Argh
Dec 7, 2007 Adoption
Jed and Cally Nielson of American Fork thought they would be celebrating their first Christmas as a family with newly adopted baby Harvey this year.
But they haven’t even begun purchasing any gifts for their 5 1/2-month-old boy. Besides spending their $25,000 savings on a custody battle, the Nielsons said, they may actually be facing the holiday alone if Harvey is sent back to his birth parents in Idaho.
“We don’t want to just hand him back,” Cally Nielson said. “How could anyone hand their baby back?”
Deseret Morning News | Adoption turns into nightmare
Read the article and you’ll see that the first dad was involved up until “the last couple of months of the pregnancy” so it’s not like he abandoned this baby. Also the agency informed the Nielson’s that he was contesting the adoption when the baby was only two weeks old. It was a legal-risk adoption and as emotionally painful as it is, that dad has a right to assert his paternal rights.
I don’t understand how anyone can justify this kind of fight — the baby was two weeks not two years old when they found out!!! I think it’s unconscionable.
It’s that last line that kills me. How do they think the dad feels?
Possibly related posts
Tags: Erica
I saw this and it made me think of that
Dec 6, 2007 Read/heard/seen
Christina Katz linked to a youtube mom-song and it reminded me of this great song from Cathy & Marcy: Orange Cocoa Cake. (You’ll have to scroll down to find it!) Seriously — if you’re a parent and have ever tried to have a conversation on the phone with the kids around, you’ll relate!!! And if you don’t have kids and have tried to talk to a friend with kids, you’ll relate, too. (Especially the line towards the end!)
Possibly related posts
Tags: wordpress
The transformation of BRETT
Dec 6, 2007 Family
I was talking about this today with my sister. Since quitting work Brett looks a lot better. Younger, for one, and happier. Calmer, less tired and more present in the family. This life really suits him.
He’s starting to enjoy cooking. He’s developing his signature dishes (mostly chicken and rice variations) and broadening his culinary horizons.
He was always a big help — never the kind of guy to stay firmly in his sphere. He always had some meals he could throw together so he did more than his fair share of cooking and cleaning but he’s been amazed to discover how much more there is to do. Examples:
- Cleaning: He had no idea how much cleaning it takes to keep the house just reasonably straight. We’re not talking eat-off-the-floors clean — just clean enough to walk from one side of the room to the other without tripping. Yes, Madison’s room really does need daily picking up. Yes, dusting once a week is the bare minimum. (He kept insisting that this house is dustier than our last one and I kept saying, “But Brett, I dusted once a week at least! You just never saw what it looked like when I didn’t until now!”) Yes, if you don’t vacuum in the corners fur balls bigger than the dog will quickly develop. He still can’t believe it.
- Cooking: The children have relentless appetites. Said Brett the other day, “I feel like I spend my whole life in the kitchen!” Welcome to homemaking, baby.
- Children themselves: Not only are they always hungry for food, they’re also always hungry for attention. Yes, the little one really will wait outside the bathroom door for you and stick her fingers under to remind you that she’s there. (He’s lucky she doesn’t insist on coming in.) No, they don’t ever stop talking.
He says he finds being home much more physically exhausting but a lot less mentally exhausting. He’s also surprised to find out that he’s not as patient as he thought. Speaking of which, I’m thrilled to find out that I’m not an unreasonable shrew; the kids really can be that annoying!
But I can’t believe the change in how he looks. My sister said he even walks like he’s happier.
What really helped with his transition home was going to Portland to hang with his brother. His brother was a teacher but he quit to be a handyman for his wife’s colleagues (she’s a realtor). He also works on their houses and a rental they just bought and are rehabbing. But when he’s not fixing windows and unplugging drains, he’s cooking and cleaning and caring for kids. (His wife’s job takes precedence so if she’s got things to do he drops his hammer and heads home.) The two of them were comparing notes — what they cook, how they schedule the kids, budgeting and paying for your own insurance. Now that they’ve reconnected they call each other up to compare notes on grocery shopping and retiling the bathroom.
He’s really happy.
Possibly related posts
Today is Thursday
Dec 6, 2007 The Story of My Life
It may seem that I’m stating the obvious but for me Thursday is, you’ll recall, hell day. This is because I take the kids to their homeschool classes so that I can touch base with my homeschool friends. I have a blast. But then I need to come home and settle to work and usually my brain is fried. Then this Thursday Brett has to take his parents to the airport and I think I need him to bring the kids with him because then tonight I’ve got a networking event. In other words, I won’t have time to get any work done between the homeschooling, the brain frying, the airport taking and the networking.
This is what passes for an entry on Thursdays.
Possibly related posts
Tags: homeschool, Homeschooling, networking
Noah weighs in
Dec 5, 2007 Parenting
We got the bilibo in the mail today and since Madison is running errands with Daddy, Noah was able to vet it and spun around in it dutifully. He hereby pronounces it totally fun. I grieve that he didn’t have one at three because I’m sure that I’d never have gotten him out of it. He would have loved it like crazy. I said if he was nice to Madison maybe she would share.