Yet more Madonna adoption
Jody wrote:
I’ve heard media reports that the father might be confused about the nature of the adoption, not realizing its permanence (in terms of removing Madonna’s obligations to return the boy to Malawi to him someday). I’ve also heard a report that the father is angry at any objections to the adoption, asking why human-rights groups should protest something he approves. On the one hand, I’m worried about any implication that a man with limited education in a developing country is de facto incapable of making an adoption plan for his child. On the other hand, there’s ample evidence from Korean history to suggest that plenty of parents in non-Western countries DO have different definitions for the concept of adoption.
You know, this isn’t uncommon. Someone with more info will have to speak up but I do know of one story here locally where a couple from a country in Africa (if I knew which country, I’ve since forgotten it) were matched with someone in our adoption support group. But when they were all in the hospital together, it came out that the couple very clearly thought they were giving guardianship of their child and that they planned to come back at some point to bring the child back to their family. It was a cultural issue (and those of you in antiadoption will totally get the difference here) — they thought adoption was fostering and not giving up a family member. So they saw that child as creating opportunity for the family and either bringing that opportunity back when the child returned or using that opportunity to pull that family into the states somehow.
My take? Madonna needs to back the f*ck out of this adoption and use her millions to give this child and his family a better life there in his country of origin. This is not about celebrity adoption or even international adoption — it’s about this kid being illegally adopted (if he is — I’m still confused) and he has a family who still wants him to remain part of the family.
You know someone really ought to write an op-ed (hint hint) for Literary Mama (hint hint) looking at adoption issues through this situation (hint hint AGAIN!!!) because I’d like to run it this weekend and push the other op-ed I have out for awhile.
I just read on Yahoo that she did adopt the boy, and he is in London.
I wrote about this on my blog too. Did you see on CNN where they called him Madonna’s “Adoption Boy” What the hell is that?
Speaking of, front page article on CNN.com right now that goes into international adoption/race as well.
(Rober deNiro voice) You talkin’ to me? You talkin’ to me??
i dont recall there being a reaction like this when angelina jolie adopted. i am trying to understand why.
because jolie and many other celebrities went through adoption agencies and adopted from countries with established inter-country adoption procedures. Also, she and others adopted to become parents, the love of country and desire to give back often comes later. Many of us out there also support orphanages in our child’s birth country.
the way madonna did it looks — with only the “information” that is in the mass media - looks rather different. Her intentions may have been different, but that’s how it looks, I think.
There is so much demented behaviour in adoption by adoptive parents, I think it’s more productive to focus on making open adoptions legally binding, phasing out adoption lawyers and looking at how backwards your system is in America.
The problem with America is that you have a crap welfare system. The reason that you can’t get women’s babies in Holland and in Australia is because the welfare system is really good. They get health care provided for them too.
If a Dutch or Australian couple want to adopt they now go to third world countries and take an “orphan”.
I don’t really have an opinion different yours about Madonna, I don’t feel good about celebrity adoptions. I don’t feel good about adopting children who are not orphans.
Putting energy into disapproving about that is not on my list of priorities so I thought I’d drop by and ask y’all to think like me!!
i think, before we stand in judgment of madonna, we shd wait for more information about the adoption.
as far as america, what was said may or may not be true, but i think there may be fdifferent ways of saying it.
i have a blog, but i dont post all that often.
i was wondering if i qualify to take the survey.
what is an orphan? Tell a kid living in an orphanage in a developing country whose parents can’t keep him or abandon him for one reason or another that he’s not an orphan.
Not to beat a dead horse, but check out another interview with the birth father, at http://tinyurl.com/yynl4e
Most distressing excerpt (not specifically about the Ritchie family, just a distressing aspect of some adoptions, no doubt):
[The birth father] adds, “I suppose deep in my heart I always imagined that when he was better, or I had got another wife, I would go (to the orphanage) and take him back. I did not think anyone would want to take him away.”
Yohane relinquished care of his baby when his wife Marita died a week after David’s birth. He has been regularly visiting the boy in the orphanage.
Oh God:
http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/africa/10/22/malawi.madonna.reut/index.html
As I wrote (at waaaaaay too much length at ChicagoMama/Incarcerated Uterus), this is exactly why parents should pursue adoption only in countries where there are established agencies and protocols for international adoption. As botched as this whole thing now looks to be, I feel bad for Madonna and Ritchie, too. There’s no way this ends well for them, in terms of being able to talk to their son about his adoption or even being able to keep him in their home.
My husband read in a Dutch newspaper that the father didn’t understand what happened and thought she was just going to take him under her wing for a few years to help him. I think he wants his son back.
I am trying really hard to see how taking a son away from a widower is helpful to a third world country.
And as well as that I realize that I mistook being a hard worker with being intelligent. I now have serious doubts about Madonna’s intelligence.