Bribing my kid
Somebody was calling Brett’s cell phone all night last night and he couldn’t just turn it off because he uses it as his alarm clock so we are wicked tired. It’s 10am and I’ve been up for a little less than five hours already so I sent Noah off on his bike to get me a Diet Coke from the CVS at the edge of our neighborhood. (See, the real reason we moved here isn’t just so Noah could walk to the library and have a paper route and other Mayberry things but also so he could fetch and carry for me.) He just got home with Skittles to split with Madison, which is the bribe — he can keep the change and buy a treat.
So I’m on the phone with Abby – work stuff, totally not a fun conversation because we are serious workers — and she mentions her kids are just waking up and haven’t even had breakfast and I, of course, take the opportunity to tell her what a lousy mother she is what with it being 10am and her kids not having eaten. (She selfishly goes for a run every morning when she could be at home grinding her own wheat for homemade pancakes and I think it’s high time someone called her on it.) Then Noah pointed out — mouth full of Skittles — that he hasn’t had breakfast either.
Yes, I made my 11-year old ride to the store on an empty stomach to buy me my drug of choice and then placated him with Skittles. (snicker)
Just wait til he is a teenager and can drive. It’s a whole new world of “fetch” for mom.
And weren’t Skittles considered a fruit by the Reagan administration for federally funded school lunches?
HA! So there. You’re just as bad a mother as I am. And that’s why we’re friends. I like everyone around me to be just as mediocre as I am.
Sounds about right.
What kind of terrible mother are you?? heh.
I just spent the whole morning bribing L with jelly beans to try to get her to pee in the potty.
Ha…horrible mothers you are…I got up at 6:00 a.m. yesterday to make my daughter eggs w/ chorizo and hot cocoa! There!
(because it was the 1st day of school and she had been getting up all summer to make her own breakfast…sometimes she even made enough for me….any room in your “mediocre” mother’s club?LOL)
So much for winning that Mother of the Year award for ‘08.
Every time I need a little errand like that run, I slap my forehead and say, “Dang it! WHY did I forget to have children??”
Of course, if I had children, they would be elderly by now, and not running my errands.
Aah at last, someone else who believes in the same type of parenting as me… teaching children to become self sufficient as soon as possible.