Maybe it’s post holiday blues but I can’t get into a decent mood to save my life. I’m wandering around, shuffling my feet and sighing heavily and wishing something wonderful would happen and then something wonderful does happen and I heave another sigh and talk about what a nuisance it all is. See, Brett — knowing I’m not feeling my best or my brightest — surprised me with tickets to the touring production of The Producers for Wednesday night. I should be thrilled, right? Only I’m not so much.

Brett is my very best date for going to a show. He doesn’t mind that I’m a big fool and get all teary-eyed for an overture (any overture, I don’t care, I’m just so happy to be there) and he doesn’t care when I have to tell him every little thing I know about the show during intermission. Only he can’t go with me because the baby is suffering from stranger anxiety and would have a miserable time with any non-parent for an evening. (My mother-in-law kindly said she didn’t mind if Madison cried for three hours and I said, “Well, I would mind if Madison cried for three hours even if I weren’t there to hear it although I appreciate the gesture.”)

My birthday is next week and this wasn’t even a birthday present. It was just a “gosh Dawn, you seem like a gal who could use a pick-me-up so I thought I’d treat you to a show” present. Darnit.

It’s such a lot of money and I can’t really think of anyone who would love to go. It’s way too adult a musical to bring Noah so he’s out. None of my other friends are much for showtunes and I don’t want to go with somone who’s lukewarm about the idea.

I’m planning on asking my mom but she’s likely asleep right now so I can’t ask her yet. But it’s a work night so we’ll have to see.

The truth is, what I’d rather have had was a card from Brett saying he would buy me tickets. Then I could have flung my arms around him, kissed him soundly, thanked him for the thought and refused. Instead I was a non-gracious receiver of a present. I wrinkled my brow and said, “But I don’t want to go.” That’s not the first thing I said but near enough that poor Brett was let down.

I just can’t stand it. It’s so much money right on the heels of Christmas and I know that even though I said the tickets could be an early birthday present, Brett is going to buy me something then, too. He can’t help it. He always over-indulges me for holidays and birthdays. I wish I weren’t so cheap but I can’t help but do the math and worry about the expense.

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