This morning I took the kids out to the library to hook up with Tracy (for the first time and she was lovely and Madison wasn’t too grouchy but maybe just a little bit). When we set out walking there it was a beautiful winter wonderland and Madison fairly skipped her way to the library catching snowflakes on her tongue. But on the way back everything was much more difficult. It was snowing harder, the sidewalks were slipperier and the wind had picked up.

Poor Madison was tired and hungry and the snow was blowing into her face, icing up her eyelashes. It’s 3.4 miles from our house to the library (I just google-mapped it) and (Edited to add: I thought about this and decided google is wrong. I went back and checked and it is — it has the library about 2 miles away from where it is. Next time I won’t copy and paste without reading, eh?) It’s uphill coming back so there’s that, too. Plus, she’s small and that’s a long walk in the driving snow when you’re big let alone if you’re just a little girl who’s ready for her lunch.

We trudged on because, as I pointed out to her, we weren’t going to get home by standing still. Still I was cursing myself for not calling Brett from the library and having him come get us. We stopped to rest in the park for a minute, sheltered in the little kiosk at the front, and I brushed the snowflakes out of her eyes. That’s past the halfway point but still feels like a long way from home.

“C’mon,” I said as I led her back out on the sidewalk. “We are strong, courageous women! We can do this!”

She was wailing up the street, holding onto the back of my coat so I’d act as a wind-breaker.

“I don’t want to be women!” she cried. “I want to be a children!”

“Ok, I’m a strong, courageous woman and you’re my strong, courageous child and we are on our way home! We’re braving the winds!”

“You freak me out when you say womens, Mommy! I miss my Daddy! I miss my brother!”

It was really sad. I kept wishing some passing car would be a neighbor so I could have hitched a ride. But we made it! And once Madison had some lunch in her belly and was tucked up with a blanket to watch a little Thomas the Tank Engine, all was good. (I wouldn’t be surprised if she’s asleep up there right now because it was hard work getting home!)

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