Adoption email debacle

25Oct2006 Filed under: Adoption Author: Dawn

I told you I would link to others talking about it:
Cigarettes & Coffee: Monday Mailbag

Suz hasn’t said anything yet but I wanted you to note that she was one of the people sent the YouTube link (wannabe adoptive parents trolling for links to their “Dear Birthmother” video). Please go read her blog and see about her writings related to YouTube and realize what complete ignorant cruelty it would be to send her such a missive.

And Madonna adoption debacle:
This sums it up for me. (I told my writing group this last night.) Madonna surrounded by brown-skinned children wearing full white. Don’t tell me this PR savvy woman didn’t say to herself, “I would look fabulous with my blonde hair in bright white clothing surrounded by dark children in that dark country!” I’m with Lisa V on this one and I’m not watching Oprah. Even if she is a fabulous mother, even if her motives are absolutely sincere, she’s smart enough (one assumes, gazing at her self-built multi-million dollar empire) to understand the nuances of her decisions and the complexities of this particular semi-legal (if legal at all) adoption.

Edited to add Madonna pic link: Lady Madonna, the very picture of white benevolence

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5 Responses to “Adoption email debacle”

kim.kim
October 25th, 2006 at 2:20 pm

Oprah is like a car crash, sometimes you can’t avert your eyes.

Did you ever see her program on adoption where she filmed this pregnant woman sobbing about having to give up her baby because she couldn’t afford to raise her? Then in the show Oprah cries out all excited “She’s heeeeeeeeeeeeeeere!!!!” and there is this gorgeous little girl with the new adoptive family.

It seemed out of character for Oprah to be so insensitive to the mother of that little girl.

I found it a bit upsetting.

That said, I think I want to put my energy into our new Big Sister Club where we adopt mothers AND their babies. That’s what makes me feel useful. I get too sad reading all these things where adoption really ought not to be happening. It’s out of my hands, not within my power.

It is in my power to send a nice letter, a toy, some baby clothes, a bit of encouragement and a lot of love to a mother who needs it. If anyone wants to help out or be part of our big sister program let me know. We have adopted our first mother so e-mail me at daisy-camille@hotmail.com if you want to participate.
kim.kim
October 25th, 2006 at 5:06 pm

We welcome and need participation from adoptive mums too. If you want to help please let me know.
Suz
October 25th, 2006 at 6:29 pm

Oh, no, look. You have gone and given him the attention. Now you will make me post about it, wont you.
Margie
October 26th, 2006 at 5:40 pm

First - Dawn and Suz, the messages you wrote to the guy who sent the email was on the money. He needed to hear in clear terms where he was off base. Hearing the same messgage from a first mom and an a-mom was powerful.

And the whole Madonna thing is just plain disturbing, there are so many other things she could have done to help this boy, his family, and his village. But as always my mind turns then to what makes her situation so different from mine, having adopted from another country. At the end of the day they are the same thing, albeit different specific circumstances, but the same response to need. I hope that there will be some serious dialog on this.
Baggage
October 26th, 2006 at 9:13 pm

Is it just me or has that whole site disappeared?

"Whatever our theme in writing, it is old and tired. Whatever our place, it has been visited by the stranger, it will never be new again. It is only the vision that can be new; but that is enough."

~Eudora Welty

About Me

I have two kids and a delightfully odd husband, Brett. My children are Noah (born to us in 1997) and Madison (born to her first mom, Pennie, in 2004 and brought to our family through a domestic, open adoption). They are my inspiration and also the reason I don't get more done around here.

I'm a writer and sometimes I get published, which is a nice thing. I write for joy, I write for money and when I'm very lucky, both things happen at the same time. My work appears in national publications including Yoga Journal, Disney's Family.com, Utne, Wondertime, Brain Child and Salon. Currently I am working on a book about my daughter's adoption and seeking representation for the proposal. I also own Smart Cookie Communications with my husband.