I’m just sick of it. I can’t stop thinking about all the unhappy women on mother’s day, the self-conscious women on mother’s day, the women for whom mother’s day is the worst day of the year.
Jessica is out of town this weekend as is Brett’s mom so we’re going to head to my mom’s with a key lime pie. And I asked Brett to do my volunteer gig at Noah’s religious school. But otherwise, I don’t want to do much.
I couldn’t decide what to get Jessica and then realized I’d forgotten that her daughter is now three and therefore capable of holding mother’s day responsibilities. She’s decided to get Jessica a … oh I can’t tell you in case she clicks in here (unlikely because she’s not going to be online this weekend but one must be cautious when it comes to presents!). Anyway, my point is that Madison has reached the age of gift-giving reason. And she knows just what it should be.
Adoptive Families is reprinting Open Adoption, Broken Heart for their (I think) June/July issue. They want a picture of the three of us — me, Jessica and Madison. The only ones I have are old so if we can get with her this week, we’ll try to take new ones. But they’re on a time crunch so I don’t know. They originally wanted the one mentioned at the end of the essay where Madison is “running away [from Jessica], running towards me” but then I realized they thought maybe I was in it and I’m not — I’m the one who was taking the picture.
I have two kids and a delightfully odd husband, Brett. My children are Noah (born to us in 1997) and Madison (born to her first mom, Pennie, in 2004 and brought to our family through a domestic, open adoption). They are my inspiration and also the reason I don't get more done around here.
I'm a writer and sometimes I get published, which is a nice thing. I write for joy, I write for money and when I'm very lucky, both things happen at the same time. My work appears in national publications including Yoga Journal, Disney's Family.com, Utne, Wondertime, Brain Child and Salon. Currently I am working on a book about my daughter's adoption and seeking representation for the proposal. I also own Smart Cookie Communications with my husband.
Erin_d_a
May 12th, 2007 at 11:55 am
I hate mothers day. When I go to church I’m sure that about half the women there are cringing. Those are the women who are infertile, who have relinquished, those who have had children die, who have a “prodigal” child, whose mother is gone, whose mother is abusive, whatever. It is a pleasant holiday for the half of the church that has a nice happy little bubble.
eve
May 12th, 2007 at 12:35 pm
Why *ever* be happy if there’s always someone else suffering while you are happy? I mean, I understand the sentiment of hating the day. I understand the empathy for people who are sad, suffering, crushed. But seriously, half the world is feeling crushed or burdened somehow and is that a reason to hate any day or every day?
And “nice happy little bubble”–I guess we can’t let anyone who makes a choice or has the choice to choose happiness or joy in their moment–be anything but stupid and clueless.
Jenna
May 12th, 2007 at 1:58 pm
I hate the day not because others are suffering. I hate the day because it’s just a reminder. Of everything. And I don’t need any more reminders. I have enough! PFFT. Like Erin, I’m dreading church tomorrow. (Also doubly so because of my solo. EGADS.)
That said, let me know when the magazine prints it.
Leslie
May 12th, 2007 at 3:59 pm
I just plain old hate it too! But I like saying it! I hate Mother’s Day! That felt so good I’m going to say it again! I hate Mother’s Day! >8 ^P
Yes, I’m sure I wanted to say that. Thanks for asking. Thanks for bringing it up.
But also, everyone who wants to be happy should be happy. The whole world is not happy on, say, my birthday, which is a shame and a loss for them.
Reprint ho! Gosh, I’ve always heard of this miracle but I’ve never known anyone who actually had a reprint! Huzzah!
suz
May 12th, 2007 at 5:08 pm
hhmm, for the first time in like EVVAH i dont hate it. cant explain why. it just is.
cloudscome
May 12th, 2007 at 9:32 pm
I guess I’m one of those people in the bubbles… it seems the older I get the more I like mother’s day.
shannon
May 14th, 2007 at 12:25 am
I just hate it because Hallmark made it up to sell cards. Fortunately, my church has the good sense to ignore it. We pretty much ignore it too.
Brittany (thistle_verse)
May 14th, 2007 at 7:41 am
I don’t like the Hallmark aspect of pretty much every major holiday…but I have to say I really enjoy that my kids make me cards and get so excited to tell me “Happy Mother’s Days!!” See, I can understand where you’re coming from when you point out that lots of women are unhappy on Mother’s Day, and I empathize with them as much as I can…but I don’t think that means others can’t and shouldn’t enjoy it. It’s as much about the kids as the mothers, and personally, any day that promotes a little extra love and acknowledgement is a good one in my opinion. Maybe what we should all be doing on Mother’s Day is remembering how fotunate we are, and being aware that other women have burdens and pain. But I will never believe that my children, or any children, excitedly making cards and yelling happy things at the mother figures in their lives is a bad thing.