I think my feed is working now
I got notice from a few of you that it was down but I think it’s back up. And I went ahead and stopped sending just a partial feed because I just couldn’t stomach it. Seems hypocritical when I wish everyone in the world sent full feeds (but appreciate why they don’t).
I love this post up at Julia’s. She and I sometimes find parallels between adoption and raising special need kids; I could certainly identify with her post here.
I do think all of the talk around their disease allowed Gage the freedom to say whatever he wanted and that freedom helped with his anxiety. I think he felt safe to share with me. Often times they were one liner comments, because he is a boy of few words when expressing himself, but those words were enough. He’s coped remarkably well, all things considered, with his big life and I’m extremely proud of him.
A lot of times Julian would cringe when I spoke so bluntly with the kids (he’s better now, used to it or has given up worrying about it, I am not sure which one) and I would look at him very self-assured, like I knew exactly what I was doing. Of course, I didn’t know if it was right at the time, but it felt right. I was just going on intuition really. Sometimes when you are navigating a sensitive issue with your young child it’s best just to do it on gut feeling. Luckily for me I was listening to the little voice in my head because I believe that for our kids it is the best approach.
I think sometimes that having an open adoption does make for more challenges younger. And certainly having a transracial adoption can highlight some adoption challenges younger. But I also think that kids are more resilient younger and that it’s easier to incorporate the truth when you’re three then to have it blind-side you when you’re older. Madison does have to deal with some pretty big issues for a 3-year old but she doesn’t take it all in now — she circles back sometimes and looks at it from new angles. Still her adoption is always there, always open, always honest and we meet her questions as they come.
Yes! It feels very similar sometimes.
And for the record, I learn a lot from your approach too. I know that for me I just had to steam roll over Julian where this was concerned, and I guess he just gave in, because he couldn’t come up with a good enough argument…and would admit that many times.
i also see the parallels raising a child with medical issues (diabetes). i know i’ve raised that here before.
being open with her and people around her does raise more questions than if we kept it quiet. i feel strongly that this way, she knows we are accepting of her for who she is, that there is nothing wrong or embarrassing or shameful about her.
what had been interesing lately is that as she grows and matures, the issues change in a nuanced way, which is a challenge to figure out the best way to deal with.