random) and felt like one of our “own” got the nod!

Then a huge — I mean HUGE — praying mantis flew into our rows and everyone jumped and scattered while it flew into one woman’s hair and onto another woman’s arm. It landed for a brief second on Noah’s leg then leapt to the woman in front of him, who calmly brushed it off and it flew away over our heads. The section whooped and clapped and the kids were grinning. (Molly said, “My mom’s gonna be so mad she missed it!” because she and Abby were out getting the chik-filet.)

Another one of Noah’s favorite parts was when the first speech started and the bleachers across the field started chanting, “We can’t hear! We can’t hear!” He thought that was great. And he was entranced by the unfortunate drama of some folks having some issues with the heat down on the field. (The field was meant to be a fairly small crowd, I think, but the overflow was huge and it ended up being a pretty daunting throng, at one point surging forward in a way that looked worrisome from our vantage.) The third time it happened Obama was speaking and he threw his water bottle into the crowd for the woman. The stadium hilariously chorused a crushed “oooh!” worthy of tweens watching Zac Efron toss a sweaty shirt towards a lucky few.

When we saw the motorcade come down the highway way out beyond the stadium we got goosebumps and our section cheered. The guy next to me asked what I thought about Palin and we grinned, all giddy with the possibility that this year we might actually win! Abby told the woman behind us that they had dillybars at the concession stand and Kristen clued someone else in on where the secret bathrooms were. Then we got the kids to stand on their benches and chant for one of the free signs. (Noah was horrified and angry at me for embarrassing him but what can I say? I got Lena and Liberty a sign!) Abby had to train the kids when to hold it up during the speeches and we got them to stamp their feet with the rest of the crowd.

We moms cheered until we were hoarse and I caught the kids smiling more than they’re likely to admit. Obama, even with a low-key speech, was terrific and genuine. I love the cadence and rhythem of his voice. Sherrod Brown, already a huge favorite of mine not least because he was smart enough to marry Connie Schultz, was also a big winner.

Afterwards the kids ran around the field to get the wriggles out and then we stopped and watched Obama’s bus drive by. (He waved at us. We swooned.) Then we got to the car and started tailgating out the back again while we waited for traffic to die. A guy offered to buy a pop off of us but Abby said no, because she hadn’t packed extra but we gave him a drink of water for free. Then it turned out our battery was dead and a lovely woman gave us a jump after Molly saved the day and found the jumper cables.

Noah said the speeches were boring and waiting in the stadium was boring. He said the best part was playing his DS in the shade, the praying mantis and stamping his feet. But then he called his friends and a couple of relatives and bragged about his day.

It was a terrific day. It was terrific to be there and see the crowds (my pictures suck but I’ll try to upload a shot of the full stadium later) and it was inspiring to be waiting with so many like-minded but wonderfully diverse (in experience, in age, in race, in income) people and feel like we were all gunning for the same thing. It was especially great having Noah and his friends there and knowing that this would be a story that would matter to them someday in ways they can’t foresee now.

*The husbands made a plan to trade off care of the little girls all day, working in shifts with big brother Jake doing some of the supervising. Madison had a good time and was very proud of herself for staying “all by herself” never mind the team of people there with her. She did fall out of the treehouse and scraped her side during Jake’s shift and reported that “he said something thoughtful,” which was apparently “Come on down” but said, and I quote again, “softly.” Then he gave them some pop. Pop, if you didn’t know, cures all evils.

But he’s on Kids Know Stuff any old way. I think they let him in because he’s kinda cute.

Today I’m taking him to WOSU’s Digital Days at COSI to help me sit and talk about blogging to any interested passerbys. See, I figure one of the advantages of working from home is that you get to involve the kids and give them an understanding of the ins and outs of the work-a-day world. I’ve noticed that Noah is much more willing to watch Madison when he gets that I do this work, I send this invoice and then (theoretically) I get paid. He comes and looks over my shoulder a lot and he at least feigns some interest in my portfolio.

I figure all of this is homeschooling, too, being involved with our work stuff.

Lately we’ve been talking to him a lot about budgeting explaining to him what we would have done differently at the start of this freelance gig with what we know now and talking to him about the long-range plans and why Brett’s at work now. He’s clearly feeling more ownership in how our family does and feeling more integral to our success. I know he’ll have his less than stellar days but this past week he’s been extremely helpful in getting the house going, Madison settled, etc. so I can finish a project or get lunch started before I have to field a call from a client. He’s very “we’re all in this together.”

Anyway. He’s a nice kid if giggly. He can’t help it. Those Lena and Liberty girls are funny — what’s a boy to do?

I can’t even tell you; it was just that bad. Today is better. It started off by getting a new client, it continued with a great phone call from one of my mentors, it went on with a well-deserved apology from my stressed but that’s no excuse husband, and right now it’s glowing with the quiet contentment of my two kids. Even though my childcare canceled (Gram Pam has a rotten stomach bug — send well wishes her way!), my late checks still aren’t showing up and I have this Great Big Hairy assignment due soon, I’m feeling a little more stable than yesterday.

Life is not easy, darn it, even when I wish it were.

There are things that make it easier. Things like friends on twitter who catch a grouchy tweet and lob it back with an offer of help. And things like friends via email who just so happen to ask how you’re doing when you really want to let loose. And another is commenters such as Cinnamon who may not like Columbus but who make great bags and turned me onto a really terrific, much needed book (The Boss of You). I wish I had this book a year and a half ago when I was just getting started!

What I love about The Boss of You is that it doesn’t assume that you’re in it to get rich, to make infromercials or to one day speak in title case To Show the World That You Are Here to Seize Control. In other words, it’s a business book for punk rockers, former and current riot grrls, crunchy granola earthmamas, feminists in sensible shoes and other women like us.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve had (and am still having to be honest) is moving around in the work-a-day world trying to grok the people who wear business clothes and speak in a language that doesn’t always make sense to me. (Although I was recently in a research study for seventy-five bucks and I said to the researcher, “I think this campaign is likely to go viral” and then “this ad copy doesn’t seem as sticky to me” so I must be picking it up somewhere.) Like all the people in marketing? They’re totally really fit. Like serious runners — marathoners, triatheletes. They have shiny eyes and friendly intensity. In fact, they make me want to have a bowl of ice cream and take a nap. I’m undone by such unbridled enthusiasm and intimidated by neatly pressed wardrobes. I’m not saying that I’m a slob but I’ve been known (as blog readers are aware) to use a stapler to fix a drooping hem and I’m prone to put off getting haircuts — the expense! — because I’d rather save that money for a rainy day.

In other words, I haven’t felt this out of place since about middle school.

Happily the people I’m meeting are much nicer than my peers in middle school so it’s not about that — it’s about learning to operate in a world that doesn’t necessarily share my values. Not like my values are all fired-up awesome or anything but they’re mine and I’m fond of them. Figuring out how to be me yet still communicate with people who are not much like me has been hard. And I don’t always do it right. Sometimes I think that’ll be the ruin of me but then books like this crop up and make it easier.

Once I was crying to Chris about this and I wailed, “But I don’t want to be a business woman!” and she shot back, “That’s because you have some crazy idea about what that means!” pointing out that maybe my prejudices were at issue and holding me back. It’s true, too, because I keep thinking I have to be my dad to be successful and while my dad has many things to teach me, I have to keep reminding myself that I can do it my own way. (I think. Yikes.)

And they know about kid stuff. My friend Abby has started a product review site powered by her kids and the stuff they know about stuff. Targeted to kids, the site has videos of product reviews and she’s going to be working out some promotional efforts in a few weeks here. Meanwhile, stop on by KidsKnowStuff.com and give ‘em a holler. Better yet, let your kids do the hollering — after all the site is for kids who know stuff!!

I finished most (not all) of my work to-do list but tomorrow is pretty open to get more done. I have a phone interview with a potential client in the afternoon but otherwise nothing scheduled so I want to crank out at least most of a big project (we want it to launch by the end of next week) so I can clear my desk to start research on another big project (also due at the end of next week).

Today is Thursday, which means Abby and Kristen are already off having a gay old time with Lynne and the kids but I’m not with ‘em ‘cuz I had work. Fortunately they took Noah (Madison didn’t mind staying behind since Brett was staying, too) since it’s the big kid who really suffers when we miss out on stuff. Brett and I are waiting for the husbands to get off work and then we’re all car pooling over there for pizza. I hope that I’ve figured out how to relax by then — I think I may just have to have a drink tonight. So there. And I think I’ll leave my cell and iPod at home. (Dare I? Oh rats. Yes. Darnit, I’m taking the night off!)

Brett asked me today what my dream job was and I said writing stuff I want to write (in a cabin in the woods and one of those fancy but not too fancy cabins, too, more like a Usonian house than Laura Ingalls) but if he means my dream job in light of a need to make money, I’d still say this is pretty close. It’s not like I spend all — or some weeks even most — of my time writing stuff that gets me all hot and bothered but it’s still writing or strategizing and talking to people who are passionate about what they want to do, all of which I like. Someday I hope to spend lots of time alone (with my family — they can come, too) in the green quiet writing essays but meanwhile this will do. Especially if there are friends with pizza and hard cider at the end of it.