I wanted to talk about revocation periods. They vary by state and some are quite a bit longer than others. For example, Maria in Virginia is facing a 25 day revocation period, meaning that for 25 days after the baby is born, the birth mom can change her mind about her adoption plan. Here in Ohio it’s only 72 hours.
Revocation periods are controversial. How much time should a woman have to rethink such a decision? How much is fair to her? How much is fair to the waiting adoptive parents? Most importantly, how much time is fair to the child?
Whether or not children are disrupted by placements that early in life is, again, controversial. There are arguments (falling out of favor, thank goodness) that for the first year, children are malleable enough to withstand caregiver changes without much problem. Others recognize that children need to bond to their caregivers as part of their healthy psychological growth.
I am grateful to live in a state that has a short revocation period. I do think that the baby who comes to us will be grieving the loss of her birth mother and I think having time to carefully, lovingly learn to trust as soon as possible is important. However, I recognize that I am also personally relieved that once a child is in our home, he or she cannot be moved out again and that this colors my thinking.
On the other hand, I think 72 hours is a ridiculously short time. Not that I know how long would be long enough. Revocation periods that stretch out for weeks and months also seem cruel to me. Not only are babies asked to be in limbo and adoptive parents are asked to hold back their love, but I think it must be agony for a birth mother to have that long to reconsider her decision. I don’t know of any studies (I’ll have to look) that have examined how different revocation periods might impact the grieving process for a birth mother.
I think about H. and baby Jane and I wonder if a shorter period would have made things play out differently; H. asked for Jane back before 72 hours were up. But I think about these two families struggling for the next 20+ days and of that poor baby needing to know who will be her mama and it’s heartbreaking for everyone.
Adoption is so hard.
I hope that H. takes Maria up on the counseling and figures out what she’s going to do. I hope that Jane is wherever she belongs soon. And, I must add, it is telling that both Maria and Michael say that whatever happens, they have no regrets. Even in their sorrow and anger, they believe in open adoption. That’s saying something.
(If you want to look up state-specific information, search here.)
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About Me
I have two kids and a delightfully odd husband, Brett. My children are Noah (born to us in 1997) and Madison (born to her first mom, Pennie, in 2004 and brought to our family through a domestic, open adoption). They are my inspiration and also the reason I don't get more done around here.
I'm a writer and sometimes I get published, which is a nice thing. I write for joy, I write for money and when I'm very lucky, both things happen at the same time. My work appears in national publications including Yoga Journal, Disney's Family.com, Utne, Wondertime, Brain Child and Salon. Currently I am working on a book about my daughter's adoption and seeking representation for the proposal. I also own Smart Cookie Communications with my husband.
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maria
February 29th, 2004 at 10:42 am
Virginia is actually a bit stranger than just the plain 25 days. A birthmom cannot consent to an adoption until the child is 10 or more days old. From the day she consents she has 15 days to revoke her consent for any reason. It baffles me why they set it up this way. Most states either allow a birthmom to consent immediately and then have a certain revocation period OR only allows them to consent after a certain number of days, but then makes that consent irrevokable. Why Virginia decided to do BOTH is beyond me.
I agree that 72 hours seems a bit short, but 25 days is ridiculously long and torturous for adoptive families. It’s so difficult to find a balance that works best for the baby. I wish I knew the answer… but even after all we’ve been through I still don’t.
Trey
February 29th, 2004 at 4:40 pm
there’s my home state for you! California had a 90 day revocation period, which seemed so long to us and they shortened it to 30 after our first adoption fell through (though the shorter period wouldn’t help, the birth mother changed her mind after 3 weeks). Though 30 seems more sane, it still seems a long time to have a child and the emotional distance it forces on new adoptive parents.
Our second try was through Washington, whose law is that it can be revoked till court approves, which can be as little as 48 hours. This seemed much too short, a mother has barely processed things before that period is over. Though I doubt our birth mother did or would have changed her mind, 48 hours seemed a short time to give her.
But like Maria, I have no idea what the ‘optimal’ time period would or should be. 48 is too short, 30 is too long.
(for your readers: http://naic.acf.hhs.gov/laws/state.cfm has a searchable database of legal issues state by state, ‘consent’ is one, its pretty up-to-date (6/2003).