Grandparents can save a person’s life
Aug 20, 2008 Family, work work work
My dad: I mentioned yesterday that my dad gave me a pep talk, which was just what I needed. My dad is a financial planner (here’s his linkedin) and he cut his teeth as a door-to-door insurance salesman. He knows from hustling and working on commission and not letting the bad days stop you cold. He knows a lot about marketing and networking and all the things I’m trying to learn. A pep talk from him includes stellar advice and encouragement.
(As some of my longertime readers know, my dad and I have had our issues. One of the latent consequences of Brett losing his job and me going out on my own this past year and a half has been to help me build a positive, nurturing and loving relationship with him. Thanks corporate lay-offs!)
My mom: I can always count on my mom to boost me up and cheer me on. She’s my biggest fan. Just knowing I can call her anytime is enough to make me not need to call her, you know? Unconditional love that I can take for granted — well, I know that’s made me the woman/mother/writer I am. PLUS! She has this fantastic elliptical machine that’s gym-quality that I’ve been nagging her to loan me for years. (She used to use it a lot but doesn’t so much these days.) I nag her out of habit now because she always rolls her eyes at me. But guess what! You guessed it! She’s loaning it to me ’til she retires (a couple years away) and that means: ENDORPHINS! Yes, my friends, a steady workout is in my future! Our own elliptical trainer is getting noisier and lumpier every time I use it, which precludes using it. Can’t get on when the kids are occupied watching tv because it’s too loud for them to hear the television. Can’t do it while they’re sleeping in the morning or after they’re in bed because it’s loud enough to wake them up (it’s just below their rooms). I get it this Sunday and I am already full of joy just thinking of it!
Brett’s parents: They’ve offered to take the kids whenever I need it and whenever their schedules allow (they’re very busy retirees). I hate to ask because I’m like that but today they called and asked — asked! — to take the kids fishing. As if I’d refuse. This is incredibly fortunate because I have a lot of work and the kids are driving each other nuts so I can’t leave them to kinda play together since I’m breaking up a lot of fights that go like this, “You’re a potato.” “Mommy! Noah called me a potato!” “Rudikins tattletale!” “Mommy! Noah called me a rudikins tattletale!” Then poking/tickling ensues or the dreaded looking in each other’s direction without being invited to look. “He’s looking at me!” “What — I can look!” “AHHH!” “Rudikines potato!” “Mommy!” etc etc etc. Clearly not a day for work.
And this is why the grandparents are at the top of “my god, you are awesome people” list. This is why we’re in Ohio and not in the beautiful Pacific Northwest!!
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Tags: babysitting, childcare, elliptical trainer, inlaws, job, kids, my dad, my inlaws, my mom, Noah, pacific northwest, work, working
Noah likes to listen
Aug 1, 2008 Parenting
Noah and I were talking about his earliest memories (he seems to start remembering things at around two — Erica, he remembers you coming over to play with him on your lunch hour and that we would talk and he’d make us doughnuts in his wooden kitchen!). He says he liked listening to us talk.
Then he remembers when I would take him to the place where I worked out and he’d stay in the childcare room. He would sit in this giant plastic soccer ball (really a toy chest) and listen to the kids playing. He says he liked to listen to the kids talk.
In preschool he would climb up into the loft and watch the other kids come in and say hello to the teacher and get settled. And later he would be the first one to arrive and the last one to leave the snack table because he liked to listen to the kids chat over their animal crackers and apple juice. More talking, more listening.
Now his favorite thing is listening to the grown-ups gossip.
“I like learning things,” he mused. “I like hearing about what people are doing and what’s going to happen to them.”
“But haven’t you noticed that we’re usually wrong?” I asked him. “We say, ‘Oh no, she better watch out…’ or ‘He’ll probably make a mint on that…’ and it turns out we don’t know what the heck we’re talking about.”
He reluctantly agreed that this was true but still sad it’s his favorite thing.
I wonder if he’ll end up doing something with this hobby. He could be a novelist or a therapist or a gossip columnist or spy. Who knows? But he sures likes to listen.
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Brett got a job!
Jul 28, 2008 Family, work work work
And in many ways it’s the perfect job because once he’s through the 7-week training he’ll go to second shift (3:30 to midnight), which means he will remain the primary caregiver when I’m working. We can have a big lunch as a family (instead of dinner) and on the days when I’m up to my neck with work, he leaves just as PBS Kids starts their afternoon programming, which means I can use the TV as my childcare during that time as women have done throughout the ages. Or at least throughout my particular age.
The two challenges are the 7-week training because it’s 9 to 5 and not worth it to go through the fight to find a decent sitter (I will cobble together childcare from family and friends so I’m not that worried — plus Noah is a good last-minute sister-wrangler) and it’s too far for him to walk/bike but not on a bus line. We may get a junker car for awhile. That’s what we did before — he had a lousy 2-door monstrosity that got great gas mileage and was just for his commute. For now likely he’ll take the van and I’ll rely on those friends and family for when I need a ride. Again this is why we moved here — there’s enough walkability that I don’t need a car most days anyway so it’s not a huge insurmountable block. I can always drive him, too, and we can take the bus to some of our homeschool stuff, which the kids will think is a treat and will remind me of Portland since that was our sole transport back then.
While I will no longer be the sole wage earner, I’ll still need to add my income to make our budget because the pay off for the flexible hours is not such great pay but we expected that. Our main goal is not to let go of our business because that has the most potential to give us the lifestyle that we want. And I have to admit that it’s nice to know that some of the heat is off of me so I won’t need to feel guilty when I’m writing something that won’t pay the bills.
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Tags: budget, business, childcare, Family, homeschool, job, work, working
We’re rearranging the house
Jul 20, 2008 The Story of My Life, work work work
I’m taking advantage of Brett’s muscle to get things moved around — tv down to the playroom, upstairs living room rearranged, etc. Since I’ll be working without childcare for at least the first few weeks of Brett’s job, I want to get it set up so the kids can be down here where I am and happily out of my hair.
I guess I hadn’t explained very well that Brett going to work doesn’t mean I’m gonna stop working — no way, no how! Because, for one, I make about as much money as he does and neither of us alone is making quite enough to keep up our lifestyle and add to savings so we’re both going to put nose to the grindstone for awhile. As my business grows we’ll reasses (it may be having less childcare will slow me down but I don’t think so because I’m going to have to spend less time marketing — Open Book Strategies is already easier to sell to folks, which is proof I’m on the right rack, I think). I will definitely need childcare but I’m going to try to get to fall when it’ll be easier to find and I think that’s doable (fall is just around the corner after all). I don’t anticipate having the same problems I had before because Madison is older now and more amenable to someone coming over to play with her while I sit at my desk. I’m figuring if I can get someone to give me some mornings, I can work and Noah can do school and then the afternoons will be fairly free barring rush jobs and overflow work (there are always evenings and weekends for that, too).
Anyway! I need to go do some heavy directing of Brett’s heavy lifting. Those boxes of books aren’t going to move themselves!!
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Tags: child care, childcare, homeschool, Homeschooling, Open Book Strategies, schedule, working from home
Are you hiring?
Jul 17, 2008 work work work
Because Brett is job hunting. That’s why I’ve been so grouchy.
On the one hand, it’s a good thing. We need to build our cushion back up after this last year of entrepreneurship broke it down; we need more savings. And more money is always a happy event because we wouldn’t mind actually finishing that bathroom we started renovating. See? That’s all good. But we’ve been struggling to see the good in it because we, of course, wanted to be rich and famous by now or at least be living off our business by now.
I still believe that we can make this work (this being our business) and be a work-at-home family just not quite yet. And we did have one great year (mostly) and I very nearly made my financial goals (I mean, I’m only a thousand bucks short for the year so far) but it’s been enough “almost” months that it’s had too big of an impact on our savings. (Not helped by our trip to Portland and the check that got “lost in the mail” for nearly two months.)
See, if you’re going to be a full-time freelance, you gotta have room for those inevitable expenses and we did but now we don’t and so! Brett to work.
It’s going to be hard on him (because he loves being at home with the kids) and on Noah & Madison (because they love having dad home with them) and on me (because I love having built-in childcare) but it’s not going to be as hard as it would have been a year ago. I mean, we have the business in place, we’ve gotten over the worst of our learning curve, we understand what it takes time and money wise, and I’ll be able to get childcare when I need it.
Anyhow, that’s the news I’ve been reluctant to share seeing as how I was hoping for a miracle. (Hey, it could still happen!) But barring said miracle, if you know anyone who’s hiring and would like to add a handsome, talented, organized, friendly man with way too much experience in insurance benefits and customer service, hit me up. Because I’ve got just the guy for you!
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Tags: Brett, business, childcare, entrepreneurship, Family, freelance, grouch, kids