You knew I’d have to blog it
26Apr2004 Filed under: Adoption Author: DawnThis is so flipping offensive and unethical. Please, please, please let 20/20 know that you will be letting their advertisers know that you will NOT support a company that sponsors a program like this.
“20/20″ cameras were there last October when the competition for Jessica’s baby began as the finalists arrived at the agency one by one. Each couple would have less than a half an hour to convince Jessica that they should be the parents of her unborn son.
This isn’t how open adoption works. I hope this young woman — who clearly wants to parent — was able to keep her son. I hope that the hopeful adoptive parents get some counseling before they pursue another adoption. This is really shitty. And it happened in Ohio, too. Gak.
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About Me
I have two kids and a delightfully odd husband, Brett. My children are Noah (born to us in 1997) and Madison (born to her first mom, Pennie, in 2004 and brought to our family through a domestic, open adoption). They are my inspiration and also the reason I don't get more done around here.
I'm a writer and sometimes I get published, which is a nice thing. I write for joy, I write for money and when I'm very lucky, both things happen at the same time. My work appears in national publications including Yoga Journal, Disney's Family.com, Utne, Wondertime, Brain Child and Salon. Currently I am working on a book about my daughter's adoption and seeking representation for the proposal. I also own Smart Cookie Communications with my husband.
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eli
April 26th, 2004 at 5:30 pm
GAK! is right. Shame on the collective us!
alisa
April 26th, 2004 at 5:32 pm
I saw those previews and thought immediately of you. So repulsive that they have turned adoption into a competition.
Carrie Pavlin
April 26th, 2004 at 5:45 pm
I emailed ABC and let them know how wrong this is. Thank you for letting us know.
Ally
April 26th, 2004 at 6:43 pm
I am going to e-mail them. I am a birthmother and did a semi open adoption, and that is not the way I did my selection. I meet my son’s parents after I picked to them and spoke to them on the phone. People do need to be better educated on the semi and open adoption before airing a story like that.
Jodi
April 26th, 2004 at 6:56 pm
I also wrote about this disgusting program on my blog. Is 20/20 so desperate for viewers that they will take the most heart wrenching decision a person can make and turn it into a lottery?
Kim
April 26th, 2004 at 7:26 pm
I don’t think they are doing anything different than Dr. Phil. Not that I afree this should be shown like some “Real World” but Dr. Phil should be shown also as a person exploiting pg teens and babies. He chronicled one young girls pg for months. Check out the archives.
http://www.drphil.com/show/family_archive.jhtml
and
http://www.drphil.com/show/show.jhtml?contentId=2048_afamilydivided6.xml
shannon
April 26th, 2004 at 7:38 pm
What’s the difference between this and stupid reality t.v?
Oh, well there’s the little factor of the girl being 16!
What a cheap, sleazy, horrorible thing.
Will dash off an indignent missive to 20/20.
Kim
April 26th, 2004 at 8:08 pm
I saw an ad for this and couldn’t believe they’re doing it. It’s like Extreme Makeover: Adoption Edition. Disgusting. And I’m really surprised at Barbara Walters, who is an adoptive mom herself and should really know better.
ModernMother Tamra
April 26th, 2004 at 8:09 pm
It’s absolutely vile!
Sandy
April 26th, 2004 at 9:04 pm
I saw the ad for the that for the first time last night. I couldn’t believe it was for real. Alone in my living room I nudged my jaw closed and then muttered, “Say it ain’t so.” How pathetic.
Jenna
April 26th, 2004 at 11:43 pm
I have had a huge discussion on an adoption message board I post on regarding this, and I have also blogged about it. This whole thing makes me sick.
the latest ‘reality’ tv … I just can’t believe what they are trying to do to adoption.
Lizbeth
April 27th, 2004 at 7:40 am
I was also horrified when watching 20/20 and Barbara Walters promoted the adoption “contest”. She spoke about it as a “must see” event. I was shocked that Barbara, who herself is an adoptive mother, would not be offended by such a crass and repugnant idea. See this is why I hate Reality TV. With the Swan, and now this, they prove that they are willing to exploit and humiliate any and all human suffering.
Melanie
April 27th, 2004 at 8:45 am
Yeah, Chris and I saw the previews for it and found it unbelieably offensive. Adults acting like idiots and eating gross food is one thing– but adoption should not be reality TV fodder.
maria
April 27th, 2004 at 9:11 am
One of the board members of our adoption group wrote to the show in protest over the wording of the ad. He got a terse reply telling him to watch the show because it would help people see the actual process of open adoption. Good to know they have perspective, eh?
It’s sickening to me. It makes all the parties look bad. Some poor girl is being pushed into adoption by her parents and 5 couples are forced into a dog and pony show! It’s everything adoption should NOT be.
Karen
April 27th, 2004 at 10:27 am
Thanks for the link, Dawn. I was repulsed by the ad for the show. I can’t believe that Barbara Walters is involved in this - she of all people should know better. Or maybe she doesn’t…
ABC’s getting an email, and Disney is getting NO MORE of my money.
AmyinMotown
April 27th, 2004 at 10:30 am
I saw this too and was horrified, and am trying to rally friends and family for a full-out boycott. Horrible. It makes adoptive parents look like craven baby-stealers, makes the birthmom look like some sort of heartless auctioneer, and makes the whole process look like the goddamn Bachelor. And I am yet more sickened to know Barbara Walters herself is an adoptive mother and condoned this steaming pile of crap.
I was preparing to be an adoptive mother myself, we’d been matched and everything, when I unexpectedly (to say the least) got pregnant and all appears to be well. In the short time we were adopting, I was amazed at the asinine comments from otherwise intelligent people and shows like this just make it worse.
hillary
April 27th, 2004 at 10:39 am
oh. my. god.
Lisa
April 27th, 2004 at 11:34 am
I just wanted to let you know that I completely agree with you about this 20/20 thing - absolutely disgusting. I sent them an email straight away letting them know!
sarahs
April 27th, 2004 at 11:47 am
Oh that is so sick and wrong. I wrote an e-mail and will think all good thoughts for their competitors that night.
Sarah(s)
Pretty Purple Princess
April 27th, 2004 at 12:02 pm
A note from my sister-in-law
Hi everyone, I’ve never done this sort of thing but I am so offended by ABC, Barbara Walters and 20/20 that I am compelled to take action against them. On Friday, April 30th ABC will air a program hosted by…
Lisa
April 27th, 2004 at 1:29 pm
I think this is typical of the media to exploit any situation for ratings. I really wonder how the adoption agency in charge didn’t demand more editorial control. I also wonder about the girl’s parents and all the aparents. Maybe they are just as horrified as we are, I don’t know-but someone somewhere should have thought about how a baby is going to feel 20 years from now about being portrayed as a prize in a contest. You can email the adoption agency that worked with ABC- its called A Child is Waiting. Their web is achildiswaiting.com
Lisa
Nancy
April 27th, 2004 at 2:30 pm
I heard the buzz on this today when I got to work. I was immediately appaled, and yet I assumed it was not true. I had heard that it was a new reality TV show (I hate reality TV) ~ only to find out that is is 20/20. Shame on them! Shame on us for making them think that we would want to watch this. Shame on whoever talked this young mother into this!
Elise
April 27th, 2004 at 2:48 pm
My husband and I saw an ad for this the other night and both nearly fell off the couch. We were so horrified by this and could not believe that Barbara Walters, a journalist with a pretty good reputation, could sink so low. Words cannot describe how offensive this is.
Barbara
April 27th, 2004 at 3:47 pm
I found the agency site - the link is http://www.achildswaiting.com (no “i” or “is”) and they have a disclaimer regarding the show. I wonder if many folks are complaining? I sure hope so.
Stacy
April 27th, 2004 at 4:54 pm
WOW!
Karen
April 28th, 2004 at 2:53 pm
I was speechless when I saw the commercial on Sunday night. I’ve already written to ABC, and I shared the link with the mother’s club I belong to and encouraged them to write in as well!
Lisa
April 28th, 2004 at 3:44 pm
It turns my stomach and will be writing and urging others to write in as well. This is so obscene.