How I celebrated the New Year
I broke my toe. And it hurts. A lot. I’m limping around like Hugh Laurie (only not so acerbic). I broke it on the couch leg when I got up to run down the hall to just-awake Madison trying to catch her before she wet the bed in her post-nap stupor. It hurt like a m*therf*cker and then after I got her up and limped back to the couch I was afraid to take off my sock and look. But a mother must not shrink from the hard things in life so I squinched my eyes shut, took off my sock and then slowly opened one eye and looked. Pretty gross. Then Noah looked and almost passed out. (It’s not even that bad of a break — a 30 degree angle sez the doc — but it just looked yuckier being on my foot. If it had been on Brett’s foot I would have told him to quit being such a sissie and walk it off. Just kidding!)
A broken toe is a stupid thing to have. I had to get it x-rayed (it kinda looked dislocated and Brett wanted to be sure before I taped it) and they wheeled me in the urgent care and into the office, which felt silly. And now it hurts enough that I can’t really get around easily but it’s a toe goddammit (the middle one on my left foot) so I feel silly making such a fuss.
Plus side to broken toes: I got a copy of the x-ray for Noah and it grossed him out badly. Then this morning we were explaining why we use kid-safe software to block some sites on his computer and he wanted to know what we were worried about him seeing. I was thinking about this picture from a motorcycle accident my brother sent me from awful DOT com (the one that still haunts my dreams) and I said, “You know how gross my x-ray was to you? Like that only worse.” And he was so horrifed that I think we’ve scared him totally out of demanding more surfing rights. At least for now.
It only hurts when I walk on it so I guess I’ll avoid walking for six weeks. It’s high time we trained the toddler to fetch and carry anyway. I’ll strap a bungie cord around her middle and send her out for useful things (books, my laptop, the tv remote) and then reel her in. I’m sure by the end of this we’ll have finally broken her fun-loving confidence and buoyant spirit and made her a useful drone. Hahahahahahahaha!
Noah, I must say, was a prince. Faint and light-headed by the newly acquired angle of my toe, he still managed to keep enthusiastic Madison off of it (”I kiss your toe, Mommy! I fix your foot! Want me to hug your foot?”) and get me the ice pack and the phone. He was terrified (being Noah) that I would die. (He’s like this — I was like this, too. I look forward to the teen years when hormones ramp his dramatic take on life way, way up. My mother is already thrilled to see that her curse — “May you have a child just like you one day!” — worked.)
“I was afraid your broken toe would spread!” he told me on the way home, proving that homeschool anatomy lessons haven’t yet taken. “I’m just glad you’re ok!”
Madison charmed the waiting room and was given free drinks and many pats on her curly head and then announced that she would become a doctor someday to fix any future injuries I might sustain.
“And,” she told me, complacently. “I will put you in your car seat when you are a baby.”
I have nice kids.
Ok, can I just say your description totally grossed me out too? Ugh.
I hope you feel better soon.
ive had several broken toes myself. sometimes the drs give a special surgical shoe which has a hard straight stiff bottom so the foot doesnt bend and avoids pain in the toe.
Ouch! The image of Madison on a bungee cord, being tossed towards whatever item you need, then reeled in, makes me laugh. The image of the broken toe makes me cringe. Good for Noah and Madison!
You have great kids.
I hope the toe heals quickly. Don’t try to push it, or you’ll end up with a bent toe that gets itchy patches of skin underneath the bend and then you have ineffective joint-removal surgery that makes it even worse.
I speak from experience, alas. I broke mine on a friggin high chair.
Oh, goodness. Having broken a toe twice in my life, I am so, so sorry you’re having to deal with that. Ow. I have a ridiculously low tolerance for pain, though. Maybe you’re much more of a trooper.
Noah is just the best.
Poor Dawn. Hope your toe mends soon. I broke my elbow once, so you have my proper sympathy.
Yikes and ouch!!! Jeez o’ petes and happy new year! It’s totally amazing how little things like TOES are so important. Seems like we should be able to suck it up and heck yes, lose 2 or 3 and still get along fine. The good news is that you could shop for a real cool cane!
No fun at all to have a broken toe - get well soon!
Oh, Dawn! (and what is it with writer-types and foot/ankle injuries?) I will be your virtual ortho-problem buddy, as I’ll also be dealing with my (less serious but also frustrating) injury for the next six weeks!
(P.S. My kids were also freaked out by my x-ray — they kept saying, “Are those things actually INSIDE YOUR FOOT????” and were freaked out when I said, “Yes, they’re called BONES, and they’re IN YOUR FEET TOO!!!”)
Ouch!
Happy New Year anyway.
I see this as a perfectly legitimate excuse for you to get all your writing caught up.
Oh, stop. I can hear you laughing form here!
Did you get a boot? If you get a cast, you should print out all your comments and decoupage them.
*laughs* DD, you’re a creative genius!!!
Oh, no! But you DO have nice kids.
oh i’m so sorry! but it was funny.
Damn, that is an amazing post from someone with a broken toe. Your writing so often encourages me to write in great detail to you - about what you have written, but then I get all shy and awkward and don’t.
Such funny/smart/wise/perceptive kids you have! I love Noah and Madison’s personalities - and how you share so well the intricacies of them. What a MOM and writer…
Gee, I may break something - so as my kids can truly understand the ugliness of the internet… I hope you know what I mean (see, I get all tongue/brain tied).
Heal quickly!
Did you get any good drugs? I guess not for a broken foot…bummer…drugs help!LOL I don’t think I broke mine (never went to the doctor) but I hurt it quite a few years back (was what prompted flats and tennis which have saved my back so overall it was a good thing) and it took FOREVER to heal so do baby it please.
You do have nice kids!
{{{hugs}}}
Oh, Dawn, ouch. I am sorry. It’s the little things that hurt the most sometimes.
Ouch, what a bummer (I was about to type “What a bad break,” but caught myself). Glad to know that your kids are helping to lift your spirits - will they also feed you bon-bons as you lounge helplessly on the couch? And does this mean you’re off the hook for any kind of cooking or cleaning for the next 6 weeks?
Just wanted you to know, your “Playing Tennis” post inspired me to write one of my longest posts in many a month. It may not be my best, but I needed it. Thanks for poking my brain with a sharp stick!
ouch. hope your toe feels better soon. good that the kids can lift your spirits!
shana tova!
[...] broken toe still hurts. And it’s still shaped kind of funny. I look at it sometimes and get sad because [...]