Comments on: Anyone have thoughts to share? http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2007/08/30/anyone-have-thoughts-to-share/ dawn friedman's blog Tue, 02 Dec 2008 23:32:25 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: spyderkl http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2007/08/30/anyone-have-thoughts-to-share/#comment-5871 spyderkl Fri, 31 Aug 2007 16:16:02 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=1574#comment-5871 I wish I could offer some advice, but we're not exactly the ones to ask about first fathers these days. I'd get out of the way as quickly as I could, if it were me. Being in the middle can be tricky at best; if there's any way to avoid it, do just that. Man, that's difficult. Suz sounds like she has the best idea; talk to everybody to establish ground rules and boundaries, then let him take things from there. I wish I could offer some advice, but we’re not exactly the ones to ask about first fathers these days.

I’d get out of the way as quickly as I could, if it were me. Being in the middle can be tricky at best; if there’s any way to avoid it, do just that.
Man, that’s difficult. Suz sounds like she has the best idea; talk to everybody to establish ground rules and boundaries, then let him take things from there.

]]> By: suz http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2007/08/30/anyone-have-thoughts-to-share/#comment-5870 suz Thu, 30 Aug 2007 20:32:31 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=1574#comment-5870 ugh. no. well, maybe. first, i forgot my id there. remind me and i will happily post it there. i feel for her as i know the strain of being the monkey in the middle of a child and a first father. i always recommend honesty and openness. tell fdad how she feels, what her fears are. tell adoptive parents the same. maybe have a group meeting with all to discuss boundaries and such. dad has a right to know his kid and change his mind from what he felt/said before adoption too place. men are no different than women in adoption trauma. dad should not be punished for past behaviors but be rewarded for current positive ones. wish her well. ugh. no. well, maybe. first, i forgot my id there. remind me and i will happily post it there.

i feel for her as i know the strain of being the monkey in the middle of a child and a first father.

i always recommend honesty and openness. tell fdad how she feels, what her fears are. tell adoptive parents the same. maybe have a group meeting with all to discuss boundaries and such.

dad has a right to know his kid and change his mind from what he felt/said before adoption too place. men are no different than women in adoption trauma. dad should not be punished for past behaviors but be rewarded for current positive ones.

wish her well.

]]>