this woman’s work

I can’t even tell you; it was just that bad. Today is better. It started off by getting a new client, it continued with a great phone call from one of my mentors, it went on with a well-deserved apology from my stressed but that’s no excuse husband, and right now it’s glowing with the quiet contentment of my two kids. Even though my childcare canceled (Gram Pam has a rotten stomach bug — send well wishes her way!), my late checks still aren’t showing up and I have this Great Big Hairy assignment due soon, I’m feeling a little more stable than yesterday.

Life is not easy, darn it, even when I wish it were.

There are things that make it easier. Things like friends on twitter who catch a grouchy tweet and lob it back with an offer of help. And things like friends via email who just so happen to ask how you’re doing when you really want to let loose. And another is commenters such as Cinnamon who may not like Columbus but who make great bags and turned me onto a really terrific, much needed book (The Boss of You). I wish I had this book a year and a half ago when I was just getting started!

What I love about The Boss of You is that it doesn’t assume that you’re in it to get rich, to make infromercials or to one day speak in title case To Show the World That You Are Here to Seize Control. In other words, it’s a business book for punk rockers, former and current riot grrls, crunchy granola earthmamas, feminists in sensible shoes and other women like us.

One of the biggest challenges I’ve had (and am still having to be honest) is moving around in the work-a-day world trying to grok the people who wear business clothes and speak in a language that doesn’t always make sense to me. (Although I was recently in a research study for seventy-five bucks and I said to the researcher, “I think this campaign is likely to go viral” and then “this ad copy doesn’t seem as sticky to me” so I must be picking it up somewhere.) Like all the people in marketing? They’re totally really fit. Like serious runners — marathoners, triatheletes. They have shiny eyes and friendly intensity. In fact, they make me want to have a bowl of ice cream and take a nap. I’m undone by such unbridled enthusiasm and intimidated by neatly pressed wardrobes. I’m not saying that I’m a slob but I’ve been known (as blog readers are aware) to use a stapler to fix a drooping hem and I’m prone to put off getting haircuts — the expense! — because I’d rather save that money for a rainy day.

In other words, I haven’t felt this out of place since about middle school.

Happily the people I’m meeting are much nicer than my peers in middle school so it’s not about that — it’s about learning to operate in a world that doesn’t necessarily share my values. Not like my values are all fired-up awesome or anything but they’re mine and I’m fond of them. Figuring out how to be me yet still communicate with people who are not much like me has been hard. And I don’t always do it right. Sometimes I think that’ll be the ruin of me but then books like this crop up and make it easier.

Once I was crying to Chris about this and I wailed, “But I don’t want to be a business woman!” and she shot back, “That’s because you have some crazy idea about what that means!” pointing out that maybe my prejudices were at issue and holding me back. It’s true, too, because I keep thinking I have to be my dad to be successful and while my dad has many things to teach me, I have to keep reminding myself that I can do it my own way. (I think. Yikes.)