To anon: Feelings are morally neutral
Anon asked this:
So what about those of us who may, yes indeed, feel like “oh. ouch.” if our child said they loved someone else better or best?
or, even if we do trust our 4 year old’s love for us…aren’t sure what our 15, 30, and 50 year old child will feel?
i don’t FEEL like a bad person. am I, though?
Feeling “oh. ouch” isn’t a problem unless we visit the “oh. ouch” on our kids. Right? I have no idea how I’ll feel when my kids are 15, 30 or 50 (may I live to see them at 50!! and grandkids!! and great-greatkids maybe!!).
But see, this is why I don’t think I deserve the kudos. If I were struggling to welcome Pennie in spite of some deep difficult feelings THAT would be worth applauding.
Just read the last few posts… at the risk of making you squirm further, Dawn, I think you’re pretty amazing — wise, self-aware, thoughtful and enlightened. You always give me so much to think about. And, clearly, you come by your sage nature honestly — tears pricked when I read your mother’s comment.
Dawn, you are amazing–and I see it’s a trait that runs in your family. I love that story about your mother.
I try to keep in mind that if my kid is talking to me about who she loves in what proportions, that’s good. I don’t know what she’ll be like at 8 or 18 or 28, but I figure if we’re talking, that’s good.