The blogosphere is humming with bravery this morning although it makes for hard reading before breakfast. Please be careful if you click over there and either way, please take a moment to close your eyes and send Aaron some virtual peace and love.
Aren’t people amazing?
I used to not like people very much. Being a wannabe punk rocker (i.e., the hair, the bad attitude, but none of the irony — I was too young to really get irony except the self-conscious kind) it’s something of a lifestyle requirement to not like people but finally I had to admit to myself that I do.
Sometimes when I’m out and about I am suddenly struck by the realization that every single person walking by, every single person stuck at the same traffic light — they all have stories and those stories are probably pretty damn interesting. They likely have things to say that would surprise me and challenge me and make me look at them in a whole new way. And blogs are nice because they prove me right about that.
Yesterday Noah made some new friends in the neighborhood just in time for us to move. But then he was so haunted by them that he couldn’t sleep last night (shades of his mother — the poor insomniac).
The little boy was on a baseball team Noah played against this summer. He came by with his sister after seeing me taking Madison around the block on our daily constitutional. It was our first neighborhood drop-by and it both horrified Noah and made him hungry for more.
The horrifying part is that it just so happens that these kids are a wee bit pushy and Noah is not comfortable with this much — as he puts it — enthusiasm.
“Those kids were really enthusiastic,” he told me. “I’m not sure if they are quite my type.”
(Really — he said this. He seems to have been channeling an English gentlemen.)
They were nice kids but they were the kind who need a firm hostessing hand. As in, “Can we go in there? Why not? What if I just peeked in? Like this? Can’t I go in now? The door’s already open? What about tomorrow? Or the next day?” I finally sent them all to the basement (the little girl was really the most challenging because she decided to clean Madison’s room and then didn’t want Madison to mess it up, which meant that I had to keep going in there to stop Madison screaming and remind the little girl that the toys do indeed belong to Madison.)
Anyway, I eventually kicked them out and then two hours later they came back and were calling in the screens for Noah. He felt very invaded. I sent them away again with a firm reminder that it’s better to call first. (The strange children hanging on the windows sent the dog into a terrible frenzy, which woke the baby.)
Noah is both hoping they come by again and hoping they forget his address. All evening he would stop by whatever room I was in to say, “The boy was ok, didn’t you think so? It would probably be ok without his sister.” or “I just really don’t want to see them again. Probably we should move sooner.” and “I don’t think I want to make friends in my new neighborhood. I don’t like my friends to just show up; I like to be prepared.”
But this is the whole reason we want to move. Not to get away from these kids, although Noah feels this would be an added benefit, but because so far his friendships have gone pretty easy. We’ve always vetted his friends without really intending to because he’s met them at events where we have taken him. Well, except for religious school but it just so happens that the kid he hooked up with there ended up being the child of a woman I saw a few times socially.
The kids who visited yesterday? I’ve met their mom and it’s unlikely that she and I would ever hang out. If Noah chose to be friends with these kids (and they’ve certainly chosen him), it would definitely be a whole new world. From the children’s quick criticism of our home, it’s clear that theirs is a family culture that would be pretty different for Noah and different can be good.
He’s both looking forward to and dreading the inevitable next visit. I’m sure we’ll find them banging on our front door soon.
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3 Responses to “There are brave people on the internet”
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About Me
I have two kids and a delightfully odd husband, Brett. My children are Noah (born to us in 1997) and Madison (born to her first mom, Pennie, in 2004 and brought to our family through a domestic, open adoption). They are my inspiration and also the reason I don't get more done around here.
I'm a writer and sometimes I get published, which is a nice thing. I write for joy, I write for money and when I'm very lucky, both things happen at the same time. My work appears in national publications including Yoga Journal, Disney's Family.com, Utne, Wondertime, Brain Child and Salon. Currently I am working on a book about my daughter's adoption and seeking representation for the proposal. I also own Smart Cookie Communications with my husband.
Twitter:
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- Busy work because there are no holidays for the enthusiastic freelancer!
- Test fireworks going off at game. Kids are getting antsy.
- Off to the clippers
- @mombrain CONGRATULATIONS! Glad that bus finally hit you! :)
- Fresh blog: It's raining http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=3442
Kath
August 25th, 2005 at 9:33 am
That was definitly not an easy read.
You warned me. Aaron warned me.
I wish so hard that there were not stories like this.
Make that “truths” like this.
Stories implies that there is a fictional element.
It was easy to leave a supportive message though.
Kay
August 26th, 2005 at 1:58 am
Although it may actually suit Noah well, I am sad that friends need to be via organised play dates these days. When I was a kid we had kids on either side of us and more down the street.
I’m not sure at what age it was okay for us to just head next door after school - maybe older than 8? But I know Liam’s not likely to have that. Not unless we move somewhere with kids, a newer suburb, further out in the sticks, I guess.
Maybe my experience growing up was not standard anyway? But it was definitely something I miss for Liam.
cluttergirl
August 29th, 2005 at 3:05 am
hehe, well, Noah is very articulate about his taste in friends. I cannot in any way shape or form having said I liked my friends’ visits to be planned (when I was a kid, most friends were within two blocks and definitely “called” by knocking on the door and asking if we could come out to play. I remember doing dishes after supper when I was about 7, with a backyard full of kids waiting for me to come out and play… those were the days!)… but I totally loved how he put it. “Those kids were really enthusiastic. I’m not sure if they are my type”. hehe. How old is he? 53? Cute pics of both the kids.