Why I have no blogroll
I used to have a blogroll. This is what my sidebars looked like when I first had a blog. (Becca will remember this! Anyone else?) I don’t know why it’s making the font white — you have to highlight the whole page to see the type but you can see the sidebars.
This was before everybody and their mother had a blog so most of my links were other sites and then down at the bottom, the few bloggers I read.
Then blogging got busy. I couldn’t keep up. I pretty much added anyone who ever commented to my links-list. I moved it from the sidebar to its own page and tried to keep it organized. The blogosphere mushroomed so quickly that it was hard to keep up.
Then I realized it was a giant mess so I just asked people to tell me their blogs and I’d link to ‘em, no questions asked. But someone posted their link and someone else wrote to me off-list and said, “You can’t link her! She wrote XYZ once! You can’t condone that with a link!”
And that’s when I said screw it because I can’t be responsible for every single thing every single person I read says. Maybe this was the first time someone outright said, “don’t condone her with a link!” but it wasn’t the first or last time someone held me responsible for what someone else in my orbit said.
That’s why I use my google reader to share specific posts I find thought-provoking or inspiring or interesting and said to hell with the link list.
Friendships can be political anyway (they demand such loyalty!) but in the sometimes heated world of blogging and the sometimes even more heated world of adoption blogging, it’s too easy to get mired in some debate even when you’re trying to stand on the sidelines. To a certain point, I accept that and really don’t mind it much but it does preclude me having a blogroll.
By the way, I’ll have been blogging EIGHT YEARS come January 1st. Isn’t that nuts?
You know, I really like your policy on not having a blogroll. I mean I really really like it. I might just have to “steal” that from you at some point.
I’ve gotten embroiled in the friendship/politics of blogging, although in a different way, and I just won’t take sides.
I am always drawn to your blog first because you don’t have a million links to other stuff. I get confused easy. Simpleness is a better idea.
It’s ok to see internet friendships as superficial but then don’t write me emails telling me how much you love me and then tell someone else who was incredibly hurtful that you are proud to be their friend or tell them that they rock. That is really creepy. This happened to me with a few people in the blogging world and it made me really regret having gotten close. When you think you have a connection to someone and they are all over someone else who has been unkind then you have to make a choice. The choice is to have the self esteem to take distance.
Why call it a friendship if it’s not? Why not just be honest and say that it’s all about getting as many people to read one’s blog as possible and that it means nothing. And why say that you love someone, that’s really sick.
This is why I don’t want to blog about adoption anymore and why I don’t take internet friendships seriously.
(this comment is aimed in general not at you directly Dawn just to clarify)
I love the title of your page!!! It is one of my favorite Kate Bush songs!!! GREAT IDEA!!!
I’d get rid of my blogroll except it appears to be my most popular page. Ain’t THAT a depressing thought? Hmm, maybe all the more reason to dump it - or maybe the real message there is that I should dump the whole blog.
I use Google Reader for it, so at least it’s easy to maintain. I add the blogroll code to the page, and then blogs show up or disappear as I subscribe or unsubscribe. But I really like the clip-thingy from Google, so I added one of those, too. Very cool, but of course you do have to read and add stuff to it for it to be valuable.
Happy Blog Birthday, wow eight years!!
[...] URLs or just shutting down. In addition, as the lovely and wise Dawn recently said about her not having a blogroll: . . . . someone posted their link and someone else wrote to me off-list and said, “You can’t [...]
Glad to know my comment hit home.
Sorry to know my post was obviously not read in whole.
I won’t get into more of a discussion like this on someone else’s blog. If you want to talk, you know where to find me.
No thanks.
*sigh*
OK, in that case I’ll say one more thing here, and that’s all.
I’m sorry you felt shut out and/or betrayed. I don’t think that was anyone’s intention; I know it wasn’t mine.
The offer to talk via email is always open. As always, I wish you nothing but the best.
I’m not going to go chasing after you, that’s ridiculous. Why should I be emailing someone who was not sincere with me?
And my comment wasn’t only about what happened with you and me, it happened with a few internet friends who told me they loved me, some of them even sent me presents through the post. It’s just crazy to do that if it’s not genuine. It would have been better to let it be what it was, a shallow and pleasant internet conversation. Your offer for me to write you emails is politely refused, more meaningless and insincere internet conversation.
Your apology is rude, you’re not saying sorry. I’m not even asking you to say sorry. I am not angry with you, not even hurt, just baffled. I wish you nothing but the best too, I always did and always will.
I am not wishing to give any more energy to this.