Madison likes new things and new experiences. She would never take the same path if another one appeared. So it’s no surprise that upon needing a tushie wipe, she implored Brett not to use the old package and instead get out the new ones that are exactly the same but are way more exciting because they are newer. Brett said, quite sensibly, “We can’t open these new ones ’til we use up the old ones.” But then he made a fatal error.

He left the old ones within her reach and left the bathroom.

You know what happened, of course. Madison promptly used up all the old ones by dumping them into the sink, running the water and squeezing all of the soap out of them. Then she skipped into the kitchen and said, “Now we can use the new ones!”

Sensing his displeasure, she scampered after him when he stomped into the bathroom. He, upon seeing the tushie wipe carnage, said, “Oh no! Madison! Why did you do such a thing?!” (Wasn’t it obvious? But one can’t blame him for his outraged shock.)

Madison, being quicker on her feet than her father said, “The crocodile did it, Daddy! Stop talking about it!”

It’s always that damn crocodile doing this stuff. Or her sister. Madison is often found in the middle of a disaster orchestrated by her mysterious, disappearing sister.

“She is gonna be in trouble about this,” she’ll say, ruefully surveying the damage with me. “Let’s not tell Daddy.”

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