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20 year meme
Jun 24, 2009 The Story of My Life 1 Comment
Snagged from facebook.
****20 years ago***** (1989)
1) How old were you? A babe in the woods — a mere 19
2) Who were you dating? I wasn’t really dating anyone although I was kinda running around with Chris T (co-worker at Katzinger’s) and was just about to meet Brett the very next year.
3) Where did you work? Katzinger’s Deli and I was in school for part of the time but dropped out to the tune of a nervous breakdown brought on in part by working full-time and going to school full-time and babysitting on the side and basically not having any time to stop and think for a minute.
4) Where did you live? First part of the year, I was living with my roommate Spike (not her real name) and Wendie (her real name) and then that summer I moved out to my own tiny place.
5) Where did you hang out? Crazy Mama’s and Mean Mr. Mustard’s.
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? No although technically I had glasses. I just never wore them.
7) Who were your best friends? I was making friends with the retail women at Katzinger’s — Kimmb., Shari, Judit and Ann Henderson — and pulling away from my then best friends — Wendie, Spike and Teresa.
8 ) How many tattoos did you have? None.
9) How many piercings did you have? Just four — one in one ear, three in the other.
10) What kind of car did you drive? 1982 Datsun 310
11) Had you been to a real party? Why I’d even hosted a real party or two.
12) Had you had your heart broken? Oh yes. Twice.
13) Were you Single/taken/Married/Divorced? Single.
14) Any Kids? Nope.
***10 YEARS AGO*** (1999)
1) How old were you? 29
2) Who were you dating? Married to dear old Brett!!
3) Where did you work? I was home with Noah and had just started freelancing.
4) Where did you live? We were here in Ohio and let’s see, if Noah was two then we were living in Georgetown Apartments and then later that year started renting in Upper Arlington.
5) Where did you hang out? La Leche League, natch.
6) Did you wear contacts and/or glasses? Only at the computer (glasses)
7) Who were your best friends? Liz (the woman who watches my kids nowadays), Ann Henderson, Lu, Janice
8 ) How many tattoos did you have? None
9) How many piercings did you have? Two because I’m sure the other two were closed up by then
10) What car did you drive? For part of that time we didn’t have a car and then we inherited a 1983 Monte Carlo from Janice
11) Had your heart broken? Not that year — broken hearts have not been part of my picture for a long time (thank goodness)
12) Were you Single/Taken/Married/Divorced? Married — often even blissfully!
13) Any Kids? A skinny little Noah with barely any hair and sweet slanty-up blue eyes
****TODAY (2009)****
1) How old are you? 39 (and a half)
2) Who are you dating? Still married to Brett
3) Where do you work? a preservation non-profit
4) Where do you live? Worthington
5) Where do you hang out? Seems like I end up at various coffee shops for meetings an awful lot these days
6) Do you wear contacts and/or glasses? Have been needing my glasses more and more
7) Who are your best friends? Homeschool potluckers
8 ) How many tattoos do you have? NONE — it ain’t never gonna happen
9) How many piercings do you have? Two
10) What kind of car do you drive? Either a very old little Honda (can’t remember the make/model) or a minivan
11) Have you had your heart broken? Not since pre-Brett
12) Are you Single/taken/Married/Divorced? Still married to Brett, still often blissful
13) Any Kids? A sturdy stomping Noah with too-long hair and the same sweet slanty-up blue eyes and a curly twirly Madison with sparkling brown eyes who sings her way through the day
More on grad school
Jun 21, 2009 The Story of My Life, work work work 21 Comments
Apparently this is my 3540th post. I’ve been blogging a long time.
I wanted to write a little more about my grad school decision, which came about in a very circular, meandering way. I was thinking this weekend about mistakes and how I have to make mistakes if I’m going to do something new and how discouraging this can be sometimes. Because I’ll be looking ahead at a Brand New Plan and realize that I will have to bump into things while I learn my way around. I tell the kids all the time that you’re supposed to make mistakes when you’re learning something because sometimes you have to do things wrong to figure out how to do things right but I understand why they kick their feet and whine about it because I feel like that sometimes, too.
I’ve been thinking about my freelance experience and what I loved about it and what I didn’t like about it. It’s taken awhile to figure out what I didn’t like because I kept thinking about it in terms of how I didn’t do this or that well and should have learned to do it better. But the more I thought on it, the more I realized that if you dread a certain part of your job, it’s hard to do it well. And the networking I had to do, I never could figure out how to make that work for me.
There’s a lot of competition for the kind of work I was doing (the consulting part of it) and I’m not great with competition. When Noah first started softball, I remember that he used to let the ball roll right by him. One time I saw him gesture to his team mate, inviting the kid from the outfield to come and get it. I asked him why later and he said, “Well, he wants it more than I do.” This is how I felt about gunning for work.
Don’t get me wrong — I like to work — but I don’t like pushing people around to try to get to a job first. I was listening to a woman talking to another consultant this weekend at PodCamp. She was saying that she was tired of rival consultants inviting her for a friendly coffee and then trying to pump her for information — the same information she was trying to get paid for, right? People do this all the time and you know I never could figure out how to turn someone trying to swipe info into a sale; I’d end up giving too much away. I’d believe people when they’d say that maybe we could partner around this or that and I’d share all my hard-earned info and then never get a call back. I know it’s stupid to give stuff away for free but I like helping people and I always believed (usually mistakenly) that it would pay out in the long-term.
So that was a mistake. But what I learned from that mistake is that I would rather help people then not.
The other thing I learned is that I’m a good listener. I didn’t know this because I do adore hearing myself talk. But I went to a lot of interviews and meetings and lunches and coffees and it turns out that I really like to listen. Most of the jobs I got? I got them because I would start asking my interviewer questions and I’d end up learning a whole bunch about the company and/or project but also about the person doing the interviewing. I’d find out if they liked their job there and what they liked about it and what they did before and if they liked that, too, and how they felt about Columbus and what their hobbies were, etc. etc. I started to love interviews because they were so dang interesting.
But that was sometimes another mistake because sometimes I did more listening than selling. In interviews this worked for me but in those networking meetings? Not so much. Because we’d walk away from each other and maybe they were thinking what a nice person I was but maybe they didn’t have such a great idea of what I had to offer them professionally.
The other thing is that the whole marketing/PR culture is hard for me. A lot of it is very high energy and enthusiastic and contrary to most people, I find cheerleading disheartening. The work was fun; the getting of the work was NOT fun. So the other thing I learned is like a working world that is a little more low-key. (My current marketing job is very low-key, thank goodness.)
There were things I love Love LOVED about freelancing — mainly being my own boss. I am a stop and start kind of worker who gets hell bent on a project and works my own timeline. I like to work that way. I like to lay low and then tear the place apart finishing out a project. I like to spend my thinking time away from my desk and work way into the night. I can’t do that with a regular job and it makes it all a lot less fun for me.
Other things I loved and would look for me in my perfect career:
- Ability to change things up. I get bored easily so I like to have a lot of different ways to work.
- Chance for public speaking. It turns out that I love to give workshops and teach. I want to do more of that. And I’d like to get paid for it.
- More time with people but less time selling.
- Less time at the computer so that I’m not so burned out by the keyboard that my brain hurts when I try to write. (Please note how this blog has suffered as late.)
So like I said, I’ve been thinking about all of these things. I like my job (love my co-workers) and am learning a lot but I know this isn’t the job where I’m going to get my gold watch. I mean, it’s not where I see myself for the rest of my working life. But where then? What then?
A few weeks ago I was talking to someone about some problems he was having in a relationship and he said, “You know, you should be a therapist.” And I said, “Oh people always tell me that.”
They do always tell me that and they have since forever. I’ve thought about being a therapist, too, and have looked more than once at the MSW program here at Ohio State. Thing is, it’s very much about systems and I’m not all that interested in systems, besides which the internship is prohibitive for someone who needs to make a living. But I have gone back and stared at the web site an awful lot wondering if I could make it work.
So digging around, I found another program for a Masters in Counseling Education. You can either prepare to be a school counselor (not for me) or get a masters in Clinical Mental Health Counseling. Either way, you come out of there ready to get your LPCC (Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor). The great thing about the program is that it’s designed for working students so I wouldn’t have to quit my job (there are very limited fellowships so I need to have a back-up plan). I’ll be applying for fall 2010 but I have no idea how competitive it is.
I’m excited about this. It feels like a flexible enough career that I could do a lot of different things and that my career could look a lot of different ways as time goes on. (Because I really do get bored easily and like change even when change terrifies me.) I hope to focus on adoption issues and my dream of dreams is to do something like what Joyce Pavao is doing in Boston only on a smaller scale.
The other thing is that spending less time typing typing typing would be so great. I’ve been professionally tied to my computer for about a decade now and I’d like to earn a living OFF of it so that I can go back to using the computer for fun. My wrists would thank me, too. And certainly it would give me more to write about, eh?
Ok, so that’s my grad school decision — born from mistakes and small epiphanies.
Oh and I am on week 6 of Couch to 5K and looking forward to ending intervals this week and moving on to short but continuous runs. Hope to build up my speed!
Noah is so cute
I think his friends did a great job on this video although I kinda wish they had a tripod because now I’m a little seasick.
We missed him while he was on this trip but it’s clear he had a GREAT time and I’m so happy he got to go (again — we went on this press trip about six years ago).
Anyway, check it out! The kids reviewing their trip to Santa Claus, Indiana (and surrounding attractions)!!
