She came over with boyfriend to take some holiday pictures.

Have I mentioned how much I love J’s boyfriend? I love his sister, too, and I love everything I hear about his parents and I love how crazy they are about J. And I love how he brings out the best in her — tells her how great she is, tells her how smart and beautiful she is. This guy, he’s worthy of her. He’s as fine a man as Brett and that’s saying something.

I was especially glad to see J today because I’d written her just after I got to meet Afrindiemum and Zade (both of whom are beautiful — really and truly). Anyway, the visit made me think about how lucky we are to have J around so I emailed her to tell her so and to tell her some cute little Madison story.

Madison is getting less shy with her. She’ll ask for her and pretend to call her on the phone. She shows off when J is here, twirling around and laughing. I love to see them together. It makes the world light up. I was thinking about what if Madison was born twenty years ago? And we didn’t know about J or how much Madison looks like her? It would be such a loss for all of us. I told J that it’s not just as Madison’s birth mother that we love her; it’s for herself, too. I don’t know how we got this lucky, you know? Because J is someone I would like in any context and I never expected to get that relationship, too. It’s such a bonus — such an enormous bonus — in our adoption. Early on I would read LisaV’s comments and emails (pre-blog!) and hope that one day I would have what she has with her daughter’s birth mother. And I feel like we’re getting there. Every day and every visit things seem more sure and more comfortable.

I’m just kinda high on the visit today, I guess. I used to be so afraid that somehow it would fall apart and now I feel like we’ve come to a place where we can survive whatever comes next.

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