I believe that it’s Jenna who nominated me for a “Best Adoption Blog” award over at The Bump and it’s awfully nice of her especially since really she deserves a nomination herself. No matter what happens with the contest (although it’d be really nice to win!) the site has definitely upped my visitors and so I wanted to give new folks a run down of our adoption story.
I’ve been blogging since 2001 and I’ve been blogging our adoption story since (checking for the very first entry under the adoption category) October 2002. There are A LOT of entries in that category!
We adopted our daughter through a local (Columbus Ohio) agency. We started the homestudy process sometime in 2003. We matched with a woman expecting a baby boy in November of 2003. She chose to parent about a month after (before we met her) and then we matched with Pennie in January 2004 and Madison came home to us three days after her birth in April 2004.
We have a fully open adoption with Pennie and Pennie just gave birth to Madison’s baby brother, Roscoe about three weeks (!) ago. We also have a bio son named Noah who was seven when Madison came home. Ours is a transracial adoption (Brett, Noah & I are white; Madison is African American.)
In that time, we struggled. We struggled as we considered what type of adoption would work for our family. We struggled with our decision to adopt transracially. We considered openness and what it might mean for us. We didn’t start ready to have a fully open adoption — with cards, letters, phone calls, pictures and regular visits — we grew into it. This blog charts our growth.
I had help in navigating the challenges of adoptive parenting, transracial adoption and openness because I have mentors. Two (of many) of these mentors include LisaV (adoptive mom who has given me so much encouragement and positive support) and Susan Ito (adult adoptee who has been generous in her insight to Madison’s experience).
This blog also charts my growth as I became more and more convinced that adoption needs reform — particularly domestic infant adoption, which obviously is the kind of adoption with which I’ve had the most experience. I’ve written a lot about that, too. My interest in reform came out of my own experiences but was also inspired by the activist work of adoptees and first parents like Jenna, like Nicole and like Suz.
Adoption has been good to me, obviously since I have the fabulous child to prove it. But understanding and appreciating my privileged role as an adopter is an ongoing journey (one recorded here on my blog). Sometimes people who want to talk about the need for ethical reform get dismissed as cranks but exploring the difficult and ugly parts of adoption has made me a better adoptive parent. I believe this without a doubt. It’s not easy, goodness knows, but my daughter deserves nothing less. And that’s what my blog is about.
Here are some pics (you can click to make them bigger):
Possibly related posts:
I sure as sugar nominated you. You have helped me in my adoption journey as well. I’ve seen you influence and inspire others, inside and outside of the triad. I am always in awe of your ability to step back, analyze and move forward. If anyone deserves this, it’s you.
I’ll link this up on Chronicles later today. (Today is insanity. INSANITY. But I just had a lunch cancelled on me so I have 10 minutes. To read blogs, of course.)
As noted on Twitter, thanks for the shout out and as always find myself curiously grateful that my horrible adoption trauma can help someone in someway.
I voted for you too. I hope you win. Looks close.
I voted too, how exciting! I hope you win… And how nice for us longtime readers to see your adoption journey summarized in one post… wow, I sure don’t have such a great ability to synthesize!
Just what I was thinking, lovely summary
I voted for you, too, Dawn!
Um, Dawn? How come there’s no pictures of YOU, beautiful mama, in the ones you chose to show? Do you need me to fly to Ohio and take one? Because I just may threaten to do that.
Cynthia, ‘cuz I ain’t nearly as pretty as everyone else in the family!! But you could take pictures — your pictures are so good that I’d whine but I’d submit!
Oh, submit you will. And you are plenty pretty, in addition to how good lookin’ your kids and husband are too. I just think that photographs represent a lot, and I don’t want you leaving yourself out. And i’ll shut up now.
Oh you and Abby! Abby is always saying, “One day you’ll be dead and the children will have no pictures!” But even the guilt isn’t convincing! I am photo phobic. Sad, really.
I was going to say this too, but figured Cynthia had it covered. I took a photo of myself every day (give or take) for a year or so, and at the end of that I liked how I looked much more, plus I sort of knew how to make myself take a good picture. I’ve lost that somewhat since, but I can at least stand to look at myself. Sometimes.
You deserve this. I voted for you so many times, it’s like I was in an old time Chicago election.
I really hope you win because I want a signal that your way of thinking about adoption is becoming normative in the wider community, that it’s not just all about “saving babies.” I’m voting a lot!
I hope everyone realizes that we can keep voting over and over (or so it seems) so we’re not overvoted by the other blog’s crowd… It gets confusing at times (the number of votes varies up and down).
I totally voted for you. And I will again. And again.
[...] the right blogs. But, even still, she’s paraphrased it all into a handy post for newcomers. Check it out.) Tweet This!Share this on FacebookStumble upon something good? Share it on StumbleUponShare this [...]
[...] blogger and writer Dawn Friedman tells a story in her blog from the opposite perspective of adopting her daughter, Madison, while keeping an open line of [...]
[...] blogger and writer Dawn Friedman tells a story in her blog from the opposite perspective of adopting her daughter, Madison, while keeping an open line of [...]