Comments on: An answer that talks about Barbie

By: we’re here, we’re queer, we’re a family « Mother Issues

we’re here, we’re queer, we’re a family « Mother Issues — Mon, 12 Jan 2009 17:08:49 +0000

[...] This is probably a silly way to put it, but I get so much in-the-trenches practical adoption information from the special needs bloggers, international and domestic. But I’m also a failed philosophy major (dropped it rather than write a thesis with the only professor I ever met who thought that because I was female I must have less brain than the boys in the room) I have constant need for some theory in my life, too. To get my dose of politicized language and messy, nasty ethics I go to adoptees like Mia and first moms like paragraphein and adoptive moms like Dawn. [...]

By: Lilian

Lilian — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 22:49:09 +0000

Great post on so many levels.

I’ve kept the boys from guns so far. We have one water gun, but they seldom play with it. Kelvin didn’t know what a gun was until he was almost 4. I was just so proud!

By: cindy psbm

cindy psbm — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 20:40:30 +0000

This reminds me of a time I was visiting my sister and my nieces were playing with their barbies and one of them was a ‘California’ barbie. Anyways, they were trying to dress it in barbie clothes from a different barbie and they didn’t fit!!
California’ barbies ‘tushie’ was bigger than the other barbies!!
I think they may be making barbie dolls more realistic in some cases…

By: Thorn

Thorn — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 12:35:41 +0000

I keep coming back here to check the comments and it just occurred to me that this Madison-with-a-Barbie photo is very Pennie-with-a-mustache. How cool!!

This is a question I’m not sure you’ll want to or be able to answer now, but do you think that this open adoption has queered your family? I have a feeling I’d agree with what Shannon’s saying and I’m curious about that.

One obvious parallel I see is that when going through our homestudy and writing a letter to our hypothetical child or children’s first mother (which was weird for older special needs adoption anyway but even weirder since we didn’t know the number or gender of hypothetical kid(s) and thus couldn’t easily use the right pronoun) we made it clear that it would be ridiculous to be threatened by the idea of another mother for this child when there’s going to be another mother in bed with me every night. I’m not saying the situations are parallel — though now that I write this I think I need to post about how the lack of second-parent adoption in our state do leave me legally like and unlike a first mother like Pennie — but there are certain things we can take as a given that others apparently don’t. Your family certainly seems to be in the same boat there.

This comment was sort of all over the place because I’m thinking of too many other things while writing it, but yeah I’d love to read about how in creating a multiracial family through open adoption you made your family queer. And it now sounds like you’ll be hearing my take too.

By: Dawn

Dawn — Fri, 09 Jan 2009 03:34:18 +0000

Right access to pop culture in a different way. Exactly! And yes on the language but I expressed it that way to make it clear that she's all alone in a way that Pennie wasn't in her family and she definitely expresses frustration at feeling all alone, too.

(posted on blog and sent via email)