Next grad school info night

I left the next grad school info night (at my Plan B school) feeling discouraged. It was a very different feel than OSU and I wasn’t sure if it was a feel I liked. But then I’ve talked to some people who have gone to the school and unbuckled my perception of the information night from my (fading) feelings about being rejected. Which is to say, I got rejected on Wednesday and went to the info night on Thursday when I was still feeling all battered and bruised. (My last words to Brett when I left him and the kids at the sub shop to head to the meeting? “I coulda been a contender, Brett!”)

First of all, the good:

• Plan B school? Way more diverse. Although it’s not less expensive than OSU (and without fellowships it’s likely more expensive for most of its students) it has a more lenient acceptance policy (lower GPA, no GRE required unless the GPA minimum isn’t met); more flexible schedule and is built for the working student. Therefore there are older students there, students with greater experience and — at least at the info night — more racial diversity.
• Did I mention the flexible schedule? OSU wants to keep cohorts together and so taking a quarter off or dropping your hours is nearly impossible. Also the PhD candidate we spoke to on the OSU interview day said that she had to quit her waitressing job after the first couple of quarters because it was too much. Plan B school assumes most students have lives outside of school. This isn’t the same issue for me that it might be for someone with a 40-hour a week job but I do have two kids. I’m fairly sure said kids would not be polite to mention in mixed company at OSU (I’ll add that neither of the program directors — who are married — have kids so part of this might just be the reality of people not getting the way kids upend your life) but I got the keen sense that if I ever had to drag a child to a meeting at Plan B school, no one would blink.
• Classmates with real world experience surely make for a very different learning climate. With the counselor ed program, you do a lot of group discussion especially once you’re seeing clients. I was thinking yesterday (driving to my on-site freelance job) that I am more likely to learn from other students who have had jobs and careers and families and you know, lived when we talk about our clients than I am from very bright and very nice (at least the kids I met on interview day) early twenty-somethings who went to grad school straight from undergrad.
• At first glance, OSU’s licensing record is better. 100% of their graduating class passes the professional counselor licensing exam. Plan B school? 92%. But wait. I already mentioned that Plan B school students are busier and have (perhaps) less stellar academic records. That is to say, they are not as cherry-picked as the OSU students. Given that, I’m actually a little more impressed with the Plan B scores since they’re working with students who face more challenges.

And now the bad:

• Plan B school lacks Ohio State’s deserved sterling academic reputation.

The bad for me really doesn’t hold water when I think about it. See, I was seeing OSU as my chance to have a Real School experience. I dropped out of Ohio State after my first two years as an English major with a 2.7 GPA and a bad attitude. I took three years off from college to see a therapist and get my freaking life together. (I also met Brett, which made up for the general angst and misery of getting my head on straight. And one of these days I’ll tell you how my therapist was HORRIFIED when I announced that I was dating him.) Anyway, then I went to Portland State, which is a fine school and all but is no Ohio State University. I enjoyed my college experience and loved getting my Sociology degree there. But traditional? No, my college experience was NOT a traditional one. I always worked (usually full-time); I never lived in dorms; I never had a nice professor take me under her wing and encourage me to be all that I could be. PSU was a commuter school where the average age of the undergrad students was 27. In other words, it was awfully similar to this Plan B school culturally. Most of the students had lives outside of school, there were scads of returning students in all of my classes and professors knew that none of us was getting by on a trust fund. And I liked that. I liked that a lot. I liked it that single moms could bring their kids to class on teaching learning days and the instructors made them welcome. I liked that I never got attitude for missing a “voluntary” study session because I had to work (something that contributed to my feeling of alienation at Ohio State). But I also felt like I missed having this Real School experience.

So a big part of wanting to be at OSU was having a second shot at that. I wanted to have the chance to dive in and do school with a commitment I didn’t get to make in undergrad. But when I think about this, it’s kind of silly. I mean, I’m forty. I’m a parent to two kids. I have very specific plans and interests. Which is to say I’m already out of the Traditional School Experience demographic.

As to OSU’s great reputation? I don’t want to be an academic so it isn’t a practical concern for me. I have no desire to teach at the college level. I have no desire to teach wannabe counselors how to be counselors. I’m interested in workshops and things but I don’t want to teach somewhere where I’d have to read papers and give grades. It’s just not one of my career goals (no surprise when you remember I haven’t sent my own kids to school). What I want to do is build a career as a counselor. I don’t need OSU to do that and it’s very likely that my Plan B school will actually help me get there in a way that is more suited to me.

But I am feeling gunshy. Plan B school interviews all applicants so I will definitely get an interview there but I’m worried I won’t make it in because they do have more applicants than they have spaces and outside of some general standards, a lot of what they’re looking for is a good personality fit, which depends on the other students already in the program. Like maybe they’ve already cast the 40-year old freelancing homeschooling mom with the wry sense of humor and bad case of introversion.

Oh well. I’ve already hit “submit” on the application and now it’s up to them.

I do need to thank you all for the commiseration and encouragement. I especially want to thank the people that soothed my tattered ego by commenting indignantly about my rejection. I was all like, “Take that admissions committee!” And I also want to thank the people who were able to share information about the process that helped me not to take it so dang personally although I will say I indulged in a fantasy where I’m like a super star counselor and I see the admissions person at the counselor party and they’re all like, “Oh Dawn! You are so awesome! We made such a mistake!” And I’m all like, “Oh I forgive you — NOT!” Which is strangely like my ex-boyfriend revenge fantasy but I digress. Mostly I want to say THANK YOU for shoring me up last Wednesday because boy, it hit me pretty bad but I’m all better now in no small part thanks to friends and family and internet people who believe in me anyway.

Related posts:

1. More on grad school
2. Phew! Grad school interview down
3. Grad School Reject
4. Last night
5. Last night I couldn’t fall asleep