Stuff like this doesn’t bother me
Mar 19, 2007 Adoption
The most incendiary notion in “Baby Love†may be that, for Ms. Walker, being a stepparent or adoptive parent involves a lesser kind of love than the love for a biological child.
In an interview, Ms. Walker boiled the difference down to knowing for certain that she would die for her biological child, but feeling “not sure I would do that for my nonbiological child.â€Â
from Rebecca Walker - New York Times
I figure, why should she feel sure? How can we know about things we haven’t experienced? Just because I doubt I could love any man as much as I love Brett doesn’t mean I deem all second marriages suspect. I feel sure I would die for Madison.
I had a dream when Brett first got news about his lay off about a flood and losing the kids in it. I had lots of dreams like this around then because I was contemplating going back to work and I was feeling afraid of how these big changes would impact the kids. I started having those dreams about losing them, about coming home and finding them gone — typical parenthood anxiety dreams. But in this one there was a flood and I was holding both the kids and realized I had to let one go. And I let go of Noah because I knew he was older and could swim and I cried to him as the waves swirled around him, “Swim to the shore! Swim to the shore!” And I held on tight to Madison because I knew I was her best bet for survival.
I thought of that dream a couple of weeks later when someone asked me (carefully, hesitantly) if my feelings for Madison were somehow less than my feelings for Noah.
The only time those questions bother me is when I think of how they’ll sound to Madison. But there’s no hiding the fact that some people will doubt my love for her and that she will have to grapple with that. I can only hope that I can reassure her or at least fill her up enough that she won’t have (too many) doubts.
Possibly related posts
I am too busy to write
Mar 19, 2007 The Story of My Life
Maybe someday. Meeting tomorrow, meeting on Tuesday. Brett has two more weeks of work and I hope he has some time off before he has to head out into the cold, hard world again. Have I mentioned lately how much I love that man?
Kids are busy busy busy. Madison is into everything and Noah has suddenly become LOUD! They squabble like crazy then cuddle up and read books. I am alternately yelling at them to settle down or gazing at them adoringly.
And the house, she is a disaster. And the laundry, it is overflowing. Ack!
Possibly related posts
Came home to an assignment
Mar 16, 2007 The Story of My Life, Writing
I was very happy to get it — it was a fun one to do. This was for the job that wasn’t — the one I showed up an hour late for? I didn’t get that particular job but they asked if I would freelance, which is actually a better fit for my needs/schedule. I called yesterday afternoon to say, yes, please add me to your rolodex. Then I left for (yet another) networking event and then I came home to an assignment.
Columbus, you may not know, is a fashionable little town. Because of Les Wexner, we have a lot of fashion headquarters here including his flagship, The Limited, as well as his other companies — Victoria’s Secret and Bed, Bath and Beyond — and also Lane Bryant and Abercrombie. Most of the people I know and who I’m meeting doing corporate writing or graphic design have had some connection to one of these fashion companies. (As an aside, I’ve got a friend in fashion PR in NYC who says a lot of his talent comes through Columbus at some point and then at my interview one of the interviewees said that it’s San Francisco, New York and Columbus — who’da thunk?)
I was hoping to put in time to raise my skill-set, my resume and also my street cred. The job was with Lane Bryant and so last night I wrote some web copy for them. And it was fun.
I love marketing writing because you get to be so generous with similes and synonyms and twisted-up clichés. I loved doing product round-ups for ePreg full of enthusiasm and caffeine!
I think I’m going to join last night’s networking meeting. It was with the local chamber of commerce and I really like the idea of being involved more with my community. Also the meeting was extremely well-attended and everyone was having a great, friendly time (I’d credit the open bar and green beer but I was told that every meeting goes that well). I was awfully tired and still fighting an ear ache so was not at the top of my game. In fact, I wouldn’t even say I was at the middle of it. Still I had fun and the diet coke flowing freely at least kept me upright.
This weekend I have to do some book reviews, update next week’s 100 Hats calendar and I hope hope hope to make some inroads on an essay. If I get an assignment, all the better. I don’t know where this will all settle down to but I’m really enjoying the adventure of it all!
Possibly related posts
Tags: essay, networking
Protected: Last post dilemma resolved
Mar 15, 2007 The Story of My Life
I’m sticking with freelancing and talked to the job-that-wasn’t about possible occasional work with them, which would be my best case scenario.
I’m hugely relieved and ready for yet another networking event tonight!!!
Possibly related posts
Tags: networking
Protected: This is not a picture post (job update)
Mar 15, 2007 The Story of My Life
I’m doing this password protected because it’s unprofessional to blog one’s job search unless one does it password protected. So there you go. (For LJ users, it’s friends-only.)
So that interview I blew? Maybe I didn’t blow it because I came back from my friend’s birthday celebration to a message asking me to call them back. Either the HR person hates me enough to call me and turn me down over the phone instead of sending the usual form letter (possible), or they want a second interview (less possible since I interviewed with the four people I’d be working with), or they want another try-out (they already sent me a newsletter to rewrite, which I did), or they want to give me the job. The last three mean I have to make a decision: How much do I want this job?
Pros:
- The job pays more than I hoped to make;
- It has prestige and it’s for a fairly big deal company (although a silly big deal company);
- It would give me some street cred w/corporate work;
- It might be fun;
- I liked the people;
- I’m not getting a whole lot of other offers.
Cons:
- While I was impressed by the salary, another writer I recently met was not. “You shouldn’t walk out your front door than less than [twice what they're offering],” were her exact words;
- I’m making inroads to what I hope will be a more flexible freelance career;
- My friend in the industry says I’m over-qualified for this position;
- It would be really hard to keep up with my meager editing job let alone freelancing (i.e., I’d have to let them go most likely);
- NO BENEFITS (it’s a contract position).
See, if I’m not getting benefits, I want the flexibility of being AT HOME. And if I’m buying my own benefits, I want to make more money. My problem is that I have no idea if the writer I met is right and that I can make more on my own. I talked to another writer today who said that freelancers at her company (”Send me your resume,” she added) make half again as much. But like I said, I haven’t had any other job offers. Then again, It’s only been in the last two weeks that I’ve put any effort into finding work in town.
I have no idea what I look like on paper. I don’t know if my friend is right and if I’m over-qualified. I don’t know if people will pay me twice what they’re asking, I don’t know how much work I can really expect to drum up on my own. I DO know that I like the idea of having flexibility and a lot of different projects. I like the idea of public speaking (I gave a workshop on Sunday and am supposed to do another one probably in June). Really if I COULD freelance and manage financially, I’d much rather do it. So do I take that risk? Do I say to myself, “The fact that they offered you this means that you’re stellar and can hold out for what you really DO want?” Or do I say, “Suck it up; you need a job.”
So this is what I’m thinking on tonight. I’ll have to talk in depth to Brett to figure it out. On the one hand, it seems obvious writing this out that I don’t want this job. On the other hand, how can I turn down a job when I have none? Ack. Well, they haven’t offered it yet and maybe the evil HR person just wants to make me suffer and I can just slunk away and move onto the next thing.