Comments on: So the pictures are done http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/10/27/so-the-pictures-are-done/ writing, mothering, writing about mothering Sun, 07 Sep 2008 04:02:31 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: etta james http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/10/27/so-the-pictures-are-done/#comment-3422 etta james Fri, 27 Oct 2006 20:04:47 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=1035#comment-3422 Can't wait to see the loveliness--x3. Your gal, she takes a mighty nice picture! Can’t wait to see the loveliness–x3. Your gal, she takes a mighty nice picture!

]]> By: kim.kim http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/10/27/so-the-pictures-are-done/#comment-3421 kim.kim Fri, 27 Oct 2006 19:15:19 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=1035#comment-3421 Did you not want to expalin the situation to the photographer? I think it would have been good advertising for open adoption, he might have a friend or relative who is adopting and all freaked out about open adoption. Or is it not appropriate to be that open about it? I was open about my situation today and it made me feel really uncomfortable after. I guess adoption is still a bit of a taboo subject. I don't think adoption doesn't damage people, in response to Bj's comment. I think you have good damage control and a lot of love but I don't think it's painless for everyone. I think that's a myth about open adoption, that it's ok, that it should be pushed because it's not traumatic for everyone. I think it has to be hard for Dawn and her tribe sometimes too. Hard to share I mean. I don't think it's painfree at all adoption. Sorry comment is too long.... Did you not want to expalin the situation to the photographer? I think it would have been good advertising for open adoption, he might have a friend or relative who is adopting and all freaked out about open adoption.

Or is it not appropriate to be that open about it?

I was open about my situation today and it made me feel really uncomfortable after.

I guess adoption is still a bit of a taboo subject.

I don’t think adoption doesn’t damage people, in response to Bj’s comment. I think you have good damage control and a lot of love but I don’t think it’s painless for everyone. I think that’s a myth about open adoption, that it’s ok, that it should be pushed because it’s not traumatic for everyone.

I think it has to be hard for Dawn and her tribe sometimes too. Hard to share I mean. I don’t think it’s painfree at all adoption.

Sorry comment is too long….

]]> By: Susan http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/10/27/so-the-pictures-are-done/#comment-3420 Susan Fri, 27 Oct 2006 18:17:23 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=1035#comment-3420 Do we get to seeee?? They sound adorable. I want to see the dimples, and try to find the hidden sucker. Do we get to seeee?? They sound adorable. I want to see the dimples, and try to find the hidden sucker.

]]> By: bj http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/10/27/so-the-pictures-are-done/#comment-3419 bj Fri, 27 Oct 2006 17:33:38 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/?p=1035#comment-3419 Congrats on getting successful portraits. I take lots of photographs, but only candids. I hate posing people, and it's a real art, to get people to look at and smile for the camera. I'm commenting to say that I really like your adoption story. I've never really understood how open adoption could really work, in a way that damages neither the birth mom or the adoptive family, and you're navigating your way through it, and showing me. (completely voyeuristic, since my family is complete, and doesn't involve adoption). I'm also commenting, because as I hear your stories, it reminds me of stories from other countries (I am Indian), and how adoption works in them. Extended family relative "adoptions" were frequent in my parents day and age -- children would often be fostered off into other households where they would be taken care of, and virtually adopted. I recently heard my dad, and a "cousin" discuss their family history, and it got impossibly complicated, because in addition to complicated blood-kinship, there were a series of complicated adoptive/fostering kinships. The issues of adoption/fostering are more complicated in modern society, because of the legal issues involved -- in the olden days, people just imagined that they would make things work, without the benefit (or intervention of the law). But, in many ways, it seems that what you are developing in your life as an open adoption is simlar to the stories I hear from my dad. bj Congrats on getting successful portraits. I take lots of photographs, but only candids. I hate posing people, and it’s a real art, to get people to look at and smile for the camera.

I’m commenting to say that I really like your adoption story. I’ve never really understood how open adoption could really work, in a way that damages neither the birth mom or the adoptive family, and you’re navigating your way through it, and showing me. (completely voyeuristic, since my family is complete, and doesn’t involve adoption).

I’m also commenting, because as I hear your stories, it reminds me of stories from other countries (I am Indian), and how adoption works in them. Extended family relative “adoptions” were frequent in my parents day and age — children would often be fostered off into other households where they would be taken care of, and virtually adopted. I recently heard my dad, and a “cousin” discuss their family history, and it got impossibly complicated, because in addition to complicated blood-kinship, there were a series of complicated adoptive/fostering kinships. The issues of adoption/fostering are more complicated in modern society, because of the legal issues involved — in the olden days, people just imagined that they would make things work, without the benefit (or intervention of the law). But, in many ways, it seems that what you are developing in your life as an open adoption is simlar to the stories I hear from my dad.

bj

]]>