Ack. I didn’t know that such things existed. It’s horrible. I particularly dislike the “I’m Infertile” right across the top. It makes me angry that a woman would be reduced to such a label. And the idea that this lovely company will make all your dreams come true…don’t get me started.
I have not had many of the same experiences as you on your path to motherhood, so my reactions are completely off the cuff. And I possibly don’t understand the nuances. But this ad is hurtful.
I don’t find the ad annoying, I find adoption agencies annoying, if I lived in America I would encourage you all to start a vigilante group with me. : )
All children are our own, all of them. Madison is my own, L. is my own, your children are my own…..We all have a responsibility to love and protect ALL children.
Too simplistic is what I think. Come to us = have a baby.
I don’t know what the statistics are now for fertility treatment. They’re probably higher than when I was going through treatment, but things just aren’t that simple. Of course, for some people, it IS an easy fix. But for a lot of other people, there’s no easy fix, and you go into thinking that “we’ll just do x,” and then end up doing one thing, then another, then another, and on and on and on. There’s something about it that’s a bit addictive because the Dr. is always tweaking things a little bit. “If we change this or change that, then maybe the results will be better . . . ”
There’s just nothing concrete in that ad. Basically all it says is that if you go there, you’ll end up having a baby. And hey, where’s the dad? There’s no man in that ad. Why? Where did he go??
I don’t know. A lot of those ads give me the willies for reasons that are hard to pinpoint.
OK, I figured it out, Dawn. Here’s what a more realistic ad would be like.
Picture somehow, an artist’s rendering of one of Dante’s Circles of Hell. Because yes, that’s kind of how I think of fertility treatment when I do think of it. I actually rarely think of it just because it was all so distasteful, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyways, put that lovely-looking lady, make her bloated from fertility drugs, extra-cranky, bags under her eyes, bitchy from the hormones and stress. Somehow convey that all she can think about is having a baby — obsess, obsess, obsess. Other things may be suffering — work, definitely. Marriage — ?? Sex life — hell, yes! Friendships — possibly.
OK, so she’s in the flames of hell, and trying desperately to get out of them. There are new treatments to entice her, disappointments in various cycles, possible miscarriages, might be the threat of carrying multiples and thoughts of selective reduction.
THEN, and only after she’s gone through this circle of hell, can she come out and have that precious baby at the end. AND that’s only if she’s one of the lucky x% (when I was going through treatment, it was somewhere around 40%) of infertile women going through treatment.
Why am I creeped out by the doll? That is a doll, isn’t it? It kind of hints that “infertiles” are so desperate, they’ll even hold up life-like dolls and smile as if they just took a hit of acid.
RaisingWEG, I just read this in Ruthann Robinson’s essay “Notes from a Difficult Case” about her cancer misdiagnosis:
“According to several studies, the decision whether to sue for medical malpractice is not necessarily related to the degree of the doctor’s negligence or fault, or to the degree of the patient’s injuries, including death.
“Instead, the most consistent variable is something that is named as compassion, caring, or communication.”
I just found a study that showed that (surprise surprise!) whether or not you get a baby out of treatment has a great bearing on how you feel about that treatment further down the road but I haven’t been able to find one yet that looks at “compassion, caring or communication.” Ads like this one and the one that doctor uses in your town show that many REs haven’t figured out that kindness goes a long, long way when working with their clients.
When I think back to infertility treatment, only one thing comes back to mind - seduction. Every treatment was offered with the information about the next step if the treatment failed. There was always a tweak, a new drug, something to keep you hooked. And it just went on and on.
My experience was 20 years ago, so I don’t know if this is still the case. But it’s clear that the marketing is far more direct. Yuk.
"Writing has laws of perspective, of light and shade just as painting does, or music. If you are born knowing them, fine. If not, learn them. Then rearrange the rules to suit yourself."
Ack. I didn’t know that such things existed. It’s horrible. I particularly dislike the “I’m Infertile” right across the top. It makes me angry that a woman would be reduced to such a label. And the idea that this lovely company will make all your dreams come true…don’t get me started.
I have not had many of the same experiences as you on your path to motherhood, so my reactions are completely off the cuff. And I possibly don’t understand the nuances. But this ad is hurtful.
“of your own” gag.
I thought it was an ad for an adoption agency.
Fuck it what can you do? I am infertile.
I don’t find the ad annoying, I find adoption agencies annoying, if I lived in America I would encourage you all to start a vigilante group with me. : )
All children are our own, all of them. Madison is my own, L. is my own, your children are my own…..We all have a responsibility to love and protect ALL children.
Too simplistic is what I think. Come to us = have a baby.
I don’t know what the statistics are now for fertility treatment. They’re probably higher than when I was going through treatment, but things just aren’t that simple. Of course, for some people, it IS an easy fix. But for a lot of other people, there’s no easy fix, and you go into thinking that “we’ll just do x,” and then end up doing one thing, then another, then another, and on and on and on. There’s something about it that’s a bit addictive because the Dr. is always tweaking things a little bit. “If we change this or change that, then maybe the results will be better . . . ”
There’s just nothing concrete in that ad. Basically all it says is that if you go there, you’ll end up having a baby. And hey, where’s the dad? There’s no man in that ad. Why? Where did he go??
I don’t know. A lot of those ads give me the willies for reasons that are hard to pinpoint.
OK, I figured it out, Dawn. Here’s what a more realistic ad would be like.
Picture somehow, an artist’s rendering of one of Dante’s Circles of Hell. Because yes, that’s kind of how I think of fertility treatment when I do think of it. I actually rarely think of it just because it was all so distasteful, but that’s neither here nor there. Anyways, put that lovely-looking lady, make her bloated from fertility drugs, extra-cranky, bags under her eyes, bitchy from the hormones and stress. Somehow convey that all she can think about is having a baby — obsess, obsess, obsess. Other things may be suffering — work, definitely. Marriage — ?? Sex life — hell, yes! Friendships — possibly.
OK, so she’s in the flames of hell, and trying desperately to get out of them. There are new treatments to entice her, disappointments in various cycles, possible miscarriages, might be the threat of carrying multiples and thoughts of selective reduction.
THEN, and only after she’s gone through this circle of hell, can she come out and have that precious baby at the end. AND that’s only if she’s one of the lucky x% (when I was going through treatment, it was somewhere around 40%) of infertile women going through treatment.
Is that better???
Heh — what mom2one said!
Why am I creeped out by the doll? That is a doll, isn’t it? It kind of hints that “infertiles” are so desperate, they’ll even hold up life-like dolls and smile as if they just took a hit of acid.
They should have had her hold up two baby dolls.
There’s an infertility counselor in our local area with a small ad she runs in the paper, advising people of her services.
Some weeks, the ad features a couple in bed, staring at opposite walls.
Other weeks, it features a pair of women’s hands stroking a large, pregnant belly.
I don’t know about you, but when I was infertile and depressed, I ran from photos of pregnant bellies like they would set my eyes on fire.
Not that it has anything to do with this, but I’ve wanted to say WTF? about that ad forever.
RaisingWEG, I just read this in Ruthann Robinson’s essay “Notes from a Difficult Case” about her cancer misdiagnosis:
“According to several studies, the decision whether to sue for medical malpractice is not necessarily related to the degree of the doctor’s negligence or fault, or to the degree of the patient’s injuries, including death.
“Instead, the most consistent variable is something that is named as compassion, caring, or communication.”
I just found a study that showed that (surprise surprise!) whether or not you get a baby out of treatment has a great bearing on how you feel about that treatment further down the road but I haven’t been able to find one yet that looks at “compassion, caring or communication.” Ads like this one and the one that doctor uses in your town show that many REs haven’t figured out that kindness goes a long, long way when working with their clients.
Gross.
I half-way agree with Kim.Kim. Though I do find that ad appalling, I also find adoption agency ads appalling.
When I think back to infertility treatment, only one thing comes back to mind - seduction. Every treatment was offered with the information about the next step if the treatment failed. There was always a tweak, a new drug, something to keep you hooked. And it just went on and on.
My experience was 20 years ago, so I don’t know if this is still the case. But it’s clear that the marketing is far more direct. Yuk.