I am just swamped
Jun 2, 2008 Writing, work work work
I’m doing research on an assignment and have barely had a chance to look up and notice what a beautiful day it is. (And once I did, I took my printouts and highlighter outside to work.) I just don’t have time to blog today but wanted to check in and wave hello to the internet.
Brett is scrubbing the third new-to-us grill he picked up off the curb to bring it back to its natural beauty. We’ll have BBQ tonight! Ok, tomorrow maybe. It’s pretty grimy.
Noah is talking to his cousin for hours and hours on the phone.
Madison is “helping” Brett, shouting over to her playmate who lives a few doors down, and eating popsicles.
That’s the state of our union.
By the way, I am being evsicerated over at Pajamas Media. Don’t worry — I don’t take the condemnation of strangers to heart. But if you are a blogger with attitude and a mighty pen AND you don’t mind insults from total strangers (hint: don’t read the comments — they’re a lot easier to take if you just stay ignorant), let me know and I’ll hook you up with a contact open to pitches. Yes, it’s paid (not much but it’s pay) and timely is important.
June 2nd, 2008 at 1:36 pm
I’m awesome at not reading comments.
E-mail me. I’m not big up on extra time right now but if it floats my boat, I’ll set sail.
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:26 pm
I’m absolutely stunned by the audacity of some of those comments. Stunned.
I will say it’s very hard for me not to read comments. Why, yes, I *do* look at car wrecks on the side of the highway. Why do you ask?
If I had a slightly thicker skin, I might be interested.
June 2nd, 2008 at 2:43 pm
I stopped reading after the second “Dawn Friedman is a bad parent.” I figured probably no one was going to say anything that would make me go, “Hmmm, what a well spoken argument that sheds new light on another point of view.” ‘Cuz, you know, I feel pretty strongly about how I’m handling it but a well reasoned argument to the contrary is certainly a valuable part of discourse! (Even if it doesn’t make me change my mind!)
Spyderkl, if you wrote something that was less personal maybe it wouldn’t be so difficult? I wrote something on the Texas kids seized from the polygamist ranch, too, and even though the comments were just as ugly, I cared even less.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:40 pm
jesus, who are those people? and why are they so unanimous in their condemnation? i did read the comments and was totally baffled and appalled. girl, you got some good thick skin there.
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:54 pm
Dawn,
My skin would never be thick enough.
However, are you interested in discussing the post (here or elsewhere)? You really have me thinking . . .
June 2nd, 2008 at 4:55 pm
I’m with Cynthia, who are these people? Indeed, you are not missing out on any well-reasoned arguments. It could almost be entertaining reading if it weren’t such a disturbing reflection of what is probably the majority view on interracial adoption. The justification on why it’s not racist to charge less for black babies is especially bothersome.
June 2nd, 2008 at 5:32 pm
Abebech, I talked about it before here:
http://www.thiswomanswork.com/adoption/my-antiracist-parent-post-this-month/
After the antiracist post went up about it. But I’m not going to have time to discuss much of anything this week (I have a big project and a small project due Friday and I’m going on-site for the next three days for a client). So if you comment and I don’t respond, it’s not because I’m insulted/dismissive/anything else negative! Just too busy!
June 2nd, 2008 at 8:05 pm
Send me to ‘em…I need to thicken my skin some more.
You are such a role model, Dawn. That you can write all this and take in the negative and keep on chugging.
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:29 pm
I just posted something over there.
June 2nd, 2008 at 10:52 pm
Hi everyone,
I’m Dawn’s editor at PJM and I’m to blame for all this.
I, too, admire her thick skin. I certainly don’t agree with all of our commenters - but I also don’t think the blogosphere should be an utterly polarized place where everyone just preaches to the choir.
Even though PJM is on the righty side of the blogosphere, we make a real effort to include a wide variety of points of view.
If other thick-skinned writers want to get in touch with me, I invite you to do so. We are always looking for excellent writers who can write on timely issues in a compelling voice like Dawn.
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:38 am
Allison, I knew when I decided to keep the personal aspect you originally asked for (instead of talking more generally about the fee structures) that I’d be in for it because I was somewhat in for it even among folks I know and love at antiracist parent. Even though I’m not up for reading the comments, I figure it’s brought to light something a lot of people didn’t know about and that’s always a good thing.
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:46 am
I just read. Interesting. Seems like a lot of folks that are truly madly deeply clueless about the adoption industry. Lots of typical christian types wanting to saving the world, lots of folks in denial of racism, etc.
I also think to truly appreciate what you wrote the person needs to know more about not only the industry but you. I completely agree with you. I would take the same approach. But I am an honest person. I deal in reality. Not adoption induced fairy tales.
There is a dark, ugly, underside to the American Adoption Industry. Takes a strong stomach to see it and see how we, Americans, are contributing to it both here and abroad.
Those jokers over at that article need to read up on Seymour Kurtz. Oh, the stories I could tell about that guy and his baby brokering agencies.
And for the record? My daughter KNOWS she was a purchased child and the only reason her parents were able to adopt her (and buy a house at the same time) was becuase they one the lottery.
Money needs to come OUT of adoption. It commoditizes our children and is used to continually coerce and intimidate expectant mothers.
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:48 am
(sorry for all the typos there!)
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:23 am
Oh, Dawn. You made the Internatz angry!
seriously. As soon as I read the first “Dawn is sick (etc.)” comment I actually laughed.
Seems some people just refuse to let go of the notion of adoption as rainbows and butterflies. Some also focus on a less significant part of a post that makes them uncomfortable and magnify it out of proportion to justify dismissing the entire thing. As if you are seriously going to discuss your daughter’s adoption, any portion of it, in less than a compassionate, thoughtful, respectful, and appropriate way.
I betcha more than one person slinging insults on there went to Church on Sunday and congratulated themselves on being mighty fine Christians.
The irony completely escapes them.
Sending you some love.
June 3rd, 2008 at 8:28 am
Coco, that’s the part that frustrated me there and at the original antiracist parent post. Like I’m going to introduce it to Madison out of the blue and out of context. Like the cliche of the mean bio parent who blurts out angrily, “You were an accident!”
June 3rd, 2008 at 10:54 am
I loved the article Dawn. I could feel your pain at having to tell Madison the ugly truth vs her right to know her own story.
I read all the comments over there and they are sickening. Every other post is racist! And ignorant! I can’t even pull it together enough to address all the ignorance over there. They probably don’t even believe black people can read, let alone write out an intelligent comment.. maybe I will post over there.
You’re a brave woman to post over there. I’ll read whatever you write but I don’t ever plan on going to that site again.
June 3rd, 2008 at 3:59 pm
I couldn’t stomach many of the comments either. Yuck. I have a ton of respect for you as a writer, and a mama, to put all that out there and hold your ground. Inspiring…thank you!
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:42 pm
I had to comment. Their focus on your parenting decisions kinda missed the point, no?
June 3rd, 2008 at 4:45 pm
Suz, I’m glad you commented. But I stopped reading after about comment number eight. It was making my head hurt and I knew if I read more, it’d really start getting to me.
June 3rd, 2008 at 5:05 pm
Thanks Kenya. Thanks for loving the piece and thanks for taking the time to tell me!!
June 3rd, 2008 at 6:21 pm
I have to say Dawn, you are casting your pearls before swine over there. I don’t think 98% of those commenters really understood a word you said.
One amused me though–that if you tell Madison about the fee schedule “We” will just have “one more black person with a chip on her shoulder.”
Save “us” from that terrible fate, Dawn! Just don’t tell Madison about racism and maybe she won’t notice!
June 4th, 2008 at 8:03 am
Hey, if I can handle the Safe Haven critics that call me an abandoner that “allegedly” loves her child I think I can take just about anything.
To be honest, I almost like the comments, but hey, I was a speech and debate major. They just rile me up.
I could have gone all kinds of crazy on some of the things people said to you though….and when I have time to take notes as I read them and respond I just might! ((((hugs)))))