One-issue voter
When it comes right down to it, I vote primarily on the issue of choice. I’m a pro-choice, pro-reproductive rights, pro-sex ed voter because I don’t see how I can be a woman who cares about women and vote otherwise. I don’t see how I can be an adoptive mother who cares about adoption reform without supporting abortion rights. I don’t see how I can be a mother by birth and not understand the toll that an unwanted, unplanned and unsupported pregnancy can take on a woman.
I care about the war and the environment and education and the economy (boy howdy) but the issue that is most important to me is choice period.
So it’s hard for me to understand women who feel otherwise. I just don’t get it. You want to stop abortion? Quit cutting social services. Stop eliminating support for single mothers and teen mothers and families who are struggling. Make birth control more effective and more available. (Remember McCain thinks vaigara should be covered by insurance but not birth control.) Work to bring better sex education to the schools and while you’re at it, set up a daycare there for the teens who get pregnant anyway. (Because it sure looks like whatever we do, some teens will get pregnant anyway.)
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t be against abortion but refuse to do the things that you need to do to make abortion less needed.
But even if all of those prorgrams were in place, I’d still vote on pro-choice issues because ultimately the decision about whether or not to be a parent needs to lie with the woman facing the positive pregnancy test. Only she knows whether or not she’s ready, willing and able to make the sacrifices it takes to be a parent. Anyone reading my blog knows that adoption isn’t the easy-out for any unhappily pregnant women.
We deserve access to ALL of our options. We can have our own conversations with God (as we understand him/her/it). We don’t need the government intervening for us.
Hell yeah, bitches! Did you see Samantha Bee trying to get people at the RNC to say “choice” wrt Bristol Palin. It was so funny. They could say, “It’s her decision,” but they could not say the word choice. That Samantha Bee makes people so uncomfortable in such a deep way.
I wish Samantha Bee was my girlfriend. But isn’t she married to the one guy who isn’t Ron Riggle but who I always mix up with Ron Riggle?
I am reluctantly pro-choice. I grew up in an extremely anti-abortion household; it’s hard to get past the idea that a fetus, no matter how young, is a life when it was so ingrained in me basically from birth on. But, I have come to realize that it’s akin to a religious belief, not something I can prove or foist upon other people. Either way, I agree with your points–it doesn’t make sense to wax rhetorical about being a family- or baby-friendly society when we so clearly AREN’T, at least not for a huge chunk of women who face those positive pregnancy tests. I’d far rather put my time and energy into supporting pregnant women/women with children than worrying about limiting their rights.
But, you know. I’ve tried having this discussion with some people in my life and they just glaze over–they truly don’t. get. it. They really don’t see the disconnect between the lack of support for poor pregnant women, or pregnant women without choices, and insisting that those women carry babies to term. For a lot of them (certainly not all), I really believe it comes down to making the woman “pay” for her choices. That, or they just haven’t thought about the issue very hard.
Meagan, that “pay for her choices” part is why I think that the pro-life platform is inherently anti-woman. But Abby said that better than I can here:
http://sundayswithstretchypants.com/2008/09/03/last-one-i-promise/
i am one of those women who doesnt support abortion. i feel theres a life in there. i feel that earlier and earlier the fetus, and then the embryo will become viable. i realize that this takes away from the right of the woman to control her body, and i regret that, but i think a life is more important.
i also, just for the record, do not support the death penalty.
i just wanted to add that i do support social services for young mothers and birth control, etc.
thanks.
bravo. i completely agree with you.
Yes, I agree with you. Well said.
Every once in a while, I dream about what it would be like not to come down to reproductive rights as my issue. Not because I didn’t care but because it was settled, no longer up for debate. Maybe we could debate how best to support families. Maybe two (or more…this is a dream, you know) parties might vie for my vote with compelling ideas. Sigh.
Forgot to add this before–to be fair, I *do* know some women of very strong convictions about abortion who also do a lot to help women in need and really do walk the talk. Their anti-abortion stances are based on strong beliefs, but they also believe in and fight for the things that make it more possible for women to have their babies. And, IME, they tend to be Catholic. Not sure if that’s just a coincidence or not.
I’ve never had to confront the prospect of an unwanted (or desperately wanted) pregnancy, but I suspect that my daughter may not be able to apply my foolproof method–she seems to be quite interested in boys.
So while I wish I lived in a country where this fight was over and I could vote and organize and lobby on a wide range of family issues…I don’t. There is no issue that is more important to me, because I can’t live with a future for my little girl that forbids or limits the constant advances in reproductive technology that give more women more control over their bodies than has ever before been the case. We just can’t regress into the 50s. My kid deserves better.
Hear, hear! I totally agree.
I think so much of the anti-choice rhetoric is anti-woman and I honestly don’t understand how a woman could support that.
For me it’s also tied up in freedom of religion and most of the anti-choicers want to force their religious views on the rest of us and are intolerant of other positions.
Yup. It really is, I think, my very most basic, hot-button issue. Somewhere in China is a woman who had to–for whatever reason–give up a lovely baby girl. I don’t want that lovely baby girl to end up in that same situation UNLESS *SHE* WANTS IT. Period. Stop.
I want other women to have the choice my SIL and Sarah Palin had: to test their fetus, find out something is wrong with it, and MAKE THEIR OWN DECISION. Not have someone else make that decision for them.
millie,
i support it because i dont see it as anti female rhetoric. i dont care what or how its worded. i just know what i believe.
meagan francis:
i am not catholic, but i think it is impressive of the religion, at least how i see it, that they are pro-life for both an unborn child and a person on death row.
(i also like confession-sounds like free therapy to me.)
Orrie you think the Catholic pro-life stand is impressive?! This about a religious organization that has been historically responsible for more deaths in the name of God than all others combined. How rich.
I’ve got news for you. Confession wasn’t designed to be free therapy. The absolution of sins by spending five minutes in a closet was born out of necessity.
mia:
i knew someone would react like this.
what i said was two parts of catholicism are impressive. not all of the religion.
and i am well aware that confession wasnt designed to be therapy. i was just throwing in some levity. altho, if i were catholic, i believe i would be taking advantage of confession (and pls dont call me on the taking advantage comment.) i think its a very good thing, what i know about it anyway.
i am a jewish woman. i like these aspects of catholicism.
i also like wakes. jews cant wait to bury their dead. i realize the logic, to get on with your life. but the person just died. why have to start healing so quickly. i think its wonderful to have the person around (ok the body) a little bit longer.
dont get me wrong. i am very proud of my religion. and wouldnt want to change it or have been born any other. but i think there are good and bad in all religions.
A woman’s sexuality is a powerfully terrifying thing. That’s why it’s ok for men to have Viagra, but the bottom line for no birth control/no abortion/no social services/no childcare/no healthcare is this:
Women: Do Not Have Sex.
This is nothing new. Societies all across the board have organized themselves in this lopsided way for lordy only knows how long. Women who have sex are Bad. Necessary,fun even, but Bad. Women who do not have sex are Good. Boring, but Good.
Mia,
Actually confession is no longer done “in a closet”. It’s called reconcilliation and is done face to face, and in fact it can be quiet theraputic. Think of being able to discuss with someone things that trouble you and they give you understanding and sometimes insight. Confession is more about forgiving yourself, than god forgiving you.
Also, there are numerous churches who engage in holy wars in the name of god. Catholics haven’t got a market on it.
Oh, and I’m completely a pro-choice Catholic. For myself, I can’t decide when life begins, so that makes abortion a fuzzy issue. I don’t think any of us can prove when life begins, so I remain firmly prochoice. I am firmly pro-life on all other aspects (war, capital punishment, etc.)
I totally understand the pro-life stance in regards to abortion. If I genuniely thought you were murdering someone I would want it to be illegal. I think reconcilling yourself to the fact your views are not likely to followed has got to be sad. That said, I find most of the protests by pro-lifers to be distasteful and anti-productive. I do wish that we all could work together in some sort of common ground way to help prevent more pregnancies, take care of women and children, and realize sometimes the only solution is a safe and legal abortion.
Confession isnt done in a closet? Where?
In my area it still is. Course, this area is staunch conservative catholic (largely Irish, Polish and Italian). People often overlook the fact that catholicism - like ice cream -comes in a variety of flavors. I had no idea of this myself until I escape my parish and visited others (as a younger woman. These days I am a Recoverying Catholic / Agnostic by choice)
Religion, like beauty, is in the eye or soul of the beholder. Always up to interpretation, a new bible, a new priest, a new way of thinking.
For many, like me, that were raised in the conservative catholic venues that banned the whores who had sex out of wedlock and conceived children, there was no reconciliation. There was only a lifetime of penance for having sex with a man I loved and conceiving his child. That penance was not a few hail marys said at the altar but rather surrendering my child to adoption to make myself good with god and insure my child was better off with strangers than her loose mother. Abandoning my child to strangers was my passage into heaven.
Clearly, I have serious issues with reproduction and religion.
I am sitting in Mia’s pew. (LOL)
Why on earth the Reps. think that just by having a woman VP, it will replace those who supported Hillary is beyond me! You are right, when it comes to the issues. Choice is a major part of being American. This country was founded on the idea that there was a freedom of choice. Palin doesn’t embody choice, but her choice.
Just maybe if she supported Sex Ed, then her daughter would have been well informed about the consequences of sexual acts. Just maybe she would have chosen not to engage in sex. Clearly the idea of abstinence did not work in her daughter’s case. As I don’t think the children are up for political fodder, I do think any stance on no Sex Ed is a limited view point and takes away the idea, once again, of choice. At least make a choice that is informed, instead of ignorance.
This is only one thought of mine regarding the upcoming elections…
Me too Dawn. I don’t know that I could say I’m primarily a pro-choice voter, but I am a rights voter. I vote so that I will be free, to make decisions for myself. That includes the right to control my own body, to read what I choose, to think what I choose, and to say what I want to. And, like some others, I believe this even more strongly now that I am a mother.
And, I think that believing that the cells/embryo/baby/child is a human being only gives one the moral authority to try to convince a woman to bear the child, not to force her to do so by law.
In fact, I have to wonder, if the hope that the anti-abortion folks have that they might be able to outlaw abortion actually hinders to goal of reducing it. If one reads stories of abortion: http://www.imnotsorry.net/, what I can see that it is a difficult decision for many. Some women might indeed choose to bear a child, if they were offered appropriate supports. I support a woman’s right to choose an abortion, but I also fully support her right not choose an abortion, and would want to do everything I could for that decision to be free, and not decided for the woman.
I have been thinking about this so much lately. The choice issue is so primary for me. Adrienne Rich has this wonderful poem called “Hunger” where she says:
“The decision to feed the world
is the real decision. No revolution has chosen it. For that choice requires that women shall be free.”
And that’s what it comes down to for me. Without choice women are as good as enslaved. The chains are our own bodies.
And choice is not just about abortion. It’s about access– to good information, to birth control, to financial resources.
Dawn, the thing that’s driving me nuts right now is that people that are so strong on adoption reform are all of a sudden saying, well, it’s not THAT big a deal - because their candidate (McCain) is likely going to take things in a less than desirable direction.
If I choose to vote based on a candidates stance on adoption reform or women’s rights, it’s JUST as valid a reason as anyone else’s. I have a vote and I’m getting tired of being told that my reasons aren’t good enough.
I’ll deal with taxes and whatever else comes my way - but my reproductive rights are non negotiable!
Thanksgivingmom, I’m with you — adoption reform and reproductive rights go hand in hand. That paternalistic view is exactly what goes into the worst of the adoption industry and it’s what McCain has in spades.
I’d like to think I’m not a one-issue voter. But time and again I get hung up on reproductive choice (in its myriad forms). It’s so connected to other fundamentals for me: equality for women, the role of government in a pluralistic society, what responsibilities we have toward our neighbors who are struggling. The anti-abortion position is too often caught up with a “dig yourself out of your own mess,” anti-feminist, “this is a Christian country with Christian values” sort of vibe. Reproductive choice is kind of the tip of an iceberg.
Dawn, thank you for posting this. I want to cosign on all points. I have had birth control fail me more than once. I have had an abortion, a miscarriage, and a child. I personally could not have another abortion. But I will defend any other woman’s right to do so, as long as I live.