Two days off
May 28, 2007 work work work
For the first time in about five years I took two days off from computer work. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t on the computer — I was playing puzzle games with Noah — but I didn’t do any work. None! See, when I was at the magazine one of my jobs was managing the huge, hormone-raged message boards and I had to log on every day and scan the boards to ward off flamewars. Holidays were always crazy because everyone was off work and they took the long weekend to accuse each other of child abuse. I remember not too fondly two Christmases ago when I spent the evening of the holiday meticulously documenting the woman who I kicked off and who then proceeded to send me a multitude of emails calling me a (and I quote) “lesbian c*nt” and then one day later threatened to sue me and two days later begged forgiveness and asked to be reinstated and then three days later created a new ePreg ID with a different IP address and went back to calling people child abusers ’til one of her minions decided to switch-sides and alerted me to her new ID.
Even on my vacations in Florida, even on weekends, and especially on holidays I logged on every single day. Every day. Every single day. I didn’t take time off when Madison came home. I’d go to the library to check if my internet was down. It’s not that my bosses cared that much when I logged on — it was just that if I missed something it would escalate in a matter of hours and then my job was that much harder.
Message boards have cycles and this message board’s cycle was that there’d be a group of people all pregnant at around the same time. They’d become BFF and eventually as newbies came on, would get frustrated with said newbies and they would 1) harasses newbies; and 2) start their own message boards in a huff where newbies were NOT ALLOWED. (Yes, these were grown women — why do you ask?) So all the people with their own boards would make little blinkie badges and pixie-fairy icons and funny slogans to show they were all on the same board. Kinda like the popular kids lunch table in middle school. Anyway, if one of the ringleaders of the new board got in trouble for flaming on our board (and for the record, many people with private boards were discreet, thoughtful and helpful but then a handful of loud-mouthed folks were decidedly not) they’d go back to their private board and say, “Gang up on that member who got me in trouble because I victimized her, for which I am not responsible since she’s a b*tch.” A couple of times people said specifically, “Let’s bring down the message boards!” And they’d launch a full-scale flamewar and then threaten to get me fired for banning their IPs.
Of course they never could get me fired because one glance at the boards and everyone in the home office was super-grateful that they didn’t have to deal with it.
Anyway — I’m really glad not to be doing that anymore even though it paid a whole lot, which is why I stayed on ’til the site sold (and then stayed on for one more month to help with the transition, reluctantly). So you can see why two days off for the first time in five years was fabulous.
May 28th, 2007 at 2:00 pm
And that is exactly why I, for the most part, stay away from message boards/forums. Even though may not be quite that bad, they seem to have similar elements and I got very very tired of that. Even a private forum of certain select people had someone wanting to break off and only certain people coming onto her board and that created a whole WWIII issue. If I’m not there for a long time, I can almost see the I’m-ignoring-you-hair-flips when I do log onto to say “Hello.” Ah well.
*shudder* I give you props for staying with that stuff as long as you did. It couldn’t have been easy. There’s just something about boards that seems to breed that element of clique-ness that gives me the heebie-jeebies.
May 28th, 2007 at 2:11 pm
Oh my stars! This is clearly why I lost interest in forums and message boards after I got over being a newbie myself. I don’t know how you did it for so long. Glad you took two days off together!
May 28th, 2007 at 3:12 pm
Isn’t that interesting… I ran a message board for 3 years (with all the inherent turbulence) and never got paid a dime. I suppose that had something to do with the inherent power imbalance (being an adoptee) - especially back then. No one was interested in hearing from adult adoptees - unless they were a mouthpiece for the NCFA. It sucks being a pioneer.
Fortunately for our mutual well-being, adult adoptees now recognize that we need to take care of each other first. Thank the Goddess it’s working.
May 28th, 2007 at 3:18 pm
I think anyone who administers a message board for an organization ought to get paid. Heck, I thought our volunteer mods ought to have been paid (they got a free subscription to our mag and that was it). It’s incredibly hard work.
I was getting paid for other stuff, too — I managed the web site editorial calendar and secured/edited all content, managed the editorial budget, etc. Originally I was hired to do that and someone else was supposed to do the boards. Then she was gone and I stayed but still no boards. Then they started the boards and around the same time they quit adding to the site content and all I was doing was the message board. It was hell.
May 28th, 2007 at 3:20 pm
It IS hell. No question about it.
May 28th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
Having been on these boards, and the so-called groups that spawn from them, I couldn’t agree more. Over a course of three years, I saw the same thing happen so many times. Some of these women have nothing better to do than to make trouble. Hypocrisy, hormones and hell were all I ever walked away from. I did make some good friends, but we are friends away from the boards and that is where I now stay. Far, far away!
May 28th, 2007 at 3:52 pm
For various reasons, I’ve had to go under the radar for a while. Please email me for the password if you’d like to keep reading.
webmasterATshamelessagitatorDOTcom
May 28th, 2007 at 6:22 pm
Jennifer - “the so-called groups that spawn from [these boards]…” I don’t understand what these are. Could you give an example?
May 29th, 2007 at 11:41 am
Hell on earth. Yikes.