this woman’s work

It never rains but it pours

May 29, 2007 Homeschooling, Parenting

Now I have three appointments tomorrow — two work-related and one braces-related (did I mention that Noah got braces?).

Speaking of Noah, he’s in his fifth year of baseball, playing for the same team on which he started as a wee t-ball player. Back then he hung back and watched the other boys scramble for the ball, perfectly content to ride out the game for the great reward of snack at the end. (Transfats he never got at home made after-play snack especially satisfying.) We kept him in it for the fun and the socializing. Plus the coach was a terrific, boisterous kindergarten teacher whose son was on the team. He would run across the field to flip kids up when they made a good play and he’d also admonish coaches on the other teams for getting too competitive.

I loved that Noah got cheered for doing the best Noah-job, which meant if he so much as leaned towards the ball, the coach made a happy fuss over him. (When asked why he didn’t go for the ball himself he shrugged saying, “The other boys want it so much.”) The coach never made Noah feel like he was falling short for not being more aggressive and Noah kept on loving baseball, even if it was mostly about the generic twinkies at the end of each game.

And in my mind, that was Noah and baseball: dreamy (although not as dreamy as the boy who actually lay down in the outfield to pick dandelions during games), noncompetitive and happiest sitting on the bench eating snacks with friends.

This year they have a new coach who is equally low-key and encouraging but we seem to have a whole new Noah. This Noah goes out and pitches at his pitch-back net. This Noah hustles for the ball. This Noah volunteers to bat. And you know what? This Noah is pretty damn good.

It’s made me think about how easy it is to make the mistake of nailing my kid down while he’s still growing. Noah used to be retiring, nearly shy. He avoided people and was easily rattled. Now he’s confident, even assertive. From a boy who could barely look up at a waiter asking for his order he’s grown to someone who’s happy to order for the whole table, including special requests. I was perfectly in love with the small, quiet boy he was and wouldn’t have ever seen his retiring demeanor as a fault but I know that life is easier when you can speak up for yourself and can at least play the go-getter. Seeing him coming into his own with confidence and at his own pace means so much to me.

Brett and I both think it’s the homeschooling, truly. I know we can never know but keeping him home really let him manage all of this at his own pace and I can’t help but feel smug. You know, like I invented him. I’m just so proud of how he’s inventing himself.

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