I went walking
That’s the name of a picture book Madison used to like but it’s also what I did this morning. I’ve got a lot of work to do and my head isn’t cooperating so I thought heading out into the slush would help. (I’ll find out if it did after I finish this entry.) I listened to Selected Shorts this morning. It’s on at a ridiculously early hour of the morning Sundays here but I used to listen to it when I fed Madison early early in the morning three years ago so I was happy to find the podcast.
You adoption-oriented readers, you might want to download the one titled “Shattered Peace.” I didn’t think it was going to be adoption-ish from the description but it is. It’s Hope Davis reading The Woman from Hamburg by Hanna Krall. As a memoirist, I was intrigued to hear the story because Krall fictionalizes journalism to create short stories based on truth.
Although the work of the Polish journalist Hanna Krall is billed as nonfiction, it is not surprising that the title story in her collection ”The Woman From Hamburg” appeared as fiction in a recent issue of The New Yorker. Krall’s distinctive style could be called Holocaust gonzo journalism. She reports the basic facts but adds a novelistic twist, weaving her interviews into elegant, multilayered narratives. In Madeline G. Levine’s subtle translation, Krall’s deceptively artless prose speaks of real events with the power of fiction — creating a mysterious fusion she acknowledges in her story ”Salvation”: ”My work as a reporter has taught me that logical stories, without riddles and holes in them, in which everything is obvious, tend to be untrue. And things that cannot be explained in any fashion really do happen.”
From a New York Times book review, which you can read to find out more about what the story is about and it’s adoption connections. But you really need to hear it (or read it).
I keep thinking that what ultimately will redeem (and can redeem) adoption is Truth. Tell expectant mothers the truth. Tell adoptees the truth. Tell adoptive parents the truth. Stop lying to the kids. Give them access to their birth certificates. Quit using adoption as an excuse to lie to children about where they come from. Even when the truth is hard or ugly or painful, it’s still the truth and adoptees deserve the truth. There are no white lies in adoption.
Thanks for that last paragraph. Truth. I think that’s what I’m going to tell my friend I emailed you about
[for anyone reading this comment: I have a friend whose 4 year old son goes part time to my son's tiny school. I've been to her house and she told me, after I foolishly exclaimed that it must have been hard to have 15 years between children, that he was adopted and that they know the birthmother, who was their friend, she handed over the baby when he was 28 days, it seems. I was glad that they knew here and that was when she told me that the boy didn't know he was adopted... hmmm yeah, I know. He's Asian like his parents so he "doesn't look" adopted]
Truth *really matters* where adoption is concerned. I’ll tell them that and let them know about the book that you suggested (Pavao’s _The Family of Adoption_). Oh, and I forgot to tell you Dawn that she is actually Chinese and only grew up in Thailand. Her husband is Indonesian. I’m sure those countries have their own baggages regarding adoption and I have no idea what they are. Another thing I learned last week, about Indonesians at least, is that they value having sons very much. That couple has only one daughter (in college this fall), so this son must be precious to the daddy and that must make it harder for him/them to face the hardship of telling him the truth. That, and the fact that they know the first mother, that she used to be their friend and can get in touch easily. I didn’t talk to her yet and I don’t know when an opportunity will present itself. It’s such a tough, delicate situation!