I’ve written here before that Madison has become afraid of bridges. Brett got her a book from the library that showed her how bridges are built to reassure her that they’re safe. She was kind of convinced until they got to the picture of the wooden bridge that was all slung over to the side because it was about to fall down. Brett explained to her that no one was allowed on the bridge way before then because people check them often to make sure that they’re safe. (No reason to get into a discussion about the tragedy in Minnesota, right?)
There are two major rivers that cut through Columbus — the Scioto and the Olentangy. We live near enough the Olentangy that Madison has to go over it several times a week and we have to drive across the Scioto to do anything in my mom’s neck of the woods. These bridge crossings cause her a lot of noisy angst and if Noah is riding with us, he’s good about holding her hand. Sometimes her last questions at night and first one in the morning will be, “Are we going over any bridges tomorrow?” and “Are we going over a bridge today?”
It’s had her really worried.
Well, today there was definitely going to be two bridges. The ones by my mom’s scare her more because they are longer and you can see the river more clearly and that’s where we were headed (to Brett’s favorite restaurant). She was happy about the restaurant but not at all happy about the bridge. She was brooding on it some.
Then after lunch she told me, “I was thinking about the bridge and decided I will just think about the book and about how the bridge is built of steel and is very strong and safe. That’s what I’ll think about when we’re going over the bridge. I will just keep my brain busy with it!” I told her this seemed like a very good idea.
Then when we hit Hayden Run Road (a longish bridge with low sides and a clear view of the Scioto) she said, “Brain! Time to think about the steel! I am thinking about the steel!” And Noah held her hand but halfway through she dropped it in a determined effort to be brave then we got to the other side she said, “Bridges are widges!” (That’s an insult — any name that she turns into a rhyming W word is a sign of her contempt!)
We all congratulated her, of course — made a big fuss, actually!
Then on the way home she said she didn’t need Noah’s hand anymore because “bridges are widges!” and she says she is over being afraid of them.
Isn’t she something?
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She’s totally awesome.
And this story makes me happy.
Don’t tell Madison this.
I was afraid of bridges for years. When I was 10 a bridge in Ohio collapsed. Around that time we went to New York City a few times a year to visit family.
My dad would always joke as we drove over the double decker bridge “You want to be on the top deck if the bridge breaks, because if you’re on the top deck you’ve got the bottom deck. But if you’re on the bottom deck you’ve got tsouris”. Meanwhile I’d be sitting in the back seat saying to myself “Please God don’t let the bridge break! Please God don’t let the bridge break!”.
When I started college I took a train to school that crossed the Delaware (Philly). It took about the first semester to get over being nervous. But I still don’t like to drive in the right lane of a bridge if there’s a choice.
The picture of the collapsed upper deck of the Oakland Bay Bridge during the 1989 earthquake looked like my worst nightmare.
Fortunately I don’t drive over real rivers often, living in Southern California. But some of the freeway transition flyovers…..
Debby – I hope you’ve never had to drive across the San Pedro Bridge! (In SoCal) Because it is not a fun one!! And I hear ya on some of those freeway transitions! Eek!!
Funny – I was scared of bridges when I was younger too. There was this one bridge, on the way to the ‘families favorite eating place’ that was really really tall (it was part of what is called, in Dallas, the “Mix Master” – a series of huge huge bridges in round circles and all sorts of twisted up jackassery that just sent me over the edge every single time).
At any rate – I still get all atwitter when I know we’re going to go over it – but there was a time, when going over that bridge sent me to the floor board with my hands and arms over my head…
…I guess if I couldn’t see or hear it, it didn’t exist.
At least in my perfect little world
Widges indeed!
I could use her bravery. Despite growing up in/around Pittsburgh and crossing a bridge everyday to do anything, I *PANIC* if we stop on a bridge. It doesn’t help that the Sewickley bridge over their Ohio SWAYS when you stop on it. I mean, HONESTLY.
Good for Madison! I can totally relate, though my issue is more about driving over bridges.
She IS totally something!
She is magnificent. I think I’ll borrow her “W” for bothersome things I want to steal power over me from. Today, it’s shin splints. SHIN SPLINTS ARE WHIN WLINTS!There, I feel better.
Love her! And you!
She is pretty amazing
You’ll get NO arguments from me!
That’s fantastic! I was a little nervous about walking across the brides when I was about her age (and around the time my brother was born, so you’ve made me wonder about that!) though luckily driving was never a problem. I cross two bridges on my way to work every day…. And I like her W strategy. Way to take control of the world with words!
She’s absolutely amazing!
I love kid thoughts!
Have you tried walking over/under bridges? Whetstone has a few that would be good to explore.
Her strategies mirror what my daughter learned in her “Phob-ease” class recently. They work on talking and addressing the issue, logic (although it doesn’t really work, it’s still good to try) and then minimizing/making fun of the fear. They call the fear/amygdala/adrenaline response the “dragon” and your brain the “wizard”. The dragon wants to scare you, but your wizard is always there, ready to shrink the dragon down to size. At the end of class, they made up a funny song about their fear. (similar to her W words). S’s was “this is the scariest song I know” sung to Laurie Berkner’s “this is the happiest song I know”
Very awesome that she came to those strategies on her own. There is a kids coloring/activity book for the class that might be of interest if fears start rearing big again. Now, if only I could find it to get the title.