Spring rain today
Beautiful.
I have a cold and am deeply, unequivocally blue. I’ve got iTunes programmed to play all my favorite misery songs at random while I pretend to work on an article. Right now, it’s Leonard Cohen’s voice murmuring to me.
I’ve figured out why I’ve been unable to get pregnant but am not quite ready to talk about it with the rest of the world yet. The good news: I know what it is. The bad news: whether or not I can do anything about it is questionable. I can try and I might be able to improve things but I know that there are limits to what I’m willing to do medically. Meanwhile, I have an appointment with a midwife next week and I’ll ask her for a referral to a specialist and I’ll spend the summer (since there is often a wait-list for these specialists) doing what I can with herbs, diet, etc.
That all sounds more dire than I feel. I mean, I am pretty sad right now but I don’t feel hopeless. Cautiously optimistic, maybe, and very shocked.
Ooops, bad iTunes somehow slipped in a lullaby and I’m not in the mood to remember being a loving mother gazing at the baby at my breast. Off to change the song list!
