I agree with most of what you said, especially the last paragraph. But I have to speak to the quote above. I have direct experience with Bethany as a pregnant single woman, an interim foster care provider and an adoptive mother. Bethany was not like that for me in my situation. When I was pregnant and single I always felt they respected me and supported my decision making. I did not place my baby for adoption, I raised him. Fifteen years later I was working with Bethany again as an interim care mother. I adopted two sons through Bethany as a single mother. Although I respect other women who did not have the same experiences I have had with Bethany, and I hear what they say about their experiences, I must say that single pregnant woman were not seen as a problem to the Bethany staff I have worked with.

But again - “Adoption reform wouldn’t have solved things for Mama Rose because what she needed was so much more than adoption reform has to give. Adoption policy is a small piece of a big bad mess we’re living in. The whole mess needs cleaning up. Some people are going after the big ugly tangle of -isms that made Mama Rose’s decision inevitable and some of us are trying to clean up the edges — the policies informed by that big ugly tangle of -isms.

We get accustomed to not seeing the mess that underlies some of our most easily held assumptions and discussions like the ones we have on blog force us to look at what’s happening underneath.” AMEN to that.