Comments on: Finding Friedman http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2009/07/15/finding-friedman/ dawn friedman's blog Fri, 12 Mar 2010 11:48:39 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Mia http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2009/07/15/finding-friedman/comment-page-1/#comment-20952 Mia Mon, 20 Jul 2009 05:44:44 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=5070#comment-20952 And wouldn't you know that Facebook can add a new dimension to the hurt that comes with feeling left out of a family where you technically belong, but aren't included? My situation is similar due to divorce and sibling issues in my dad's generation, and when I see that my cousins-- and second cousins and third cousins-- are all friends with each other on Facebook--but not with my sibling or I, it hurts. I try to envision how I can create a better extended-family situation for my own kids, but that's a loaded bunch of relationships, too. What a mess! And wouldn’t you know that Facebook can add a new dimension to the hurt that comes with feeling left out of a family where you technically belong, but aren’t included?

My situation is similar due to divorce and sibling issues in my dad’s generation, and when I see that my cousins– and second cousins and third cousins– are all friends with each other on Facebook–but not with my sibling or I, it hurts.

I try to envision how I can create a better extended-family situation for my own kids, but that’s a loaded bunch of relationships, too. What a mess!

]]> By: Shelley http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2009/07/15/finding-friedman/comment-page-1/#comment-20939 Shelley Sat, 18 Jul 2009 02:12:52 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=5070#comment-20939 I don't think there's anything childish about your dream, Dawn, that they miss you as much as you miss them. That's a reasonable expectation of family, especially of a parent. That's not to say you shouldn't work toward accepting the relationships as they are rather than as you wish they were, of course. I don’t think there’s anything childish about your dream, Dawn, that they miss you as much as you miss them. That’s a reasonable expectation of family, especially of a parent.

That’s not to say you shouldn’t work toward accepting the relationships as they are rather than as you wish they were, of course.

]]> By: Kim http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2009/07/15/finding-friedman/comment-page-1/#comment-20934 Kim Fri, 17 Jul 2009 07:37:17 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=5070#comment-20934 Your father is so lucky to have you and I find you to be so very flexible and forgiving of him. With my parents I explain to myself that it's like expecting them to be able to play the violin - they can't play violin and they can't be any different either. My father's apathy towards me and my siblings is something I have accepted, I've also given up on him. Your father is lucky that you haven't given up on him. Your father is so lucky to have you and I find you to be so very flexible and forgiving of him.

With my parents I explain to myself that it’s like expecting them to be able to play the violin – they can’t play violin and they can’t be any different either.

My father’s apathy towards me and my siblings is something I have accepted, I’ve also given up on him. Your father is lucky that you haven’t given up on him.

]]> By: Maggie May http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2009/07/15/finding-friedman/comment-page-1/#comment-20931 Maggie May Thu, 16 Jul 2009 23:08:08 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=5070#comment-20931 Came here through a happy accident. I love the title of your blog and the honesty and clarity of experience written here. Glad to find you. Maggie Came here through a happy accident. I love the title of your blog and the honesty and clarity of experience written here. Glad to find you.

Maggie

]]> By: Meg Jeske http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2009/07/15/finding-friedman/comment-page-1/#comment-20926 Meg Jeske Thu, 16 Jul 2009 16:41:54 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=5070#comment-20926 This feels timely in my world too. Went to a funeral yesterday for a cousin that I grew up with in a family we used to spend lots of time with when we were younger. As all the kids grew up and had kids, the group got too large to all be together for our summer gatherings, so I didn't get to see them so much. It used to really make me ache for them all, but I also feel insignificant in their world. At the funeral, I felt so much love for this cousin's siblings and tried to convey that in my hugs and my words, and it felt like so little in the midst of their grief. Thanks for writing this, Dawn. This feels timely in my world too. Went to a funeral yesterday for a cousin that I grew up with in a family we used to spend lots of time with when we were younger. As all the kids grew up and had kids, the group got too large to all be together for our summer gatherings, so I didn’t get to see them so much. It used to really make me ache for them all, but I also feel insignificant in their world.

At the funeral, I felt so much love for this cousin’s siblings and tried to convey that in my hugs and my words, and it felt like so little in the midst of their grief.

Thanks for writing this, Dawn.

]]>