Being a mama’s boy, new research suggests, may be good for your mental health. That, at least, is the conclusion of a study presented at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association by Carlos Santos, a professor at Arizona State University’s School of Social and Family Dynamics.
Santos recently conducted a study that followed 426 boys through middle school to investigate the extent to which the boys favor stereotypically male qualities such as emotional stoicism and physical toughness over stereotypically feminine qualities such as emotional openness and communication, and whether that has any influence on their mental well-being. His main finding was that the further along the boys got in their adolescence, the more they tended to embrace hypermasculine stereotypes. But boys who remained close to their mothers did not act as tough and were more emotionally available. …
Using a mental-health measure called the Children’s Depression Inventory, he also found that boys who shunned masculine stereotypes and remained more emotionally available had, on average, better rates of mental health through middle school. “If you look at the effect size of my findings, mother support and closeness was the most predictive of boys’ ability to resist [hypermasculine] stereotypes and therefore predictive of better mental health,” Santos says.
So first let me thumb my nose at the people who worried I was smothering Noah with all that attachment parenting (the extended breastfeeding, the co-sleeping, the slinging) and that Brett was “allowing” me to turn him into a girly-man by respecting Noah’s feelings.
And second how about we stop this whole “mama’s boy” stereotype altogether, ‘kay? Let’s just say that human beings — male or female or self-identified other — are healthier and happier when they are allowed and encouraged to be in touch with their feelings and taught skills to communicate effectively.
Please go listen to it. You can read the transcript but it’s nothing compared to hearing her voice. And yes, you extrapolate it to adoption. (Hat tip to the Good Men Project!)
Kioni “Popcorn” Marshall’s parents were separated for five years of her life. Things eventually changed, and they got back together. Kioni, 8, recently asked her father about that separation, and how their family has changed since then.
The pair started off with Beau Harris asking his daughter what person in her life has been the kindest to her.
“I would have to say my mother,” Kioni says. “When I do something and she’s, like, mad — she understands and she tries to lower her temper down. And I think that is kind.”
“Have me and Mom ever extremely disappointed you?” Harris asks.
“Yes. She asked me if I wanted to meet my father, and I was already 5 years old,” Kioni says.
“And I was like, wondering, why couldn’t she have said that before? And I was disappointed that she didn’t,” she says. “If I could do it now, then why couldn’t I have done it when I was 4 or 3, or 1?
“And you had disappointed me, Dad,” she says, “because you have not been in my life for five years.”
You know how some kids think the olden days actually happened in black and white? Well, here’s proof that it didn’t. Also an unsung Rosie the Riveter. Click to see all the pics in all of their glory. It’s worth it.
My brother and sister-in-law just started the Dave Ramsey course a few months ago and then I saw AmFam is too. Brett used to love to listen to his radio show (except for the conservative social commentary) because Brett is a junkie about financial stuff. Me, I think Dave Ramsey’s advice is obvious and so does SNL. I thought I’d share it here. (I am pretty sure AmFam could TEACH a Dave Ramsey course only it would have lots of liberal social commentary. In fact, I think she should. There ain’t nothing Ramsey could teach AmFam!)
Edited to add: Post inspired by Abby who needs a bigger bed but insists on paying cash and who could also teach Dave Ramsey courses.
