Christian blogad
I just approved it because I saw it’s the United Church of Christ — I can get behind their welcome even if it ain’t my thing.
Being a homeschooler with a kid named Noah means people assume I’m Christian all of the time. It happened three times in the week before I left for the conference. A lovely woman even bought us a handmade nativity set because she was so impressed with my kids’ behavior at the thrift store. It was one of those gifts you don’t refuse without hurting the giver so I just smiled and thanked her when I realized that there was no getting out of it. (And we have someone in mind who would love to have the set so it’ll all be good — her well-minded intentions will have a happy ending.) It can be awkward.
Noah had to fill out the dreaded family tree assignment in religious school a couple of weeks ago. The form (rightly) assumed Jewishness across generations on at least one side of the family and we couldn’t fill it out. I wrote on the side, “Noah comes from a long line of secular Jews who did little to celebrate their faith” because they were asking questions about family traditions — for birth, for weddings — that no one did even on the Jewish side of my family. At least not that I was aware. My dad got married in a courthouse the second time (to my mom). We had pork sausage with our matzoh brie, my Southern Baptist grandmother is the one who got us kids’ our torahs, my dad got us our mezuzahs for Christmas. I never set foot in a synagogue until I was 30 and trying to convert.
(I write some version of this entry every year around the holidays.)
I have been pretty aggressive about giving Noah Jewish opportunities but I’m not sure if I’ll be as aggressive for Madison for two reasons:
1. She’ll find the path already broken by having an older brother who knows the prayers, the songs, the celebrations;
2. I strongly feel she will need a cultural introduction to christianity because of her African American heritage.
This isn’t to say that I think she (or he) should be Christian (or Jewish) but that she needs a grounding in what Christianity means to Black America so that she knows what her options are. What my kids believe, that’s between them and God (if they choose to believe) but I want them to have choices and I want them to at least know where to go culturally if their beliefs lead them one way or another.
I like being a pluralistic interfaith family even though sometimes (many times) I wish I had more grounding in Judaism.
Hope this isn’t an idiotic question–but why an intro to Christianity, and not Islam? Weren’t African tribes predominantly Muslim?
I definitely understand “why Christianity”, I guess my question is more “why not go deeper into the past than that?” More of a curiosity thing than anything else.
This isn’t about getting to what might be her “true” religion (like going back and trying to figure out what “her people” were way back when — a pretty impossible task IMHO) but more about helping her make her way as a brown-skinned woman in America. *She* will have to decide what her “true” religion is (as will Noah) but I want them to have the tools to contend with cultural expectations.
Practically speaking, I think it’s way more useful for her to have some concrete grounding in African American Christian history (like knowing the language, the songs, the traditions) than it would be for her to have concrete grounding in Islam. I just don’t think hanging out at a mosque is going to serve her as well as a transracially adopted black child.
Also her birth family is (historically — they don’t necessarily practice anymore) Catholic and so that’s part of her heritage and giving her access to that will make it easier for her to forge relationships with her birth family whatever religion she chooses to practice (if she chooses to practice one).
I mean, frankly it’s like saying we should raise Noah Orthodox because it’s more “true” than being Reform but I just want him to access to his cultural heritage, which is easier if he can walk the talk. Likewise with Madison. But Noah can get a pretty cursory introduction to Christianity and still be able to go that way. In talking to other black people, I feel Madison will need a little more than that.
We’re raising Ella in a Pagan-Catholic way. It’s often easy because most of the Catholic traditions come from Pagan roots. One of her BFF is Jewish and I want her to be exposed to that faith as well. Not to mention that we’re pretty sure she was either British or Jewish or both in her past life. She has an accent that doesn’t come from either of us!
Thanks for sharing this. It helps.
I, too, don’t understand why African Americans consider Christianity to have anything to do with their heritage. Why on earth are they so proud of a religion that was forced on them? The Filipinos are the same with Catholicism. I truly don’t understand that.
Hmm, interesting. Munchkin’s birthfather is an African American who just so happens to be Jewish as well. One of the reasons I chose J&D for the Munchkin is because they are an interfaith couple; Jewish and Christian (Protestant) like myself and L (birth father).
I think it’s funny that her religious experience will be the exact opposite of what you are saying for your family. (Not in a mean funny way, just funny. I’m tired. Shh.) J is the one who is Jewish and D is Protestant. Just like I’m protestant and L is Jewish.
Families come in all shapes, sizes and religions.
momsquared - you didn’t specify this, but since the logic follows a little from prior comments, from your remarks it makes just as little sense to try to teach islam to african-americans (or consider it their ‘true’ religion), as in most cases it was just as much a product of colonialism or imposition as christianity was. at any rate, islam in africa is really more of a north african phenomenon traditionally and thus completely irrelevant to anyone whose heritage is further south - and ‘further south’ is the heritage of most slave descendents in this country.
I had this long entry typed out in my head about Islam being no more a “true” religion to African Americans than Christanity, but katie e. already said it for me.
For the record, Lil Liberal and MomSquared:
Christianity is not only indigenous to Africa, its very first EVER sect was begun in Africa. Coptic Christianity is the oldest form of Christianity in world history. The Coptic monks of Ethiopia, in fact, are guarding the Ark of the Covenant (not the Nazis as Hollywood would have you believe).
Islam dates to the 8th century and is therfore much more recent to Africa than Christianity. In Southern parts of Africa, Indians brought Christianity. India also had Christianity in the first century, carried there by the Apostle Thomas (of “doubting Thomas fame). So India also rivals anywhere in Europe for early Christianity.
I don’t think there’s any guarantee that whatever faith or set of beliefs we raise our children with could possibly reflect what they may have experienced in their first families. How each family follows its own path differs within religions, never mind between religions.
I think the best you can do is exactly what you recommend, Dawn. You look at what your children may have experienced in their first families, what the prevalent faiths might be in their ethnic communities, and your own beliefs, and you put it together best you can.
Well, not to wade too deep into these waters, but never mind M’s “African-American” religious heritage, she has a specific religious heritage from J, which is Christian/Catholic.
That having been said, there are black Jews out there for M to emulate, too.
I’m a little tickled at the misconceptions you must field in the homeschooling community, Dawn. I can well imagine!
We struggle with the religion thing, as well. I am Protestant and D. is Jewish. For Rachel, having been born in China, we’ve taken the attitude so far that focusing on and learning about her birth culture was more important than religion, especially since neither one of us are observant in either religion.
We celebrate all the holidays, but I’m starting to think we need more for her … Christmas and Chanukah are celebrations, but have no connection to the meaning of the holidays. Do you make a six-year-old go to Chinese school, Sunday school AND Hebrew school? Probably not. But there’s a need for some info for her, expecially when she pops the question out of the blue, “Mommy, who is Jesus?”
UC of C (United Church of Christ)ROCKS.
I never said anything about Islam.
i dont think that eating pork means youre necessarily a jew who doesnt celebrate her faith.
i would eat pork, if not for the fact that its high in fat (and im fat enough.)
and i dont think that im a better or worse jew than any other.
Wow – heavy thinking – Despite being raised a Catholic and married to a European Lutheran, we struggle with these issues too. In our case, it becomes what flavor of Christianity to practice, and on a broader scale, how to instill respect for all religions and cultures into our son. In practice, we have chosen to attend church, of any flavor, with relatives and friends when visiting or invited but, not typically on our own…though I talk about it.
I do think it’s important that my DS have respect for all religions/belief systems. Let’s say all belief systems that are based on the Golden Rule – which I think is a handy way to differentiate between belief systems and fanatical delusions. In many ways, this simplifies the process. Since most religions take the same or similar moral stands on the most important issues, studying the individual, faith based beliefs, i.e. who is the “ Supreme Being†and who is important in his/her life, becomes a study of culture, not religion. So, in our house, I try to celebrate various different holidays from different religions, with story and song. They vary year to year, with the obvious Christian ones and any that resonate with me or my DS staying each year. Depending on what we are learning, at school or through our social network, we add new ones.
I DO think is important for any child to learn about their culture – whether they live in a family of that culture or not. I’m not sure, though that religion needs to be taught though perhaps rather it is “learnedâ€Â. That is, exposure to people who have a certain belief system encourages curiosity about it. So, IMHO, exposing any African American child to cultural events serves the purpose of introducing him or her to people who can encourage “learning†the religion. BTW – I happen to love Gospel music, so we actually do attend a number of Gospel events when we can and always accept an invitation to church with our African-American friends…which introduces us both to music and Christianity, as it is interpreted in the African-American community.