I’m behind on email
If you’ve written me and I haven’t written back it’s because I haven’t had time to give your email the attention it so richly deserves! You know how yesterday I took off? Today I’m accidentally taking off, too. Brett is back at my dad’s still painting and Noah is still at his playdate (it turned into a sleep-over). Madison is dancing to Jack’s Big Music Show right now, thus allowing me to update my blog but that’s it. There won’t be any time for work. Hopefully tonight because I really want to work on my friend’s new wordpress site and I could always be working on my chapter. But this afternoon will be about niece Lucia’s 3rd birthday party!
I’m trying to figure out if my state of grouchiness is PMS or related to a need to change some behavior. I’m leaning toward the former. Plus I need to exercise. Brett took me off couch to 5k because he thinks I need to walk some being that my shinsplits are so damn bad. I think they’re worse because I’ve been limping to semi-limping for a year. (And my toe? Still hurts if I step on it wrong so I have to concentrate to walk correctly but in a way that doesn’t hurt it — in other words, I still catch myself semi-limping.) Walking is less fun that “jogging” (I put that in quotations because one could not call what I do actually jogging). I’ve been downloading podcasts to ease the boredom.
Ok so it’s PMS and the need to walk, this grouchiness. Also that sage burning we did when we first moved in didn’t seem to work. The house seems to be living in its own state of grouchiness. I told you all about the bad dream I had about the guy who lived here? Let me find it in my archives. Here it is.
We’ve since found out that the man who lived here wasn’t nice in lots of other ways, too, like poisoning the dogs belonging to the neighbor behind us. And we both still feel him here. I don’t know if he’s dead, which is to say I don’t think we’re being haunted — I think it’s left-over bad energy. (I’m not a woo-woo person so writing this, I’m kinda cringing but it’s what we’re feeling about the place.)
Our last house had been a rental for the past 20 years and it felt blank to us — no matter what we did, the house seemed neutral. Friendly but neutral. This one feels like it wants to be friendly but can’t quite let itself. Anytime we do any home improvements, we notice an immediate positive difference. But it still feels … off.
I’ve got a friend who might know some house clearing people (that’s clearing not cleaning) and I’m thinking about it. Except it’s hard to rationalize what with our current budget freeze. But I tell you — we think about moving all the time even though this house has many things we love and it’s in a location that’s perfect and even though there’s no way we could afford to move and the house needs too much work to put it on the market anyway. But still, we think about it a lot. And that makes us sad because we loved our old house right up until the end despite it being small, cramped, without insulation and in a location that was no longer working for us.
Huh. I love to give unsolicited advice, but I’ve got nothing here.
I hope it gets better; that sounds hard.
I know exactly what you’re talking about. Our house that we’re trying to sell was just a repository for the former and only other owners’ negativity. They’re still alive as well…and incredibly miserly from what we hear. There’s just this patina of “not enough” that we can’t seem to get rid of. I’ve burned so much sage and sweetgrass in that house, it’s ridiculous. I had a wreath of sage that I literally put on a plate, lit, and let burn for hours with the windows closed while we worked out in the garden. The place felt lighter for about a week, but that was it.
I have no idea how to get rid of it when it’s energy of someone still living. I’ve asked it to move on. Still there. Weird.
good luck.
Sage is good, but you may just need to up the ante a little bit. (This is definitely woo woo, but cheaper than moving!)
First, make sure that everything the former owner left in the house is gone, gone, gone. No leftover paint, no boxes in the attic, etc.
Then, with a sage stick, do the following:
–beginning at the front door, walk clockwise through the house and clockwise through each room with the sage burning. At every door and window, stop, say what it is you want to banish, and draw a star starting from the bottom left to the top. Do the same in the center of each room.
–Do it again with salt water, flicking little bits around the edges of the rooms and even drawing the star on the doors and windows and floors.
–Do it again with incense that smells really good to you, saying instead what it is you want it to be like and drawing the star from the top to the bottom left and around that way.
Consider doing it around the perimeter of the property, too.
You may have to do this periodically for a while until the house gets that you and it are okay and even good. It’s kind of like chiropractic adjustment–often for a while and then less and less often until everything is where it should be.
It sounds like he was seriously a piece of work!
NB–Sorry, walk counterclockwise with the sage and the salt water, and clockwise with the incense!
I find your story, and the one you linked to from your archives, fascinating. I wonder what would happen if you were able to make him some sort of ‘house story’ about how ‘his’ house is doing now? That is, if he’s still alive. He may miss the being there because it holds happy memories. Just a weird thought, for a weird situation! If you know a Catholic priest, maybe he could come and do a house blessing.
I haven’t been around as much…just wanted to let you know that although I haven’t been posting I always send you good positive vibes whenever I read about your efforts (both in terms of prospective work and parenting)…just wanted to send you some virtual hugs…no real reason.
Tell your PMS to go take a hike and that I think you are a resourceful, creative and intelligent woman so to ease up on you or else!
p.s. A few years ago I would have totally called you “woo-woo” but then I got the strangest feeling in a house I walked in…opposite of what you are going through…like I “belonged” there. It was weird. After that I can’t call people who feel a certain energy about a home “woo-woo” anymore! Heck…I carried the picture of that house w/ me for a long time.
Thank you, Pronoia! I’m going to try this!! After we heard about the dog poisoning we got rid of *a lot* of stuff of his in the basement but I know we need to do another run-through.
Thanks Angela! I don’t know why I’m feeling so discouraged right now but sure hope it’s hormones so it’ll GO AWAY.
Old Voodoo ritual to keep the bad energy and spirits away: Use a straw broom and sweep the walls with a combination of water and bay rum (mop the floors with it too). It smells spicy good.
A man hung himself in the last house we lived in, about 15 years before we lived there. Whenever I got that creepy feeling, I talked to him, told him I didn’t want his sadness leeching into my life, this was my house now, etc. I thought it probably would have sounded crazy to anyone listening, but it made me feel better.
P.S. Thanks for stopping at my place and hello back at you! I’m surprised we haven’t met.
Oh Dawn, this is so spooky! The previous post (which I dimly recall reading, but didn’t have any reactions to it at the time — I didn’t write a comment) is even spookier, yikes! Now your worries about the house resonate with me since I found out a few weeks ago that our house was sold because the couple who owned it got divorced.
You could also try altering the feng shui of the house - there are good diy fung shui books available from most public libraries, the addition of plants and mirrors in strategic positions could make a difference.
i’m a long-time lurker coming out of the shadows to recommend the book “chi running” by danny dryer to help you with your shin splints. he writes about running form and the mental aspect of running. before i read his book, i thought my own injuries might put a stop to my running program, but the adjustments he suggested made my runs much easier on my body.
Thanks, jeneb! I’m going to go reserve it at the library right now!!
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