Comments on: Unadoption in Nebraska

By: Dawn

Dawn — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:27:50 +0000

Kimberly, in Ohio (where we are) once she signs there’s no turning back unless she can prove coercion or that she was lied to in order to force surrender. Parents (here) have 90 days to contest their relinquishment of parental rights. I dont know if this woman filed within her legal timeline, if she did then she has a case. (or had a case, I don’t know what happened with it) there’s a huge difference between her filing her claim during the time in which she is legally allowed to do so and this idea that years later she’d have a claim.

By: Kimberly

Kimberly — Thu, 18 Sep 2008 15:00:24 +0000

I think this sets a dangerous precedent. After a birthmother signs her relinquishment it needs to be permanent. In Nebraska, where I live, once she signs no turning back.

So if this couple had conceived accidentally years later should their 2 year old have been taken away or should they have been forced to abort their infant to keep their son an only child?

We have an open adoption and we respect and consider our son’s birth mother’s feelings but she does not dictate our lives.

The couple may have been in the wrong but the precedent being set is equally so.

By: h.s. ema

h.s. ema — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 22:31:08 +0000

here is an article that clarifies some points you raise, but raise other questions
http://www.yankton.net/stories/021608/new_247524800.shtml

By: PhoenixRising

PhoenixRising — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 22:26:14 +0000

More facts please?

There is an implied suggestion in the article I read that since it’s up to the b-mom whether her child is placed with a childless couple, she had refusal rights if he didn’t remain an only child. It is unclear to me whether that reflects reality as someone knows it, a bias of the agency, the AP reporter or whatever other influence.

By: Lisa V

Lisa V — Mon, 18 Feb 2008 20:09:33 +0000

We were in a similar place when waiting to adopt. I got pregnant unexpectedly. It was my 6th pregnancy, with the previous 5 ending in miscarriage. I didn’t tell my agency until we saw a heartbeat (about 8 weeks I think). At that point they put our file on hold, and we weren’t shown to any expectant mothers. I didn’t feel the need to tell them before 8 weeks because we were low on the list. If they had happen to call I would’ve told them immediately. And we wouldn’t have been allowed to adopt while pregnant, it was against their policy.

Reading other stuff about this case, it appears the baby is going to be raised by his maternal grandparents.

I think the adoptive parents were wrong. I have a huge amount of sympathy for their desire to have a baby. But they conceived in July and the baby they wanted to adopt was born in November. They should have been honest with everyone and let chips fall where they may. No one would be in this situation now if they had just been honest.

Their biological child was born prematurely and now the parents were dividing their time between both babies in different locations. I think the first family was right to feel this wasn’t the situation they were promised for their child.