Comments on: More http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/ writing, mothering, writing about mothering Sun, 07 Sep 2008 14:27:01 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc By: Anger « Paragraphein http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14097 Anger « Paragraphein Sun, 24 Sep 2006 05:04:22 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14097 [...] Ambrose Bierce So. There has been some discussion in blogland about anger and failed adoption placements. I haven’t even read the original blog post and comments that sparked the firestorm (anyone care to clue me in? I’m a glutton for punishment), but after reading two of Dawn’s  latest entries (and the comments), I’ve got something to say, anyway. [...] [...] Ambrose Bierce So. There has been some discussion in blogland about anger and failed adoption placements. I haven’t even read the original blog post and comments that sparked the firestorm (anyone care to clue me in? I’m a glutton for punishment), but after reading two of Dawn’s  latest entries (and the comments), I’ve got something to say, anyway. [...]

]]> By: suz http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14096 suz Sun, 24 Sep 2006 03:02:01 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14096 margie said: <i>Yet what other disease, illness or medical challenge gives me the right to another’s child? None that I can think of, so in spite of the obvious parallels, this one shouldn’t either. Maybe it’s time to start educating the infertility support groups. </i> Margie - I completely totally agree and its one of the major things that bugs me intensely about adoption. If I lost an eye, could I take yours? If I did not have a house, could I just take yours? No. Why is it okay to take someone elses child to fill a gap in the life of a infertile couple? I just dont get it. margie said:
Yet what other disease, illness or medical challenge gives me the right to another’s child? None that I can think of, so in spite of the obvious parallels, this one shouldn’t either. Maybe it’s time to start educating the infertility support groups.

Margie - I completely totally agree and its one of the major things that bugs me intensely about adoption.

If I lost an eye, could I take yours?
If I did not have a house, could I just take yours?
No.
Why is it okay to take someone elses child to fill a gap in the life of a infertile couple?
I just dont get it.

]]> By: Melissa http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14095 Melissa Sun, 24 Sep 2006 01:06:11 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14095 Great post Dawn. I agree. Some of these comments, though, are a little rough. Anger is a natural part of the grief process. Emotions are not necessarily logical. The attitudes of the paps, I think, are a seperate matter, and may come out in how they deal with the grief. But I would not say they should not grieve, or have feelings for their loss in the situation. You did address this in a later post. I love your insight! Great post Dawn. I agree. Some of these comments, though, are a little rough. Anger is a natural part of the grief process. Emotions are not necessarily logical. The attitudes of the paps, I think, are a seperate matter, and may come out in how they deal with the grief. But I would not say they should not grieve, or have feelings for their loss in the situation. You did address this in a later post. I love your insight!

]]> By: Shannon http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14094 Shannon Sat, 23 Sep 2006 18:19:45 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14094 Christine, I think we are possibly talking about two different things. Dawn, if you don't mind, I'm going to expand on my thoughts on this topic at my own blog and stop hi-jacking yours! Christine, I think we are possibly talking about two different things.

Dawn, if you don’t mind, I’m going to expand on my thoughts on this topic at my own blog and stop hi-jacking yours!

]]> By: Christine http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14075 Christine Sat, 23 Sep 2006 08:41:58 +0000 http://www.thiswomanswork.com/2006/09/21/more/#comment-14075 I hear you, Shannon. Our experiences, attitudes, personalities, etc. are different so we're going to react to situations differently. But I wouldn't accuse you of being - what? heterophobic? - if you experienced a situation in your life that made you angry. What I'm reacting to here is the assertion that because I felt anger at a situation that was hurtful at the time I must be ageist, racist, classist, and small. I sincerely hope that you never experience a disrupted placement and that #2 proceeds smoothly for you and Cole. No matter how clearly you understand something in your head, the reality is that it's less clear once your heart is involved. I hear you, Shannon. Our experiences, attitudes, personalities, etc. are different so we’re going to react to situations differently.

But I wouldn’t accuse you of being - what? heterophobic? - if you experienced a situation in your life that made you angry. What I’m reacting to here is the assertion that because I felt anger at a situation that was hurtful at the time I must be ageist, racist, classist, and small.

I sincerely hope that you never experience a disrupted placement and that #2 proceeds smoothly for you and Cole. No matter how clearly you understand something in your head, the reality is that it’s less clear once your heart is involved.

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