This week’swe have brains topic:

I’d love to hear what memories and/or expectations the holidays bring up for you about your own mother. What is/was her role in your family during these times?

As an adult I’ve realized that all the things that happened when I was a child happened because my mother made them happen. At the time, I wasn’t really aware of the time and effort she put into things; I took them for granted. We didn’t really help her prepare for the holidays and I’m not really sure why that was. Were we not interested? Were we too underfoot? In any case, we would come home from somewhere and everything would be ready. I don’t even remember watching her make Christmas cookies even though there were three of four kinds she made every year. I do remember decorating sugar cookies. I also remember how beautifully my mom wrapped presents. She made it look so easy that I was sorely disappointed when I first tried wrapping my own.

How has your own mother’s role during the holidays shaped your own expectations for what a family "should" be, who you want to be in your life, and what this "special time of year" means to you?

Although I had both a mom and a dad until I was 11 or 12 (when my dad started a new family and became even less present), my father was more of a mythic figure in our home. He was on the road a lot and when he was around, his presence was sort of awesome and disruptive. This is so different from my own husband’s everyday, loving presence that I feel like holidays in my home now are nothing like the holidays we had then. So it’s difficult to compare myself and the new traditions we’re making with my childhood memories; my mother and I are operating in such very different circumstances. But what I did get from my mom and that I want to give to Noah is a sense of magic and of gratitude.

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